What's the difference between a shy extrovert and an introvert?

[Anew Leaf]

Saturned, are you certain your not an E?

In the sense that your E/I preference is not neccessarily decided by observable behaviors, like being social and engaging, but by the psychic energy, and external focus.

oh dear god.... a type indentity crisis!! isn't that what all ENFPs do?!?! hehe!

I am not sure. I grew up as an only child so I had to fend for myself as far as being "entertained" went. I live alone by choice now, and I am pretty happy with it except these nagging times when I wish I had a roommate or something..... so I could *gasp* spend time with someone. I rarely get bored though.. there is always something I can do to occupy my time. A project, a book, a nap, a walk, a gaze at the clouds moment.

When I took the MBTI test when I was 18, I remember testing fairly high on the introvert scale. I primarily get my energy from being alone, but after I leave a party with friends I feel quite exhilierated and energized. After a long day at work (like right now) I am feeling low energy and that I want a nap. But after about 10 minutes of being alone at home, I know that I will be feeling more peppy.

Now I feel all topsy - turvy.

!

I might have to dig up my old MBTI sheet and see what I scored as.... I think the only "slight" preference on my sheet was the P/J scale. I scored a 15 on the P side. (52 was the extreme for either side, and 0 was the middle area.... My dad took it and scored a 51 on Thinking.)

 

[Anew Leaf]

Eh...you could be a natural extravert. I'm not sure if what you're describing is the same thing as "springing into action" without thought though. It sounds you handled those situations perfectly, and you were very controlled and deliberate. The stress response thing I quoted was talking specifically about reactions that aren't necessarily voluntary, and whether they tend to be uncontrolled action or paralysis.

I see what you mean now.

I am not sure. I just know that if there is an actual, factual crisis going on, I can take charge and deal with what's going on. What I can't handle is when there is a crisis in my mind.... that paralyzes me into complete shutdown and inaction mode. Which I attribute to the fact that I need to boost my self-confidence a bit, stop thinking about issues in black and white, and get some gumption.

I could just be closer to the E side of things now than I used to be. Can people change types? I know they are preferences.... but they still seem as ingrained as DNA to me at times.

 

[Thalassa]

Some people swear I am an extrovert according to how I approach situations, though I have noticed socializing is a use it or lose it quality. Meaning the more I hang out with people the better I get at it an more extroverted and confident I become, while the less I hang out with people the more shy and less likely I am to want to socialize at all. I can easily fall into my introverted world never to even think about sticking my head out.

Oddly enough my (what I have typed as INFP) friend will admit to getting antsy when left to himself for too long and swears a healthy social life is very good for him....

Not what I would expect from your typical introvert.

ENTJs are not necessarily socially focused. They can be, but because of Te dominance even if they have an outward focus it is object or task focused.

You are so not an INTx. I think your denial is very similar to my own in that regard (thinking I was INFx). Just because you like time to yourself/solitude/reflection et al often just means you're an ENxx and not an ENFJ (Fe dominance lends itself more to people). I think if you're loud, dominant, responsive, reactive, etc. you're an extrovert, no matter how much you need space or alone time.

 

[Santosha]

oh dear god.... a type indentity crisis!! isn't that what all ENFPs do?!?! hehe!

I am not sure. I grew up as an only child so I had to fend for myself as far as being "entertained" went. I live alone by choice now, and I am pretty happy with it except these nagging times when I wish I had a roommate or something..... so I could *gasp* spend time with someone. I rarely get bored though.. there is always something I can do to occupy my time. A project, a book, a nap, a walk, a gaze at the clouds moment.

When I took the MBTI test when I was 18, I remember testing fairly high on the introvert scale. I primarily get my energy from being alone, but after I leave a party with friends I feel quite exhilierated and energized. After a long day at work (like right now) I am feeling low energy and that I want a nap. But after about 10 minutes of being alone at home, I know that I will be feeling more peppy.

Now I feel all topsy - turvy.

!

I might have to dig up my old MBTI sheet and see what I scored as.... I think the only "slight" preference on my sheet was the P/J scale. I scored a 15 on the P side. (52 was the extreme for either side, and 0 was the middle area.... My dad took it and scored a 51 on Thinking.)

I'm sorry!
I wasn't even going to question that, because I think its slightly rude to question peoples types and believe people know themselves best! But I was curious because, as said before, your a fire-cracker and can almost appear ENFP-ish online lol!
Anyhow, I was raised only-child until 13, and I completely indentify with your energy descriptions. I am fairly close to the border on E/I though.. and have only come to accept my ENFP-ness because after careful consideration of NE vs FI dom, and questioning alot of my friends and family about it, I know I am Ne dom. I always look to the idea first, and think about how I feel about it later.

