• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Why dont you ever smile?

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
I am so tired of hearing people say this to me... or my other favorites

"are you mad/sad?" or "why so serious" which has become ever more popular since Batman... sigh.

Look... I'll frickin smile when I feel like smiling. I dont walk around with a smile on my face all the time, honestly I dont know why, I think because its tiring, I have literally TRIED to do that, and my face begins to quiver and and my eyes eventually begin to water. And what the hell am I smiling at anyway? I am fairly stoic anyway, and to save time, no I am not excited, not excited that I am graduating college, got a new job, nephew was born, am going on a roller coaster, lost my virginity, etc etc... I dont get excited. I do occasionally get a quick tingle inside if I think up something clever or I put my mind to something and see it finished and accomplished, but other then that, nothing.

Does anyone else feel this way? Check in with your MBTI while you're at it.
 

Thisica

New member
Joined
Feb 19, 2011
Messages
383
MBTI Type
NiTe
Enneagram
5w4
I don't make much fuss about it. People know that I don't, so they don't pester me over it. However, I can secretly smile when I get some insight about the world. It's like a joke that no one else but yourself understands :)

Oh, and I'm INTJ with relatively strong Ni [but also Ne...] and Te (but I usually refrain from saying what cognitive functions I'm "good" at, since all of them are used anyway.).
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
Look... I'll frickin smile when I feel like smiling. I dont walk around with a smile on my face all the time...its tiring...And what the hell am I smiling at anyway? I am fairly stoic anyway, and to save time, no I am not excited... I dont get excited. I do occasionally get a quick tingle inside if I think up something clever or I put my mind to something and see it finished and accomplished, but other then that, nothing.

Yup, that's about it for me as well. INFJ.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
This happens to me too. It seems to be a pretty common INFJ experience. And then I get odd looks when I occasionally smile and laugh to myself at random funny thoughts. Though I am making a conscious effort to try and look just a tiny bit happier in day to day life...but some days it's more effort than it's worth.

I do get excited about things and can be very animated then. I also have a generally friendly and smiling manner when I talk to other people. But I know that I look fairly serious and even sad when on my own, walking down the street etc.

My default expression seems to be the thousand-yard stare...
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I don't make much fuss about it. People know that I don't, so they don't pester me over it. However, I can secretly smile when I get some insight about the world. It's like a joke that no one else but yourself understands :)

Oh, and I'm INTJ with relatively strong Ni [but also Ne...] and Te (but I usually refrain from saying what cognitive functions I'm "good" at, since all of them are used anyway.).

I think INTJs smile a lot, just not usually when people are around. in fact, they can have straight up mad scientist moments alone in their rooms and often let out a crazed, maniacal laugh that is destinctly INTJ
 

Xenon

(blankpages)
Joined
Oct 5, 2009
Messages
832
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
Huh. I'm not exactly bubbly and perky, but I don't get people telling me to smile all that often. Could there be something specifically about INFJs that gives a gloomy or 'too serious' impression?
 

INTP

Active member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
7,803
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx
i dont get anyone say this to me, even tho im an INTP. but im a weirdo for an INTP because i smile quite alot, i smile when im with other people(not all the time tho), when im alone(like now thinking about this) and when im around strangers(in a bus for example) and think of something funny(i try to resist it tho, because it looks weird, but what looks even more weird is that when im trying to resist it too hard and barely can)
 

Viridian

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
3,036
MBTI Type
IsFJ
The worst part is when I smile or laugh, then the very same people who asked me why I looked so downcast ask me "What are you so happy about?" (not in a negative way, mind you). WTH? Are you the Mood Police, dad?
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I've had the opposite problem it seems. People will walk up to me and say things "what are you smiling about?" or "you look really happy" even when I'm not. Maybe I just subconsciously smile when nervous or stressed.
 
G

garbage

Guest
I've come across people who complained that they can't read me. I've also had people tell me to quit smirking. Both groups can go to hell.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I've had the opposite problem it seems. People will walk up to me and say things "what are you smiling about?" or "you look really happy" even when I'm not. Maybe I just subconsciously smile when nervous or stressed.

