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Type my son

Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
My husband and I are very concerned about our 10 year old son. He has several learning issues and he doesn't seem to enjoy or want many friends. He also is grumpy a great deal of the time. We don't know if we should be concerned about him - ie take him to counseling. Since he has been this way his whole life, I am wondering if it is just his natural personality. So I thought understanding his type might be useful. I have my own guess, but I would like to hear from others.

He has never enjoyed physical affection.
He is a great strategist. Even though he does poorly on most school work, he can beat adults at games like chess and Risk.
He is very skeptical about commercials and people telling him things in general. He tends to think that people are liars.
He complains about being bored constantly, but doesn't have any specific interests.
He enjoys camping/fishing type activities, board games and video games (he especially likes the games that have you build a medieval castle and village and then attack other castles).
He doesn't seem to have compassion or understanding of other people's feelings, but occasionally he will strongly defend someone who is being bullied or picked on or being treated unjustly.
He loves to argue/debate.
He tends to avoid any type of work, but will work really had to get a reward he wants or to get money to buy a video game.
He has a very strong reaction to smells and noise.
When he was a baby, the only thing that would calm him down was if I sang to him. He wasn't calmed down by rocking or being held like other babies.

Any thoughts?
 

Illmatic

New member
Joined
Feb 19, 2011
Messages
240
INTJ No doubt.

You're son at 10 is how i always wanted to be ha..i envy him.
 

Hive

hypersane
Joined
Nov 25, 2010
Messages
1,233
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
INTJ, perhaps 6w5 or 5w6? Selfpreservation.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
My husband and I are very concerned about our 10 year old son. He has several learning issues and he doesn't seem to enjoy or want many friends. He also is grumpy a great deal of the time. We don't know if we should be concerned about him - ie take him to counseling. Since he has been this way his whole life, I am wondering if it is just his natural personality. So I thought understanding his type might be useful. I have my own guess, but I would like to hear from others.

1. INTJ
2. INTP

He has never enjoyed physical affection.

Sounds more Fi than Fe.

He is a great strategist. Even though he does poorly on most school work, he can beat adults at games like chess and Risk.

NT

He is very skeptical about commercials and people telling him things in general. He tends to think that people are liars.

INTx skepticism.

He complains about being bored constantly, but doesn't have any specific interests.

INTx. Our minds have to be active - we have to be engaged in something interesting at all times. At 10, he may have no idea what he likes yet. He's still trying to figure that out. Ask him what he would like to try - leave it up to him. Summer swimming lessons? Little League baseball? A computer club or group? A new lego set, be left alone in your room all summer to build things with it? Learn to play an instrument? Some new books? Want to write a story? Subscription to a really good science magazine? Go to a science fair for adults? Get him involved in something, but let him choose which things he'd like to try - and if he shows interest in something, support him all the way - it could be the one big thing that ends up captivating his interests.

He enjoys camping/fishing type activities, board games and video games (he especially likes the games that have you build a medieval castle and village and then attack other castles).

Hmmm. Camping/fishing could be any type. Building things = NT

He doesn't seem to have compassion or understanding of other people's feelings, but occasionally he will strongly defend someone who is being bullied or picked on or being treated unjustly.

Young NT.

He loves to argue/debate.

NT

He tends to avoid any type of work, but will work really had to get a reward he wants or to get money to buy a video game.

P??

He has a very strong reaction to smells and noise.

Possible HSP. Highly sensitive person.
http://www.hsperson.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highly_sensitive_person

When he was a baby, the only thing that would calm him down was if I sang to him. He wasn't calmed down by rocking or being held like other babies.

ISFP?? :D

All things considered, I'd say INTx.
 

Hive

hypersane
Joined
Nov 25, 2010
Messages
1,233
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
He doesn't seem to have compassion or understanding of other people's feelings, but occasionally he will strongly defend someone who is being bullied or picked on or being treated unjustly.
That's more Fi than anything. Definetely INTJ over INTP.
 