 

[Thalassa]

Eh...you could be a natural extravert. I'm not sure if what you're describing is the same thing as "springing into action" without thought though. It sounds you handled those situations perfectly, and you were very controlled and deliberate. The stress response thing I quoted was talking specifically about reactions that aren't necessarily voluntary, and whether they tend to be uncontrolled action or paralysis.





This sounds more like the impulsive action the page I quoted was talking about. Especially if you think you would have done the same if you'd been in serious danger. And the bolded...I have a very hard time picturing an introvert saying that. Everyone likely says or does the occasional impulsive thing, but if it happens all the time and it's a major flaw of yours, and if stress makes you more likely to act that way rather than less....yeah, I think that's a strong sign of extraversion.

That's actually one of the things I find most puzzling about extraverts. When I started reading about tertiary temptation and "loops", the idea of extraverted loops just blew my mind. The thought of someone always being compelled to act, and having to stop themselves and make themselves reflect more....I can hardly wrap my head around that. I try to imagine it, and it seems so completely bass-ackwards and bizarre to me.

@ the OP: Are there any reasons besides shyness that made you decide you were introverted? If feeling shy was the main thing that made you think 'I' for yourself, you're right to reconsider that now. I don't know you well enough to have an opinion on your type though.

Yeah, my reactivity and extraverted loops to keep responding, pursuing, and being almost compulsively compelled to act can be very beneficial to my well-being, success, and personal safety, but can make my life very pain in the realm of relationships sometimes.

I have learned that it is definitely not a way to deal with INTJs.

 

[guesswho]

What's the difference?

A shy extravert is more uncomfortable alone, he doesn't get anything from being alone, he doesn't "charge his batteries", he avoids his anxiety.

 

[Quinlan]

There are some people I know and they always need background noise, silence just isn't an option, they kind of perplex me, like they're afraid of hearing their own thoughts or something.

It makes me wonder what happens to them when they introspect, is their internal world a really horrible painful place? It almost seems like they're constantly trying to distract themself from some inner pain but I'm hugely speculating here.

 

[ThatGirl]

ENTJs are not necessarily socially focused. They can be, but because of Te dominance even if they have an outward focus it is object or task focused.

You are so not an INTx. I think your denial is very similar to my own in that regard (thinking I was INFx). Just because you like time to yourself/solitude/reflection et al often just means you're an ENxx and not an ENFJ (Fe dominance lends itself more to people). I think if you're loud, dominant, responsive, reactive, etc. you're an extrovert, no matter how much you need space or alone time.

Actually I typed myself XNtJ

The introverted extrovert, and probably more emo than your average NT.

 

[Thalassa]

There are some people I know and they always need background noise, silence just isn't an option, they kind of perplex me, like they're afraid of hearing their own thoughts or something.

It makes me wonder what happens to them when they introspect, is their internal world a really horrible painful place? It almost seems like they're constantly trying to distract themself from some inner pain but I'm hugely speculating here.

I'm not sure this phenomenon has anything to do with introversion or extroversion. I think people who need the television on all day long and while they sleep 'for company' might have a personality disorder. I do agree that some people are extremely extroverted and seem to constantly need contact (and I've always thought this was more common in ESxx types, since they are present in the here and now, or "the moment", their true surroundings more so than ENxx, but also some people are just more introverted or extroverted on a sliding scale due to simply being individuals whether ESxx or ENxx).

 

[Viridian]

There are some people I know and they always need background noise, silence just isn't an option, they kind of perplex me, like they're afraid of hearing their own thoughts or something.

It makes me wonder what happens to them when they introspect, is their internal world a really horrible painful place? It almost seems like they're constantly trying to distract themself from some inner pain but I'm hugely speculating here.

Interestingly, that's supposed to be the Seven's fixation in Enneagram theory - avoiding bad thoughts and feelings by seeking possibilities and experiences. That's why they're in the Head Triad.

/offtopicness

 

[wolfy]

A shy extravert is more uncomfortable alone, he doesn't get anything from being alone, he doesn't "charge his batteries", he avoids his anxiety.

I'm not like that. I can go both ways. Ambivert.

 

[strychnine]

It's difficult to see how you'd be energised by Fi. Se is a lot easier to see.

Yes. It's easy for me to see that Se drains me, though. Which means it isn't dominant. It can be hard to tell for SPs though. Actually maybe any Ps? I think Pe stands out whether it's dominant or auxiliary.

Do I need to start a ADD introvert or extrovert thread. If I am ADD then I am the laid back one, what is that called again?

Inattentive?

---------
I'd rather spend a week in the mansion alone, as long as there were enough entertaining things. If I were bored instead, I would rather have people around, so long as they are not the loud, partying, perpetually drunk types.

 

[wolfy]

Inattentive?

