Ah, I was thinking about things along these lines over the weekend, although I came to a bit of a different conclusion than the OP - I decided over the weekend that my enneagram plays a MUCH stronger role in my socialization ability/how I come across than my mbti type.
I compare myself to my INFJ friend, who is one of the most talkative people I know, who can talk about anything and everything, and who doesn't seem to have any social self-consciousness. She talks about herself a lot, and can monopolize conversation. (On the spectrum of E/I, she says as she's gotten older she's become more comfortable and isn't an extreme I like I am. lol. But anyway, she IS an I.) She's also an e2 so.
Compare her to myself (an e5 sp), and socially, it's almost like we're from different planets - even though cognitively we think about/approach things in the same way. We just appear quite different. I would be/am completely overshadowed by her irl. And socially she's MUCH more skilled than I. I'd sum it up as: she's great at getting other people to know who SHE is, in conjunction to who they are & building on that conversation and relationship; I'm great at getting to know who OTHER people are, but other people don't have any idea who I am - thus I'm not in essence building a relationship.
My strengths? I think I'm very good at HEARING people, and good at getting other people to talk/share of themselves. Making people feel that I acknowledge their existence and I want to get to know them. I may pointedly direct my attention to someone who's not talking (say if we're in a group), ask something of them, listen. Create those little 1:1 moments - more personalized. That's really my only way of 'connecting' to people -- in a 1:1 way, briefly, snatching those opportunities. And I get the sense that people don't get this often... almost that they're not even 'acknowledged' or understood in this way by their own family or their own S.O... there's just something in the eye contact/ way they respond that gives me the sense that they aren't often HEARD by anyone.
I'm also pretty good at the 1-liner comments / summations. That's my other 'role' in groups. I don't talk at length or espouse my opinions, but I'll be the insert-random-but-relevant-humor-or-comment girl.
My weaknesses? Basically... that I am so quiet and that I really should NOT be in any formal chit-chatty/non-activity-based group setting; I am not only usually uncomfortable, but I end up wondering the entire time what purpose there is for my being there because I pretty much only operate, verbally, in a 1:1 way and I don't speak to groups, so I'm quiet/a lump the entire time. I feel REALLY deficient in group social settings. BUT conversely, I also 'navigate' them in the sense that I'm able to read the overall group well and also can tell when individuals in the group are uncomfortable/offended/what have you. I get the sense that I'm well-liked, and I can get along with people, but I'm socially retarded when it comes to talking, and my introversion very easily dips into the realm of being unhealthy -- the whole e5 sp thing. I'm so accustomed to being in my own head that I 'forget' to get out of it sometimes.
I'm also pretty selective with the people I am interested in, so beyond initial inquiries/chatting, will tend to disengage quickly if I realize I don't care for someones' personality or we have absolutely nothing in common.
Other weakness: inability to provide a succinct bullet point list in this thread.
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