E vs. I statements

[SilkRoad]

Infact, dare I say that when a P finally DOES take a strong stance on something I really listen up. This is because the P is infact looking deeply for the truth. They are constantly comparing it with new info, they examine every angle, they challenge it constantly. They don't just hold to something for the sake of closure. And in this respect, I trust P's quite a bit or atleast understand the value it took to get to there conclusion. .

What I wonder is, how do you really KNOW that they've taken that strong stance?

I'm not trying to say that all ExxPs are untrustworthy, I hope it doesn't come across that way. It's mainly a communication gulf, but one I find hard to bridge. I have probably just had a few bad experiences, for one thing. I mean, I know that in at least one or two cases it was a bad experience because there was far too much of that sounding board/"you're a useful free therapist" dynamic - which could definitely happen with any type.

But I guess I'm trying to say that sometimes an ExxP will come across as super-definitive but then nothing comes of it or they do the opposite. And that totally confuses me and makes me wary about trusting. So I really wonder how you KNOW that they're going to follow through, and that it isn't a whim.

I can kind of understand the "trying a thought on for size by saying it" thing - but only intellectually, if you know what I mean. It is never going to be a communication style that I really understand as in sympathizing with it.

I probably sound a bit judgmental here. I think part of the problem is definitely that I've had a couple of bad experiences and the nature of them was somewhat filtered through type. Obviously you can meet immature and unhealthy people of any type. Perhaps it is even harder to understand the nature of their immaturity and unhealthiness when their type is very different from yours.

 

[Thalassa]

People can say things like that as a figure of speech when they've had too much to eat, for example. "Ugh I never want to see another ----- kind of food again!" ....but then later they get hungry, and after they've had more variety in their diet, they may in fact actually want that cheese, or whatever food, again. I just take stuff like that as a figure of speech unless it's said with real conviction.

When I say something with real conviction it comes from the depths of me. It's not even like talking shit when I'm mad...when I talk shit when I'm mad, I'm usually upset and not speaking from a firm, solid place.

You know to take me seriously when I'm relatively calm and speaking from a firm, solid place...not when I'm crying, shreiking, or whatever.

My ISTJ is actually somewhat comforted by this. He knows I get upset and say things but then get over it super quickly.

When it comes to food, I don't take people that seriously, though. Unless they seem truly disgusted.

Could be an E thing, could be a P thing. I thought it was because I'm such an FP.

 

[Santosha]

What I wonder is, how do you really KNOW that they've taken that strong stance?

It's too individual and contextual for a general rule of thumb. This is where Fi and Ti come in mighty hand for us, and why it's so dam important for the EP's to take time out and reflect. But usually, when you get into deeper discussions with them you'll tap into that moral code or thought system and over time you will start to see how they apply these constants to various circumstances. There is definately a pattern to EP's behavior that you can rely on, but sometimes you have to stand 100 feet back to find the pattern.

Here's an example. Those that know me well know that I have a strong moral code that prioritizes me helping out anyone is a crises mode. So If I've agreed to do dinner and a flick with my best buds, but at the last moment a different friend calls me up and needs help moving to get out of a bad relation and they have no one else- I help the friend. It appealed to the moral code. I suspect that the Ti users will operate the same, but with some kind of logical prioritizing that I don't understand.

As far as the in-the-moment fluff goes, just take it with a grain. Consider what is influencing the EP in. that. moment. What are they reading, watching, who are they engaging with? It really can be difficult.. but I think these things can help someone understand WHY EP's do and say what they do.

You always have to look at anytypes priorities to understand what they will do. The SJ's prioritize consistency and follow through, it maks them feel safe. You might think that they always show up for your birthday because they just love you THAT much, but nope.. its their priority on routine. An INFP will prioritize how they feel. They are only coming to your birthday party if they are in a good mood and feeel like it. Otherwise, they'll ask you to meet up another time. An ESFP might prioritize fun and adventure. They'll come to your birthday party if there is going to be dancing and kegs. Yes Yes, I know these are ridiculously stereotypical but the point is it all comes down to priorities. When you understand ones priorities, you'll understand what they'll do. most of the time. =P