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Js and Time

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Glycerine

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Is it "normal" to get mad when people are almost 2+ hours late to something without contacting you about being late or not being able to make it or is it mostly an anal J trait? I take it personally if people don't tell me because I hate having my time wasted.
 

Jaguar

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2 hours is beyond late. That's someone being a jerk. (Or they got arrested for yelling at a cop and they're at the police station.) Lol.
 
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Glycerine

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I don't know. I just get furious about it. 30 minutes is allowable though in my mind, an hour is pushing it unless the person tells me.
 
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Anew Leaf

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Is it "normal" to get mad when people are almost 2+ hours late to something without contacting you about being late or not being able to make it or is it mostly an anal J trait? I take it personally if people don't tell me because I hate having my time wasted.

I am pretty P when it comes to timing... I sort of think in "increments" that are more akin to blocks of time than individual minutes. ;)

However, having said that... If I am expected to be somewhere at a certain time, and I am running late, I will call or text my friend saying that I am running late and the estimated time frame I think I will be there at.

running late to me is 15 minutes or more.
 

Mal12345

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Is it "normal" to get mad when people are almost 2+ hours late to something without contacting you about being late or not being able to make it or is it mostly an anal J trait? I take it personally if people don't tell me because I hate having my time wasted.

Js, at least some of them, have an issue with time. But it may not be related to others being late. Of course, someone being late and not contacting is rude to anybody, not just Js. But what I see with Js is overscheduling, or overbooking their limited schedule without making allowances, with the belief that something that takes 45 minutes to accomplish should only require 15 minutes.
 
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Glycerine

Guest
I am pretty P when it comes to timing... I sort of think in "increments" that are more akin to blocks of time than individual minutes. ;)

However, having said that... If I am expected to be somewhere at a certain time, and I am running late, I will call or text my friend saying that I am running late and the estimated time frame I think I will be there at.

running late to me is 15 minutes or more.

I promise I am not like your ISFJ friend about time. lol
 
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Glycerine

Guest
Js, at least some of them, have an issue with time. But it may not be related to others being late. Of course, someone being late and not contacting is rude to anybody, not just Js. But what I see with Js is overscheduling, or overbooking their limited schedule without making allowances, with the belief that something that takes 45 minutes to accomplish should only require 15 minutes.

Yeah I could see that but for example, if you are doing a group activity at 7 and have ALL the supplies, don't expect me to be happy w/ you when you call me at 8:40 asking me "what's up?" lol
 
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Anew Leaf

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I promise I am not like your ISFJ friend about time. lol

haha! S + J can be a potent mix ;)

Yeah I could see that but for example, if you are doing a group activity at 7 and have ALL the supplies, don't expect me to be happy w/ you when you call me at 8:40 asking me "what's up?" lol

I agree here too. It is bad manners, rudeness, etc to be that late. Most of the time my plans with friends are sort of the:

hey let's have some dinner together... come any time after 3 pm.... we'll eat around 5.... see you when you get there!

So sometimes I may show up at 3, and others at 4:30.
 
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Anew Leaf

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I give dinner parties about 3-5 times a year. I tell people to come anytime after 1 pm... that we will eat approximately 2, and go from there. Everyone was there except for our resident INTP who is never on time... so we waited another 15 minutes and finally started eating. At about 2:45 he called to tell me he was on his way just then because he had just woken up... and then hilariously said we should start eating without him. good P times.
 
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ThatGirl

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A good friend of mine was two hours late once, and I never spoke to her again....

I really need to stop doing that. :/
 

cascadeco

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Is it "normal" to get mad when people are almost 2+ hours late to something without contacting you about being late or not being able to make it or is it mostly an anal J trait? I take it personally if people don't tell me because I hate having my time wasted.

I read this and thought... why would it be considered *acceptable* to be that late without having the decency to let you know? Do they think you wouldn't have been doing other things with your time had you known? That would irritate the crap out of me.
 

