xNTP and deciphering non-communication

[Antimony]

I'm working on a reply, but I have to stop and ask you something else. Have you mentioned anything to him about the non-communication?

This thread has become: Nerd Girl Advising Antimony on the Likes of Men

Yes, of course I have. I called him today

He is probably in school. Or was. And getting him to answer is sometimes like winning the lottery. Luck. Angle of the sun. Number of blades of grass under feet.

 

[A window to the soul]

This thread has become: Nerd Girl Advising Antimony on the Likes of Men

Yes, of course I have. I called him today

He is probably in school. Or was. And getting him to answer is sometimes like winning the lottery. Luck. Angle of the sun. Number of blades of grass under feet.

Yes? Arg, then I have to scrap the darn reply I was working on. Come on, work with me!

Are you nagging xNTP and telling him what he should do to remedy the non-communication?

[Please say no.]

 

[Antimony]

Yes? Arg, then I have to scrap the darn reply I was working on. Come on, work with me!

Are you nagging xNTP and telling him what he should do to remedy the non-communication?

[Please say no.]

Why scrap? And no.

 

[A window to the soul]

Why scrap? And no.

Because you said yes to my question, if you talked to him about the non-communication issues.

 

[Antimony]

Because you said yes to my question, if you talked to him about the non-communication issues.

I just said that I wish he would respond to me. Basically.

 

[Antimony]

I think cowboy used to like you a lot.

I'm not offering any advice at the moment. I'm just throwing out some thoughts based on the info you provided us. I did make a few assumptions; therefore, please make any necessary corrections.

I'm doing this in a brief bulleted format because I have to step away. Hopefully the summary will help you see what I think I see.

This reads like a mellow-drama...

1. xNTP is love struck; seriously.
2. You suspected it, but played dumb because he was moving too painfully slow for an ENTP's taste to consider him anything more than a friend.
   [*]Suddenly, you have a boyfriend. had a boyfriend before I met him.
3. Suddenly, xNTP is hurt. (You have no idea he's hurt or cared that much.)
4. He stops communicating.
5. You wonder what the heck.
6. You broke up with your boyfriend.
7. You contact xNTP because well, he's a friend. It's bittersweet.
   [*]You talked about your ex, he doesn’t want to hear it, doesn't tell you, but listens anyway as old friends do. He wanted to, I think. Or acted it. Could be faking?
8. Suddenly, he's not happy with your renewed relationship.
9. He stops communicating.
10. You wonder what the heck.
11. So while he's already not diggin' your renewed relationship (friendship), you tell him you wish he would respond to you. (He's now empowered in his thinking that the relationship/friendship is for the birds, and does a walk-run away.)

I might be wrong.

Overall, that sounds pretty valid, unless I am wrong in some of what I read. I don't want to be like HEY LOOK AT ME I'M SINGLE.

*sigh*

This is why I am poking. Srsly.

I think after chilling with him with my then-boyfriend, he decided he didn't want to partake in wanting something he evidently couldn't have, despite our obvious connection and intellect match.

 

[A window to the soul]

Overall, that sounds pretty valid, unless I am wrong in some of what I read. I don't want to be like HEY LOOK AT ME I'M SINGLE.

*sigh*

This is why I am poking. Srsly.

I think after chilling with him with my then-boyfriend, he decided he didn't want to partake in wanting something he evidently couldn't have, despite our obvious connection and intellect match.

I understand the allure. I'm just a little concerned the poking will be misconstrued for neediness. I'm equally concerned he's playing games with you and your actions are landing you a first class seat on his power trip. You really don't want to become dependent on this guy for confidence; he'll know it and have complete control over you. He already knows you want to talk to him; no more prodding or poking. I think it's counter-productive for the reasons stated.

You already thought about all of this, didn't you? Don't fight it...

 

[Antimony]

I understand the allure. I'm just a little concerned the poking will be misconstrued for neediness. I'm equally concerned he's playing games with you and your actions are landing you a first class seat on his power trip. You really don't want to become dependent on this guy for confidence; he'll know it and have complete control over you. He already knows you want to talk to him; no more prodding. Or poking. I think it's counter-productive for the reasons stated.

You already thought about all of this, didn't you? Don't fight it...

Fortunately I have more than enough ego to spare. I think he is probably enjoying the attention. I am not sure he realizes I would keep wanting to talk when he finally did. Or does. He has no control over me. I don't see us talking unless I pursue it.

Does it matter if it is not detrimental to my self esteem?

 

[A window to the soul]

Fortunately I have more than enough ego to spare. I think he is probably enjoying the attention. I am not sure he realizes I would keep wanting to talk when he finally did. Or does. He has no control over me. I don't see us talking unless I pursue it.

Does it matter if it is not detrimental to my self esteem?

Infallible. Gotcha!

The situation doesn't scream 'win-win' because he's resisting, possibly game playing, possibly serious, which may turn what you're doing into messing with him for kicks. In that case, it's one-sided 'win' like a conquest. (Let's hope he's not ENTP.)

 

[Antimony]

Infallible. Gotcha!

The situation doesn't scream 'win-win' because he's resisting, possibly game playing, possibly serious, which may turn what you're doing into messing with him for kicks. In that case, it's one-sided 'win' like a conquest. (Let's hope he's not ENTP.)

I'm banking on INTP. I think he might be too nihilistic for this to be a conquer vs. fail scenario. I guess I'll find out eventually.

 

[MiasmaResonance]

I am the same way with most people I know, minus one or two people. As for the "He has many acquaintances, but claims to have no one he is extremely close to" bit, I relate to this as well. I don't have any trouble getting to know people that I have to, but I don't consider those people to be my friends, and thus feel little need to communicate with them outside of settings where it is necessary/for my own benefit.

From the few things you've said, it is possible he is INTP, but it may very well just be that he is stressed out or busy.