Why I think I'm XXXX as opposed to ENFP

[amerellis]

The types I'm closest to/ a combination of are INFP, ESFP, and ENTP.
So the type that is my nearest neighbor is ESFP which is why I come across as an E and due to Se and other things, influences why I am so impatient, impulsive and indulgent, as I don't have an INTJ shadow type to help balance this out.
However, I have the functions of an INFP (with ESTJ shadow).
Also, I have Ne very similar to that of ENTP males and, despite our different functions, we often have a very good understandings of one another. However, I have made a real effort to change lately so this may not be as true now as it once was.
So all this must sound like wtf? but I don't think this for no reason. It really does fit me.
______________

When I was younger, I was more balanced and had the functions of an ESTJ primarily displayed in my personality but as I got older and things shifted, I became more and more NF and then when I got depressed it was like I officially switched to Fi dom Ne secondary, INFP functions. Which, with my depression, shocked the hell out of my INTP sister, who was used to the more ESTJ functioning me growing up. She did not respond very kindly to my new NF Fi dom, let's just say.
I learned about meyers briggs shortly after I became depressed and self-conscious. I was fascinated and shocked that my INFP typing was so rare cause when I was younger (ages 9-11) after I had learned to be more social, I had felt pretty normal and assumed others were like me, which, having primarily ESTJ functions, was I guess a little bit true.
Anyway, I was so intrigued by what I thought I could learn from this test that a ton of my friends from church and I had taken together.
And . . . that's when it all began. I became obsessed. I eventually figured out which types I was and wasn't compatible with which didn't match up at all for the types INFPs and ENFPs were supposed to find compatible. For example, weren't INTPs supposed to generally be compatible with ENFPs AND INFPs? Sure as hell wasn't true with me and my sister, due to my ESFP likeness. I could not understand the way she thought about things for the life of me. Also, I was despised by both ENTJ and ESTP males. As an INFP, ESTPs hating me seemed possible because we were so different but ENTJ was supposed to be a type I was compatible with. As an ENFP, it didn't make sense either; ESTPs and ENFPs, at least of the same gender, seemed to be pretty compatible as most Same Different Different Percieving types seem to be. But no, ESTP males loathed me and ESTP females . . . we had no understanding. All this is just how the types I was and wasn't compatible with indicated I wasn't exactly typical for either type. Another part of realizing I wasn't typical for either one was that I didn't feel I could relate to either of the types. The people of the same type as you, you would think there would be a feeling of connection, of understanding, but I was SO different from all the other INFPs I encountered, online and irl, and ENFPs I couldn't relate to either.
When I was younger, my first real friend was an ESFP. She was drawn to me initially because I had an ESTJ I don't care what people think about me attitude. She was wonderful; liked by all she was one of the most popular girls in school and it was strange that an odd one like me ended up becoming her best friend. It was through being friends with her that I came to learn how to be more social. Me being so near to ESFP and us being kids and all, we got along great. I had been a pretty odd kid, but through social interaction I better learned what was and wasn't acceptable to say. I instead translated my weirdness into a socially acceptable, and out spoken sense of humor. I loved making my ESFP friend laugh and she was just so much fun to be around.
Anyway, point of the story: That's how I, for a while at least, learned to be socially adapt and how I learned to express myself more normally. Even now I can still hear the influence her voice had on mine.
After all that then you might be thinking, could you be an ESFP then? But the answer is no. I don’t relate well to ESFPs either and I’m quite certainly an NF.
You might be wondering . . . how do you know that your functions are INFP/ESTJ and not ENFP/ISTJ? Well . . . because as I got older and more NF, I became more and more introverted and socially awkward not to mention, very weird.
I’m sure you guys will be having a lot of doubts and questions about all this. Feel free to ask, but if a question ends up somehow being related to the typing method I’ve developed, I’m really sorry you guys but I won’t be answering those ones.
Thanks for taking the time to reading all this!

 

[ThatGirl]

I think your theories are wrong. That your typing is so influenced by your own personal experience, you yourself don't even know what to make of them. So you say you have a method. You don't.

I think it would be difficult to type you at this point due to your understandings. MBTI isn't a language or manual that bridges understandings between people. I also think, oddly enough, you remind me a little of myself.

You would probably get a kick from reading about chakras. Specially if you have been obsessed with MBTI for so long, and still haven't received the answers you are looking for.

 

[amerellis]

I think your theories are wrong. That your typing is so influenced by your own personal experience, you yourself don't even know what to make of them. So you say you have a method. You don't.

I can't tell whether you meant that So as in like therefore or as in like so what? If you meant the former then . . .huh? Also, everyone is influenced by their personal experiences . . . you can't really escape that.

