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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Sep 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    life's a bitch, nah better yet a dumb broad
    and i bet i can fuck the world and make it cum hard
    I'm 21.
    Sitting on the porch sippin on jim bean
    read the newspaper man guess i what i seen
    shit bad enough to make a grown ass scream
    and then i walk out this is not a bad dream.

  2. #42
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    4w5 sx/sp


    And then tell us how you perceive life.Interesting. Confusing.

    Do you think life is easy/hard, a struggle? I used to think life was hard, and imagined it would only get harder. However, as of the past year I'm starting to feel as though life is getting easier. But not because life is making it easier, but because I'm finally adapting to life. I've realized I had been duped nearly my entire life into believing that things should be a certain way at a certain age and that I should be so "adult" with material wealth, and a career and husband and family, and that these things would somehow magically fall into my lap. (Well, not really magical. Obviously hard work, etc is involved in there, too.) But my point is that we were taught to believe that we should all be attaining those things at a very young age. As I got older, I realized my perception of what makes one happy in life was different and that success isn't measured in physical attainables. And honesty, that's when life eased up a bit.

    Do you feel like you have a lot of control over how your life goes? For the most part, I've always felt as though the only thing to ever step in my way is my own self. Be it my own limitations, my mistakes, my emotions. I didn't pick my particular hand in life, but I have control over what I do with that hand.

    Have you found a specific outlook towards life that helps you a lot? (for example, you have learned that perseverence is the key to success or that tolerance is the key to relationships).
    Generally, I strive to become a wiser human being. I try and avoid living ignorantly. Doesn't mean I always succeed, but that's the goal.

    Do you have goals in your life that you think you will achieve or are your goals out of reach? I used to have a lot of goals that were out of reach. Trying to live up to and attain my lofty desires was making me miserable. I've simplified my goals and aspirations. But not too much either. I have a certain place I hope to attain, and most likely will. But I'm no longer under the impression that I have to do something big. I'm more focused on doing something good. And I also put less emphasis on material success. As long as I can put a roof over my head and food in my stomach and in general remain healthy, I consider that a win. I sometimes want to get caught up in the social status battle of attaining fancy cars and clothes, but then I try and just humble myself down. I DON'T want to get caught in that game.

    Quote Originally Posted by ICUP View Post
    Interesting, because I have only recently found that I have more control over my life than I ever thought before. I don't think I ever thought, as many young people do, that I was in control, so it's happened the opposite way for me.

    I agree with your thoughts on perseverence. Nothing good in life is easy, to me. As I've said, adaptability is of utmost importance to me, but I'm not sure if I want to go with the flow as much as control the outcome.

    I think that some people have it easier early-on, and then later are tested moreso, so they find they aren't as in-control as they originally thought. My situation was opposite, as in, I was tested and re-tested early-on, and I have been able to overcome a lot of adversity, by my own hands. So I think I now find that I am in control, because I have proven to myself I can handle the horrible situations I was dealt in life, and eventually find solutions to them. This ability gives me strength and a sense of peace, knowing that I can handle whatever life throws at me, on my own.
    I agree with this sentiment. I felt as though life started out really hard for me, and with age it became easier because I changed my perspective. Life wasn't really hard, I just thought it was and therefore made it hard.

    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    I'm 26 and finding that life is opening all the doors instead of shutting them for the first time. Resistance is less,money is good, I've got a good idea of who I am and what I am capable of, and have the tools to do what I need to do. I'm also in great health and single, of course- (nothing holding me back.)

    In general, I understand that life will not always be the same, and that this may be the only time I have to act. I feel as though I'm on the lucky end of the spectrum compared to the general public.

    Right now, I enjoy doing things as I feel the time is right. Always have been an independent fighter/survivor type person. Now I feel like I don't need as much of the fighting and surviving part and more just going what the flow of where life is taking me- being open to opportunities and acting on them as they come to me naturally. I found that my purpose and goals may be much larger than originally imagined, and that they could actually happen on their own if I just quietly listen to my heart.
    I thought I might reply since I'm in the same age bracket. I actually moved in the opposite direction: as opposed to going with the flow so much, I'm actively fighting for what I want. I used to believe my goals or purpose in life should be bigger than myself, but I don't think this way anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    I see a general pattern of general optimism in early 20's stretching into thinking life is difficult in early 40's. I wish someone over the age of 45 would actually get on the internet sites so we could see if the pendulum swings back as you get older.
    Well, I'm not in my 40's, but going from childhood to teens to mid-twenties, I feel as though I'm becoming more optimistic. I was scared of life and the future when I was younger.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  3. #43
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne


    Please tell us your general age group
    early 20s

    And then tell us how you perceive life.
    Do you think life is easy/hard, a struggle?

    i think it's complex. there are periods of easiness and hardness... and those can be very different for individuals. i had a very difficult early childhood, an easy later childhood, easy early teenage, hard later teenage, very easy college, very hard immediately following, and now things are beginning to ease up again.

    as for struggles, i think those are inevitable and good. we'll always be struggling against something, but that's okay, because it's how we get stronger. it's not necessarily bad to struggle, even if it's challenging and can wear you out from time to time. it also affords you victory, determination, and wisdom.