Yeah, if I was anything, it'd be inattentive.


In Jungian terms it's easy to see that I am Se dominant. A focus on emergent facts/experiences. At the same time I am pretty laid back I think, reserved maybe. It's funny how Kdude mentioned I reminded him of Kwai Chang Caine in Kung Fu. He is supposedly esfp and laid back. I was reading this thing about inferior functions. An esfp's inferior function is Ni which supposedly results in an undeveloped love of mysticism and so forth.

Lucky Kwai Chang Caine didn't know that.

 

[CrystalViolet]

Definitely introverted here, but I do get to the stage where I had enough alone time. I'm full and busting with energy, so I can appear extroverted like that because the batteries are charged, but I get befuzzled a lot quicker than an extrovert can (if some of them ever do) with too much external input. I do need external input. Too much alone time kicks in the si-fi loop, so I need to get out of my head quite regulary, get some more input so to speak.
A lot of people have trouble believing I'm an introvert though, because when I'm out , I'm really out, but for me if I'm out too much, I can't think straight. I have to go some where quiet to rearrange my thoughts. I think if people realised how much time I do spend by myself, and how much time I just spend thinking, I think they would comprehend more.

Wolfy, you sound a bit like my BFF (who is also ISFP). He gets really charged up when he attends dance class, even has that screen saver thing, and he is definitely more tolerant to being out than me. He's still introverted though, just not as much as me. He's really tactile too, like he loves loads of colour every where. Freakin' cushions every where of every nice feeling material imaginable, and loves, loves music. He's greedy for sensory input all the time. I could see why it could be hard to tell if youare introverted or extroverted, but he's one of the few people, I could read a book in his presence, and not feel nervous that I'm not talking, because I know he just didn't feel the need to talk either.

 

[wolfy]

Wolfy, you sound a bit like my BFF (who is also ISFP). He gets really charged up when he attends dance class, even has that screen saver thing, and he is definitely more tolerant to being out than me. He's still introverted though, just not as much as me. He's really tactile too, like he loves loads of colour every where. Freakin' cushions every where of every nice feeling material imaginable, and loves, loves music. He's greedy for sensory input all the time. I could see why it could be hard to tell if youare introverted or extroverted, but he's one of the few people, I could read a book in his presence, and not feel nervous that I'm not talking, because I know he just didn't feel the need to talk either.

Yeah, that does sound like me a bit.

 

[Lady_X]

An old rugby thread made me think of all this again...

I feel like I want to engage and need to. I also tend to get more and more energy in situations I enjoy. I was curious about it because I was fairly shy as a teenager and in my early twenties. Not so much now but still there is some shyness I think.

I don't really get the difference between external and internal preference. It feels like I prefer external.

i think i'm beginning to realize..i'm still kind of shy. i know i was when i was younger and had not felt like i was anymore..i think there's this thing when i feel instant acceptance and approval in new crowds and then i'm just normal...but when i don't which feels like a new thing...new city not enough people who i know around me....and i guess i'm just shy...without even realizing it really...but i was just told that in an interview...which sucks. :/

so anyway...i agree with skylights...and...i've always wondered if you were an esfp instead...you seem more outward focused to me

 

[wolfy]

i think i'm beginning to realize..i'm still kind of shy. i know i was when i was younger and had not felt like i was anymore..i think there's this thing when i feel instant acceptance and approval in new crowds and then i'm just normal...but when i don't which feels like a new thing...new city not enough people who i know around me....and i guess i'm just shy...without even realizing it really...but i was just told that in an interview...which sucks. :/

so anyway...i agree with skylights...and...i've always wondered if you were an esfp instead...you seem more outward focused to me

It can be really difficult in new environments.
And esfp? Yeah? That's interesting. You know me well enough for me to take it seriously.

 

[Lady_X]

you definitely seem engaging...are you sx first? i can't remember what your stacking is

i feel like i see more se in you than fi though...with infps it's like fi fi fi all over the place ya know? maybe it just feels different from isfps tho? hmm...

 

[wolfy]

you definitely seem engaging...are you sx first? i can't remember what your stacking is

i feel like i see more se in you than fi though...with infps it's like fi fi fi all over the place ya know? maybe it just feels different from isfps tho? hmm...

I wasn't sure. People said sp/sx, I can see that. I related to sx/sp too. But anyway, let's stick to one identity crisis at a time. People do say that about isfp, Se takes the edge off a bit, but I don't know.

 

[Qlip]

These threads confuse me more than clarify. I always test as an introvert. But I'm often engaged in physical hobbies. I feel energized at breaking into new social circles and people respond to me well. I have an overdrive crisis mode. But I don't feel that my 'energy' resembles the true extraverts here.

I've mostly chosen to ignore I/E differentiation for myself.