I think it would be difficult to type you at this point due to your understandings. MBTI isn't a language or manual that bridges understandings between people. I also think, oddly enough, you remind me a little of myself.

I don't think it bridges understandings at all. But . . . for a long time my voice just grated on certain people, perhaps still does to some, and understanding MBTI helped me better understand that and begin to alter it. I'd rather be heard by people how I really am, which is't that great as my F has been worn down over the years, then as undeservedly annoying/cruel or cool/kind. What you are literally saying has much less to do with people's perception of you than people realize. If people get a vibe then by golly that's what they go by.
And if I remind you a little of yourself that could make sense if we both use EXTJ/IXFP functions.

You would probably get a kick from reading about chakras. Specially if you have been obsessed with MBTI for so long, and still haven't received the answers you are looking for.

lol I think chakras are way off. And who says I haven't found the answers I'm looking for? I have.

 

[ThatGirl]

Well then. You're more than welcome to join my thread. Answer some of the questions people have asked here.

Thread

 

[amerellis]

Well then. You're more than welcome to join my thread. Answer some of the questions people have asked here.

Thread

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! We agree on something! That my type is unclear!

 

[amerellis]

Last night, I had a dream that all these INFPs were mocking me and saying I didn't belong as an INFP.

Then I wake up to my Dad claiming that it might just be my Grandma's dying wish that I become more responsible and better at doing chores like cleaning my room and doing laundry (my only two chores actually as my mom hires a maid). I have issues doing chores not just because I never had to do them growing up (my parents' fault not mine) but also because I am so freaking unbalanced. It takes me so much effort to do stuff like that that I feel if I'm going to do it, it has to be perfect. Well not perfect perhaps but up to my ideal standards. (same dif) Like if I'm going to be motivated and feel good about doing my laundry, then I'll also want a place to put it when it's folded, but my room is a mess and I wouldn't feel satisfied if I had a pile of neatly folded clothes in a chaotic mess of a room, which I would then seriously need to be redecorated because I haven't changed anything over the years and literally most of the stuff in there is from when I was 8. And if I was going to have a nice room I would also want to take better care of myself and have a nicer wardrobe, one that doesn't mostly consist of free T shirts and hand me downs. Which I mean I could, my family is not poor just frugal but the thing is is . . . as you can see, I view responsibility as like a package and, as much as I long for it sometimes, I really just don't have the drive. I think my being close to ESFP and having that sort of Se without any Ni to balance it out, contributes a lot to my laziness. I only do things I don't want to do if I feel it is necessary, and the more I don't want to do it, the more dire the need has to be. Like I'm actually a hard worker when it comes to my job cause I know I'm getting paid for it, I think I sort of owe it to them, and also I want to keep my job. But, if it's like at home and my parents tell me to do my laundry my response is almost always, "Ok I will (later)" and if it's to clean my room my response is "There’s no need" because I mean we almost never have company over and when we do I can just shut my door and idc if it’s clean, and even if I do put in minimal effort, which I don't like doing because I don't ever feel satisfied but just to make my parents happy, I often find that isn't enough motivation either because i don't care about their praise or approval much at all, seeing how I’m always putting in minimal effort and getting their praise and approval anyway, and I often find that doing it out of pure empathy for them just isn't enough.
Like a lot of times what happens when my mom tells me to do my laundry is after the like 5th prompting I’ll go into my room and I’ll bend over and start picking up clothes but I find this process not only uncomfortable, but the task of trying to distinguish the clean clothes from the dirty just pisses me off because of the uncertainty of it. (The obvious solution is keep all your clean clothes in one place and dirty in another but that would require me remembering and being organized and I’m very disorganized and forgetful) Small tasks like that where I feel uncertain and see no definitive answer in sight often piss me off so much that I decide it’s just not worth it and put it off some more until the need is even more dire and the motivation therefore more strong. I guess this uncertainty issue thing partly has to do with the literal perfectionistic standards and thinking that I have but don’t live up to.
Sometimes I wonder if my Asperger’s diagnosis is just because I’m an XXXX and not really an Aspie. Or maybe I am both XXXX and Aspie. I relate to Asperger’s in a lot of ways: how some social norms escape me, my senses are kind of intense (I’m a very picky eater), I have synesthesia, I’m skilled in finding visual/auditory patterns in things when I try, and am basically socially challenged but I can also see how these things could result from me purely being an odd type, with unusual functions who is extremely unbalanced. I have been professionally diagnosed as having PDD and then I was professionally diagnosed as having Asperger’s but, both of these were done recently, not when I was a child as would be normal, although some Aspies are unaware they are Aspie well into adult hood and I’m sure some go their whole life without ever knowing.
I just wish I could be a normal INFP. Or a normal any type, I don’t care. I’d rather be well balanced and normal than gifted in some areas and positively moronic in most others. *sigh*
Anyway, thanks for reading this if you did. I think it helped me to write this all down, and it also gave you more information as to why I typed myself as I have and for you to try typing me yourself with if you care to.