    Do you feel like you have a lot of control over how your life goes?

    i'm at a weird point now - i'm starting to see exactly how terrifyingly much control i do have. i've always been on a fairly standard set course, and now i'm realizing that the world is really bigger and there are more viable options than i had realized. one of my friends recently moved to the middle east, started teaching, and got married. we all thought she was just studying abroad for a bit - it's turned into her life path. i could do that. i could move abroad. i could go see the middle east. it's such a complicated tangle of having enough commitments to be able to afford to make new commitments.

    Have you found a specific outlook towards life that helps you a lot? (for example, you have learned that perseverence is the key to success or that tolerance is the key to relationships).

    learning to trust is good. i'm learning to trust in relationships, which scares me a lot. learning to surrender and to give the benefit of the doubt, learning to not cover my ass all the time. learning that it's okay to totally be who i am.

    actually that's a good one - just being who i am. for a long time i've tried to be someone else and it's a hell of a lot easier and more fun to just be a good version of myself. not that i don't still struggle, but it's getting better.

    i like the phrase "trust the universe" a lot. i think that a lot. it's my mantra of sorts, i guess. it really resonates with me - makes sense to me - and brings me to a place of calmness. i have trouble trusting individuals and situations but i do trust the big picture, so bringing myself back to the big big picture is good. also living in the moment is good, when i can manage to do it. it's the middle-big picture that gives me problems - when it's big enough that it seems like the big picture but it's actually not.

    Do you have goals in your life that you think you will achieve or are your goals out of reach?

    i've achieved most of goals i've really put forth. my goals tend to be very global and longterm... things like finish school, get a job, go to a good college, establish good lasting friendships, find someone i want to spend my life with, etc. so essentially i feel like my goals are always in reach, if i honestly put legwork behind them. i think the thing that's been surprising me is the order of these things. i had a very set perception of how my life would go, and things are starting to get out of order, and i'm having to deal with that cognitively. like i always thought i'd go to grad school right out of college - didn't happen. i thought i'd have a great job, too, but the economy tanked, so that went south. and then i've met someone i think i will be with for quite a long time... this isn't really the order i expected. it's okay, but... i'm having to shuffle.

    my biggest problem right now is i do feel a bit trapped, and it's really of my own fault - i can't decide the path i want to take next, so i'm stuck in my current blah position. which is okay, but not ideal, and i CANNOT STAND not having a big longterm goal, like i always have. it's driving me a bit nutty. i just really don't want to make the wrong decision, so it's paralyzing me a bit.

    i don't think life is necessarily harder than i thought, but it's harder in much different ways than i thought.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Yay, my 20's were probably my most unhappy, confused years of my life (generally speaking), and my teens weren't much better. From my perspective 30's are WAY better, as I had worked through most of the elements causing me such discord in those prior decades, and am now in a better position to navigate through, and understand, myself and life. I've also heard many state kind of the opposite of your article, that 40's are better than 30's. And so on. It's really pretty individual I think.

    I think that if someone had the best time of their life in their teens and 20's, then they may not have had many challenges, or even had a need to broach certain life topics/thoughts (and there's nothing wrong with that), so they're bound to dip down a bit and the sheer contrast will be painful. Whereas someone who had it rougher in their teens/20's may have already come to terms with many elements of life/ come to know themselves well, so that their golden years are later on. But then you have a big subset of very bitter older people who are having a rough go of it, and they would say life was much better in their younger years. I mean, you can go back and forth on this - it's why I think it's very individual.

    I think a big piece of the 'golden years' though (at whatever age it happens) isn't necessarily that it IS easier/things really ARE that much better - but rather it's the mindset that allows one to be ok and happy and accepting/at peace with much of what comes ones' way. As others have said, life is what you make of it. Much of it is perception. What angle are you looking at it? And if you're happy, you're happy. Even if tangibly you're dealing with things that you wouldn't have been able to cope with when younger.

    I suppose we all go through many of the same phases, just at differing times in life.
    One thing that is good about the 40's is that you develop a sort of confidence that you didn't have before. From my own life, and other women I know, you start to feel free of the social pressure of caring too much what other people think of you. Then you are free to be whoever you are.

    I think most of the negatives of the 40's is that there is pressure on all sides - you are raising children, taking care of aging parents and trying to survive on too little income and not enough time. By the time you are in your 60's, your caretaking on both sides is done.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010


    I talked to some women in their 60's and 70's the other day. They said they are happier now because when they were young they thought there was some golden life that they were supposed to achieve. Now they realize that it's too late to achieve that "golden" life and they just accept their life for what it was.

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