Oh, that does happen to me occasionally too. I tend to get the "why so sad" from strangers, but sometimes friends or acquaintances think I look superbly happy when I'm feeling anything but. Of course, there is something to be said for looking fab even when you feel like crap ;)

And of course, there is the also common INFJ experience of having strangers glom onto you and pour out their hearts. I'm never sure what they're attracted to, though I suspect it's the calm vibe, which almost everyone thinks I give off.

I think bologna's assessment is spot on.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
when I'm content people ask me what's wrong. When I'm not content no one bothers me and than when I explode they're like we had no idea! it's like really?!
 

King sns

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
6,714
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I am so tired of hearing people say this to me... or my other favorites

"are you mad/sad?" or "why so serious" which has become ever more popular since Batman... sigh.

Look... I'll frickin smile when I feel like smiling. I dont walk around with a smile on my face all the time, honestly I dont know why, I think because its tiring, I have literally TRIED to do that, and my face begins to quiver and and my eyes eventually begin to water. And what the hell am I smiling at anyway? I am fairly stoic anyway, and to save time, no I am not excited, not excited that I am graduating college, got a new job, nephew was born, am going on a roller coaster, lost my virginity, etc etc... I dont get excited. I do occasionally get a quick tingle inside if I think up something clever or I put my mind to something and see it finished and accomplished, but other then that, nothing.

Does anyone else feel this way? Check in with your MBTI while you're at it.

Yes. I hate this! I smile often enough, but as soon as I stop smiling for a period of time, someone picks up on it without fail. I'm thinking, "man, do I have to smile 24/7?"
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
Yes. I hate this! I smile often enough, but as soon as I stop smiling for a period of time, someone picks up on it without fail. I'm thinking, "man, do I have to smile 24/7?"

as an ESFP yes, you are it's written in the law. duh!
 

Aquarelle

Starcrossed Seafarer
Joined
Jun 16, 2010
Messages
3,144
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
"are you mad/sad?" or "why so serious" which has become ever more popular since Batman... sigh.

I get asked this a lot too, or "What's wrong?" when nothing whatsoever is wrong, I'm just lost in thought and probably have a serious expression on my face. I do express my emotions and I think I'm a pretty cheerful and smily person, but smiling isn't my "neutral" expression... a neutral expression is my neutral expression! And what the heck is wrong with being serious, anyway??

This happens to me too. It seems to be a pretty common INFJ experience. And then I get odd looks when I occasionally smile and laugh to myself at random funny thoughts. Though I am making a conscious effort to try and look just a tiny bit happier in day to day life...but some days it's more effort than it's worth.

I do get excited about things and can be very animated then. I also have a generally friendly and smiling manner when I talk to other people. But I know that I look fairly serious and even sad when on my own, walking down the street etc.

My default expression seems to be the thousand-yard stare...
Actually this is pretty much me as well. I love laughing/smiling to myself at something funny I just think of, or something I see and find funny that no one else finds funny!
 

Stigmata

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 16, 2011
Messages
8,779
I smile in the event I laugh, but that's about it. Similar to the OP, I was asked those types of questions as well. Basically, for me, it boils down to not faking emotion for the sake of putting those around me at ease. If a smile doesn't present itself naturally, I'm not going to put any effort presenting an artificial one.
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
8
Sometimes smiling too much will result in the same reactions as well. Im generally a bubbly, happy person.. but sometimes, I can be content and chilled out for the day. :shrug: It gets to the point where if I am not smiling people yell at me, like it is expected of me, instead of something that naturally happens. I think this is more annoying than the times I was told I never smiled back in middle school.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
The answer to this is everytime you see them flash them a dopey/menacing smile, then lick your lips.

I promise they won't bother you then.
 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
Messages
3,031
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Hahahaha. If you were to look at me, you wouldn't see me smiling... especially not all the time. It doesn't feel natural.

The only time I do smile or laugh is when an occasion brings it (e.g. something like a cute little kid/dog or someone was joking and I end up laughing [there is more that brings me to smile...].)
 
Top