 

[VagrantFarce]

Listen,

All of these categories you're using to define yourself - they're meaningless. Repeat that again: meaningless. They don't define you. Don't let them pin you down, or use them as an excuse. Don't do yourself the disservice. You once had the confidence to be and to do whatever you wanted, I'm sure of it - you just need to remind yourself of it.

Learn to take action - define yourself by how you act, rather than by how you think of yourself right now. Convince yourself that there's more to you than what you've arbitrarily designated yourself, and you'll find yourself to be more capable than you can possibly imagine.

I am not feeding you bullshit - take action to change who you are, right now. You are not deficient, you have all the ability in the world to tackle any situation you may find yourself in, you simply lack the confidence to act - and you need to act to make things better. Figure out whatever it is that's preventing you from taking action and improving your life, and fix that. You'll know right away what it is.

And for god's sake, don't let yourself fall back on the same old categories. Don't find solace in this horseshit, it will only anesthetize you and limit your options.

 

[A window to the soul]

[MENTION=5632]VagrantFarce[/MENTION]: Double amens!! Your post kicks asses. I couldn't have said it better.

 

[amerellis]

Listen,

All of these categories you're using to define yourself - they're meaningless. Repeat that again: meaningless. They don't define you. Don't let them pin you down, or use them as an excuse. Don't do yourself the disservice. You once had the confidence to be and to do whatever you wanted, I'm sure of it - you just need to remind yourself of it.

I disagree that they're meaningless although there have been times when I would have agreed with you. I agree they don't define me although, in a way they do . . . I know what you mean, the down side of learning your type is that you can feel pinned down and think that what it claims you are good at are the only things you can be. It tells you what you are supposed to be like. And I know it seems like it but I'm not trying to use my typing as an excuse just an honest explanation for how I am so I can better know how to learn and grow from here. And your last sentence made me smile.

Learn to take action - define yourself by how you act, rather than by how you think of yourself right now. Convince yourself that there's more to you than what you've arbitrarily designated yourself, and you'll find yourself to be more capable than you can possibly imagine.

Well . . . I did just do my laundry to make my Dad happy. There were a couple times when, comparing the mess in front of me to my high standards I felt so overwhelmed and frustrated that I just wanted to walk away, but I took the time to calm down and get through that and once I did, yeah it was really easy. I know it seems so simple but I just have the tendency to see things as a part of something bigger than they are.

I am not feeding you bullshit - take action to change who you are, right now. You are not deficient, you have all the ability in the world to tackle any situation you may find yourself in, you simply lack the confidence to act - and you need to act to make things better. Figure out whatever it is that's preventing you from taking action and improving your life, and fix that. You'll know right away what it is.

lol I do know right away. It's my functions. xD
Thinking that I'm just inhibited and that this is strictly a confidence issue . . . well seeing how I've been depressed for years there is some truth to that, but it's only part of the truth.

And for god's sake, don't let yourself fall back on the same old categories. Don't find solace in this horseshit, it will only anesthetize you and limit your options.

K, first of all I don't find solace in it as I have all the same problems as before. My type isn't exactly comforting. And like I said before, I too, not even that long ago, was convinced MBTI was total BS. But . . . it's actually not. Most people do belong to one of the 16 types. And saying that it will only anesthetize you and limit your options, that is incorrect because that is not the only effect it can have. Like all technology/knowlege, it is actually neutral and it is up to how we use/interperate it as to whether the effects are postive or negative. I tend to agree that over all the effects of it can be pretty negative, a way of putting people into boxes, but it can also be helpful in giving you insight about yourself, learning about your functions so you can work to be more balanced. And for me, that's how I intend to use it.

 

[Thalassa]

I think your theories are wrong. That your typing is so influenced by your own personal experience, you yourself don't even know what to make of them. So you say you have a method. You don't.

I think it would be difficult to type you at this point due to your understandings. MBTI isn't a language or manual that bridges understandings between people. I also think, oddly enough, you remind me a little of myself.

You would probably get a kick from reading about chakras. Specially if you have been obsessed with MBTI for so long, and still haven't received the answers you are looking for.

You say that about chakras like there's something wrong with yoga, meditation or Eastern medicine.