Mal12345

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It sounds like this thread is about talking about our reactions to late people. My reaction - more and more tired and bored as I waited, and a little irritated.
 

rav3n

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Depends on the circumstance. When it comes to parties of any kind, our group is totally relaxed, even if people are being fed since it's always buffet style. So someone arriving two hours or more late is fine.

If we're doing anything time reliant, 1/2 hour is okay. An hour late with no heads up call and they wouldn't find me at the meeting place.
 

Totenkindly

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Is it "normal" to get mad when people are almost 2+ hours late to something without contacting you about being late or not being able to make it or is it mostly an anal J trait? I take it personally if people don't tell me because I hate having my time wasted.

I am extremely P, and I typically can be 5-10 minutes late for casual get-togethers and whatever else... but two hours later without calling, texting, or e-mailing (esp considering how everyone has a cell phone) is beyond rude. I give people a little flex myself, since I know how I can be; but after 10-15 minutes without any explanation, that's when I call them myself, and if they don't answer, I start wondering whether they've had an emergency, forgot the meeting, or are just inconsiderate jerks.

I'd find something to occupy myself, and after 30 minutes, decide they weren't coming and go do something else.

Note: I don't know if I'd be different if I hadn't been raised/surrounded by J's, in an environment where etiquette was very important and there are just some things you don't do to people. I see it empathetic, though; I can imagine what someone else might feel like if I stood them up and/or potentially worried them with an unexplained absence, and I don't want to waste their time, so...
 

CuriousFeeling

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If someone is running 2+ hours late, it grates on my nerves. Quite disconcerting. Even a half an hour late makes me feel like I am on pins and needles. If you are running late, the least you can do is call and let me know that you will be delayed and give me a reason for tardiness. If you don't think you can make it within the allocated time that we are supposed to meet, then cancel and reschedule the meeting.

Seriously, I get anal retentive about lateness. :p
 

Totenkindly

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curiousfeeling said:
If you don't think you can make it within the allocated time that we are supposed to meet, then cancel and reschedule the meeting.

Exactly, that's the thing: It's okay if something came up and we need to reschedule, but a reluctance/refusal to call and reschedule on their part wastes my time and leaves me feeling I can't trust them.
 

entropie

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I have issues getting somewhere on time when I am not in busy mode aka relaxed. On a normal day in the week I meet with a lot of people at work and am busy going from A to B the whole week. I am famous for my punctuality already and I tend to use the spelling "ten minutes before the time is a soldiers punctuality" which actually rhymes in german :D.

Yet when I am on my freetime, like when I was visiting my Mum for Easter; I told her I'll be there in the noon. I remember her asking a specific time and I said 1 o clock. Yea I forgot that and arrived 3 o clock what of course sucks cause she's preparing dinner.

So that means I am pretty awesome when it comes to remembering stuff and meeting deadlines, but it needs me to be very concentrated and tense. When I let loose and become more relaxed and myself things dont work. Kinda sucky, yet again with my current weekly time schedule which is insane, I think I have the right to be a little late in my freetime :/
 

Mal12345

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If someone is running 2+ hours late, it grates on my nerves. Quite disconcerting. Even a half an hour late makes me feel like I am on pins and needles. If you are running late, the least you can do is call and let me know that you will be delayed and give me a reason for tardiness. If you don't think you can make it within the allocated time that we are supposed to meet, then cancel and reschedule the meeting.

Seriously, I get anal retentive about lateness. :p

Why are you on pins and needles? I'm not calling you on your emotional response, just wondering.
 

InvisibleJim

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Is it "normal" to get mad when people are almost 2+ hours late to something without contacting you about being late or not being able to make it or is it mostly an anal J trait? I take it personally if people don't tell me because I hate having my time wasted.

I stab people who are 2 hours late with a sword.
 

tinker683

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If after 30 minutes you haven't shown up, and I can't reach you at all, I'm gone and if the person doesn't apologize or explain themselves to me afterwards, I blacklist them and avoid them thereon in.
 
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