21%

You have a choice!
Joined
May 15, 2009
Messages
3,224
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I think INTJ :)

But -- it seems like he isn't having fun at school. Maybe he needs more friends with similar interests? Maybe he feels lonely and misunderstood?
 

jixmixfix

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
4,278
My husband and I are very concerned about our 10 year old son. He has several learning issues and he doesn't seem to enjoy or want many friends. He also is grumpy a great deal of the time. We don't know if we should be concerned about him - ie take him to counseling. Since he has been this way his whole life, I am wondering if it is just his natural personality. So I thought understanding his type might be useful. I have my own guess, but I would like to hear from others.

He has never enjoyed physical affection.
He is a great strategist. Even though he does poorly on most school work, he can beat adults at games like chess and Risk.
He is very skeptical about commercials and people telling him things in general. He tends to think that people are liars.
He complains about being bored constantly, but doesn't have any specific interests.
He enjoys camping/fishing type activities, board games and video games (he especially likes the games that have you build a medieval castle and village and then attack other castles).
He doesn't seem to have compassion or understanding of other people's feelings, but occasionally he will strongly defend someone who is being bullied or picked on or being treated unjustly.
He loves to argue/debate.
He tends to avoid any type of work, but will work really had to get a reward he wants or to get money to buy a video game.
He has a very strong reaction to smells and noise.
When he was a baby, the only thing that would calm him down was if I sang to him. He wasn't calmed down by rocking or being held like other babies.

Any thoughts?

He sounds like an INTJ, INTP or even ISTP. emneagram 5. Kinda sounds like me when I was a kid to be honest, except I didn't like to argue.
 

Mal12345

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2011
Messages
14,532
MBTI Type
IxTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
"He has never enjoyed physical affection." -
That seems very Ti.

"He is a great strategist. Even though he does poorly on most school work, he can beat adults at games like chess and Risk." -

Sensing and Thinking.

"He is very skeptical about commercials and people telling him things in general. He tends to think that people are liars." -

Sensors are skeptical types.

"He complains about being bored constantly, but doesn't have any specific interests." -

Sounds kind of like a Perceiver.

"He enjoys camping/fishing type activities, board games and video games (he especially likes the games that have you build a medieval castle and village and then attack other castles)."

That's the Strategist element again. Some might say that's an NTJ trait, but that depends. It may be STJ also.

"He doesn't seem to have compassion or understanding of other people's feelings, but occasionally he will strongly defend someone who is being bullied or picked on or being treated unjustly." -

I understand where someone's Fi idea is coming from here. However, that depends on why he sometimes defends bullied kids.

"He loves to argue/debate."

Possibly a Thinking type.

"He tends to avoid any type of work, but will work really had to get a reward he wants or to get money to buy a video game."

Sounds like a Perceiver.

"He has a very strong reaction to smells and noise."

Sensing and Perceiving.

"When he was a baby, the only thing that would calm him down was if I sang to him. He wasn't calmed down by rocking or being held like other babies."

Studies on babies indicate that this, unfortunately, signifies a low-level IQ. Do you have any IQ information on him?

My call is either ISTP or ESTP, based on the personality information you gave and not the IQ or baby-hood behaviors.
 

Mal12345

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"Strong reaction to smells and sounds." I would call that introverted.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
i'm with unsung, INTJ, 5w6 or 6w5, sp-first. seeming not to have compassion but then standing up to bullies is probably hidden Fi - maybe INTP / inf Fe.

does he seem unhappy, overall? he has expressed boredom. no specific interests but he likes to debate? that sounds like an interest. can you find a local debate team, maybe? local chess competitions. more things to engage his mind. if he's INTx 5/6 like it sounds, he probably finds a lot of normal stuff boring and stupid. my little brother is INTP 5 and is like that. oh hey, what about music? that's a really intellectual thing, and music calmed him as a child. a soft, gentle instrument like piano or acoustic guitar could be engaging.
 

Mal12345

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"Strong reaction to smells and sounds." I would call that introverted.

And 6w5. The 6's are the skeptics of the Enneagram because they are defenders of ideas. As for defending against the bullies, in his case, he is more of an intellectual defender, thus the 5 wing. Occasionally sticking up for a bullied kid is a general 6 trait, I think.
 

