Is introversion really a good trait?

[Elfboy]

um, everyone cares about being rejected. An INTJ is just more likely to rationalize it by saying "I don't need friends anyway, I'll take over the world on my own!" instead of breaking down and killing him/herself.

actually, some people genuinely don't care about being rejected. not to put you in a box or anything, but lots of Fe users have a hard time grasping this.

 

[Resonance]

actually, some people genuinely don't care about being rejected. not to put you in a box or anything, but lots of Fe users have a hard time grasping this.

they're lying

not everyone cares about being rejected by any random person, but everyone has at least 1 person whom they'd be devastated if they were rejected by them.

 

[rav3n]

um, everyone cares about being rejected.

No one enjoys being rejected but some are less likely, if at all, to allow it to impact much to none, on self-esteem.

 

[Elfboy]

they're lying

not everyone cares about being rejected by any random person, but everyone has at least 1 person whom they'd be devastated if they were rejected by them.

I concede to you on this point, but this is an instance of intimate rejection, not social rejection.

 

[Xenon]

they're lying

not everyone cares about being rejected by any random person, but everyone has at least 1 person whom they'd be devastated if they were rejected by them.

Yeah, and the reason for the rejection matters too, at least to me.

There are things people would judge me for that I can brush off fairly easily, because I think they're stupid reasons to judge someone. There are other things I'm a lot touchier about, mostly things I'm insecure about myself.

 

[Resonance]

No one enjoys being rejected but some are less likely, if at all, to allow it to impact much to none, on self-esteem.

True, but I think this is more a matter of maturity than type or even introversion-extroversion.

I concede to you on this point, but this is an instance of intimate rejection, not social rejection.

ahhh sorry, I lost track of the context. You're right, social rejection is different, but it's still a matter of maturity I think. An isfj for example may not care if he's rejected by a person he doesn't know, only if it's someone he respects. And an extrovert might just take rejection in stride, since they probably experience it regularly.

Yeah, and the reason for the rejection matters too, at least to me.

There are things people would judge me for that I can brush off fairly easily, because I think they're stupid reasons to judge someone. There are other things I'm a lot touchier about, mostly things I'm insecure about myself.

lol, yes, it's not hard to find an INTJ for example who will refuse to admit that they even have emotions, much less insecurities, but their behaviour paints a very different picture

 

[Thalassa]

um, everyone cares about being rejected. An INTJ is just more likely to rationalize it by saying "I don't need friends anyway, I'll take over the world on my own!" instead of breaking down and killing him/herself.

I agree with this. Rejected INTJs just turn into fucking assholes. There are, in fact, very well-adjusted ones, so I'm pretty sure they really do care, but their defense mechanism is to become cold evil geniuses when they find people disappointing.

 

[Such Irony]

actually, some people genuinely don't care about being rejected. not to put you in a box or anything, but lots of Fe users have a hard time grasping this.

It's not that Fi users don't care. I think the difference is that an Fi user is more inclined to place their personal values first, even if those values prove to be unpopular and lead to rejection by others. This doesn't mean the Fi user doesn't care about rejected. They might care very deeply but if there's an important value at stake, they may feel like they should let their values override the relationship. I don't think Fe users are nearly as likely to do that.

No one enjoys being rejected but some are less likely, if at all, to allow it to impact much to none, on self-esteem.

Exactly.

Yeah, and the reason for the rejection matters too, at least to me.

There are things people would judge me for that I can brush off fairly easily, because I think they're stupid reasons to judge someone. There are other things I'm a lot touchier about, mostly things I'm insecure about myself.

This.

 

[Ginkgo]

I am an introvert and I recently read a book on the good traits of introverts - you know, they have deeper relationships, etc.

But I have always felt like I was just introverted because I am terrified of being rejected by people. It's easier to be alone than to risk being rejected all the time. So I have seen it as an undesirable trait and I have worked hard on gaining social skills to overcome that undesirability.

Is introversion truly a gift/positive attribute? Should I embrace it, or keep working on being more social?

Well there's a difference between introversion and shyness. Introversion is more of an unconscious tendency to reflect, rather than engage the outside world. Shyness is much more conscious, to the point where it becomes painful for some individuals.

I think that if your life demands that you extend yourself to engage the world, then go for it.

Introversion is just introversion. It's going to have it's own drawbacks and advantages depending on a persons' personal experiences and how they're interpreted.

Furthermore, it's possible to be introverted but still be social. Just not necessarily in the stereotypical extraverted image.

 

[InvisibleJim]

I agree with this. Rejected INTJs just turn into fucking assholes. There are, in fact, very well-adjusted ones, so I'm pretty sure they really do care, but their defense mechanism is to become cold evil geniuses when they find people disappointing.

I was amused by a similar statement on ENFP forum. The answer is that when it comes to Pe-Ji types you can't add more water into an overfilled cup. With Pi-Je types if you can take the lid of the mug you can fill up the remaining volume.

 

[shoshana]

exactly. This person is creating his/her own problem.

I don't think the person is creating a problem... I think they are curious as to what the implications of introversion is and how it is perceived by others.

i believe many people want to test mental boundaries that are in existence. this person might see activities that are normally associated with extroversion as a means of healthy experimentation (i live with an introvert who likes to go to parties with me every so often for this reason).

i agree that introversion is a neutral trait, however, there shouldn't be any reason to misconstrue curiosity for self-deprecation.

 

[Craft]

Yeah, I erred by hearing a different idea of introvert/extrovert. He/She was probably talking about extremities.