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  1. #21
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    i went to a new england prep school,
    where everybody ordered clothes from
    the same j.crew catalog, and all had
    monogrammed ll bean bookbags, and
    wore patagonia fleece jackets over their
    clothes and had a northface puffy jacket.

    i thought it was completely bizzare how
    they alllll looked the same ...willingly.

    i just figured they didn't really care about
    clothes. but then they would always come
    borrow clothes from me for weekends and
    formal sit down dinners at school. and it's
    always nice to have people to play dress up
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  2. #22
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010


    Thanks for all the replies. I have just always been curious about this. I'm sure there are different reasons for different people, but I think the thing that struck me the most was the comment that people sometimes want to be accepted or rejected outwardly, because they know they are different inside, and if a person can accept their outward appearance, then they are more willing to let the person know their inner self. That makes a lot of sense to me.

    I dress slightly more "flower child" than other people, but mostly I dress the same.

    Sometimes I feel very trapped by the clothes that I already wear. Like sometimes I would like to try wearing knee high black boots, but I know that would be very shocking to the people who have known me for a long time and it would probably create a lot of comments. I wish I could experiment with stuff like that without it causing any notice from other people.

    I know a lady who told me that she dressed in earth tones with the hope that no one would notice her and she could just blend in. And that is her whole personality - very vanilla, but pleasant.

  3. #23
    Its time. Cassandra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008


    I echo O.A's post

    Two more thoughts:

    * dressing up more extreme in different 'costumes' is kind of like role helps you star in your own fantasy and figuring out who you are along the way.

    * Sometimes the main stream clothing style isn't exactly flattering for your particular shape and personality.

    I've had that issue for 5 years with the fashion here in Europe. And then 5 years ago *everyone* was wearing my style (boho), which was kinda *rolls eyes* as well. least it was easier to find fun clothes then. I personally wear boho coz it is comfortable, suits my hourglass shaped body and symbolizes who I am inside. It's a style that's thrown together in a very fun, original and informal way, with a lot of feminine curves.

    I also wear other styles when the mood strikes:

    When I feel gloomy/angry/brooding, I can go goth..completely black. It's just a reflection of how I feel. I also love going 50's glamour/marilyn monroe when I feel seductive and ultra feminine. When I feel blah/lazy/indifferent, I'll wear yoga pants and top. When I feel chipper/giddy/romantic, I'll go more hippy than boho and when I feel spiriual/serene/self-reflective, I'll wear those typically sheer, floaty clothes, associated with that state of mind.

    It's just about feeling comfortable with yourself, I think.

    Tbh, I've tried 'dressing for success'/the whole corporate style and it makes me feel bloathed, locked up and boring. I've also done the casual mom look, and well..let's just say, I aint no mom. It's like being a fraud. You feel uncomfortable and eventually depressed as it *just* isn't you.

  4. #24
    Senior Member shoshana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011


    to be honest, "goth" and "punk" clothing styles (although arguably a tad outdated), are pretty well defined countercultures turned subculture clothing styles.
    i'd argue that they are not quite 'mainstream' as you might define it, but i would also argue that the people within the subculture are adhering to a specific style in order to identify themselves as being apart of that group (even if they're not).

    this goes for like the rave scene, preppy kids, club kids, bboys, skaters, so on and so forth.

    i think this is different than the kids who are totally self-expressive in their clothing choice -- i know a few who are like this, and i'd venture to say they are a much more rare find. i'm sure they get looks, but they're looks of lust!!!

  5. #25
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    ENFj None


    I used to dress outlandishly. I loved the style, the accessorizing, etc. I also enjoyed the group of people I could find that were dressing along the same lines, more than those who chose a more 'normal' route. In high school, it was a way for the eccentric folks to find one another more easily and band together. However, my school didn't have specific cliques and rivalries really. It was just a better way to pinpoint those with similarities in interests and aesthetic.

    I still have an armada of clothes and boots and so on that I will always love, but am less likely to find a place for in my current attire due to feeling it makes me come across as younger or more insecure in ways. I suppose a lot of it is because those groups of people now tend to be younger, like I was. I'm not inclined to attract the young people now .
    My style has managed to mature and still maintain an air of eccentric, but it's far less outlandish. It's also not a matter of fitting in, but I wouldn't be confident in my old style daily. I've moved on to a Zumba style that I'm far more confident in half of the time, which is very colorful and interesting in itself.

    For some people, it is where their confidence lies. There's the factor that people use it to hide insecurities of their own, and to draw attention but distract from what really bothers them about them. Then there are the people that would feel absolutely insecure in other styles that may not match them. A lot of people may feel out of place trying to dress "goth" if they tend toward "normal", and the same can happen with those who try to dress "norma", despite them tending toward "goth".
    It may be an age-related factor in some ways. I know a handful of older "goths" who are comfortable like that, and I don't get any vibe of insecurity or anything from them. It meshes with their interests, personality, and where they fancy spending time. The younger people seem to be more into finding who they are, and most seem to be momentarily comfortable, as if they need to find themselves further before they will alter their style.

    Side note: Halloween allows me to rock my 5" boots . I'm so excited!
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man

    .:: DWTWD ::.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

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