Mal12345

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i'm with unsung, INTJ, 5w6 or 6w5, sp-first. seeming not to have compassion but then standing up to bullies is probably hidden Fi - maybe INTP / inf Fe.

I don't understand a thing you just said. :blush:
 

Hive

hypersane
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"He has never enjoyed physical affection." -
That seems very Ti.
What? If anything, it seems like selfpreservation first.

"He is very skeptical about commercials and people telling him things in general. He tends to think that people are liars." -

Sensors are skeptical types.
Hardly unique for sensors, but very prominent in enneagram type six. I struggle to see how skepticism is equal to sensation.

i'm with unsung, INTJ, 5w6 or 6w5, sp-first. seeming not to have compassion but then standing up to bullies is probably hidden Fi - maybe INTP / inf Fe.
I'd most definetely say it is Fi. Inferior functions appear under stressful situations and manifests in a bad way, especially when you're very young. Doesn't seem to be the case here.
 

Mal12345

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What? If anything, it seems like selfpreservation first.


Hardly unique for sensors, but very prominent in enneagram type six. I struggle to see how skepticism is equal to sensation.


I'd most definetely say it is Fi. Inferior functions appear under stressful situations and manifests in a bad way, especially when you're very young. Doesn't seem to be the case here.

I can see where you're coming from.

Edit - for example, the introverted thinker (as with ISTP and INTP) is a skeptical thinker.

However, he is ISTP 6w5. The sensing types I've known, whether ISTP or ISTJ, have been skeptics. One page I just googled states that the ISFJ is the "loyal skeptic." (Loyal because of FJ.) http://whichmbtitype.wordpress.com/tag/loyal-skeptic/

I'm afraid I use a much different formula than you to decide these things, a lot of it based on experience, or things I read in real books on typology (not internet pages) years before there was a wide-spread internet.
 

Hive

hypersane
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I can see where you're coming from. However, he is ISTP 6w5. The sensing types I've known, whether ISTP or ISTJ, have been skeptics. One page I just googled states that the ISFJ is the "loyal skeptic." (Loyal because of FJ.) http://whichmbtitype.wordpress.com/tag/loyal-skeptic/

I'm afraid I use a much different formula than you to decide these things, a lot of it based on experience, or things I read in real books on typology (not internet pages) years before there was a wide-spread internet.
That page only stated that ISFJ's are most likely to be enneagram six.

And please elaborate how sensation and skepticism correlates and how avoiding physical affection is a Ti trait.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
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Messages
9,625
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ENFP
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5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
INTJ 5, 8 or 1w9 sp/sx. the sticking up for other kids is the softer Fi/Sx side of his personality that comes out a little less frequently. of the possible enneatypes just listed, I think he's an 8. he's grumpy because people are holding him back and not letting him be his true conqueror self :D

Edit: looking at the OP again, I could also see INFP being a possibility
 

Elfboy

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sx/sp
I can see where you're coming from.

Edit - for example, the introverted thinker (as with ISTP and INTP) is a skeptical thinker.

However, he is ISTP 6w5. The sensing types I've known, whether ISTP or ISTJ, have been skeptics. One page I just googled states that the ISFJ is the "loyal skeptic." (Loyal because of FJ.) http://whichmbtitype.wordpress.com/tag/loyal-skeptic/

I'm afraid I use a much different formula than you to decide these things, a lot of it based on experience, or things I read in real books on typology (not internet pages) years before there was a wide-spread internet.

unless S now stands for strategic, this kid is Intuitive as hell. he spends his free time in his room creating master plans and living in an imaginary world of castles and medieval knights. S children typically don't engage in imaginative games that much.
 

Hive

hypersane
Joined
Nov 25, 2010
Messages
1,233
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ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
unless S now stands for strategic, this kid is Intuitive as hell. he spends his free time in his room creating master plans and living in an imaginary world of castles and medieval knights. S children typically don't engage in imaginative games that much.
"He also enjoys fishing and camping. N children typically don't engage in outdoor/physical activities."

or wait..

It is only stated that he enjoys strategic games, not that he lives completely inside his own mind in a imaginary medieval world.
 
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