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[MBTI General] MBTI and the 5 Love Languages

Earl Grey

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 3, 2017
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
583
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
IN--. I originally had my list a little different than what I have now. It's a bit difficult because it depends on how close the relationship is. For example, I consider gifts an easy yet cheap way to maintain a casual relationship- in other words, I do it in decent frequency, but I don't regard it as particularly valuable. After a lot of thought, it has boiled down to:

Quality Time > Touch > Acts of service > Gifts > Words of affirmation

The higher up it is, the more choosy I am with it, and the more rarely it happens, if at all. I think I would rather say that this is my 'intolerance' scale, from the worst and most intolerable, to the most bearable. If it was 'receiving', this list would look slightly different, 'gifts' and 'words of affirmation' would be down there in the dumps. Yes, I dislike gifts. Slightly related:

 

Venus Rose

New member
Joined
Jul 8, 2016
Messages
324
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I think when I have taken the test my results come out something like words of affirmation top and then I don’t remember what the second one was
I guess that’s in line with NF temperament...?

Words do mean an enormous amount to me and beyond just “affirmation.” People might talk about what you say doesn’t matter, what you do does, but speaking is an action...haha. I am drawn to what someone is trying to convey to me, in the same vein I’m also drawn to reading and writing like a lot of INFPs are
 

neko 4

New member
Joined
Apr 13, 2017
Messages
437
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
INFJ
Words of affirmation
Quality time

The ones I use the most.
 

Obfuscate

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 20, 2016
Messages
1,907
MBTI Type
iNtP
Enneagram
954
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
nt:
physical touch
quality time
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
NF

1. Acts of service
2. Physical touch

Although I would argue that these things are as much determined by upbringing as they are by some predetermined preference. Our first example of love (presumably) is displayed by our parents.

I enjoy language, particularly written language, but for me love transcends words and so actions and displays of physical affection can just as easily be used to express emotion.
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
NF

Quality Time
Physical Touch

(words of affirmation a close 3rd)

7 years later...

I am inclined to think Words of Affirmation might be my number 1; it's just for years I've intellectually thought they 'shouldn't' matter but the reality is they do, for me. Genuine words. It's something that's been lacking in most of my longer relationships. It's interesting how when it comes to this concept of love language, we can rationalize away any or all of them as supposedly being unnecessary or unimportant, intellectualize that the other person operates differently and just shows things in a different way, but it boils down to our own feelings. Which, of course, is the point of this concept - it's just easy to talk it all away.

Still think Physical Touch is number two, but all the others blend together; I can appreciate and like all of the others. Gifts, for example, can be really wonderful; it's just that I have also had a relationship where they felt empty because it felt like they were the only thing being used to attempt to keep things together. I suppose this indicates to me that it is fairly low, but if I DO feel loved, I'd totally appreciate/love it, and I do love heartfelt gifts from friends/family.
 

PurplePal

New member
Joined
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
9
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
SP

1- Quality time
2- Physical touch

3- Acts of service
4- Words of affirmation
5- Gifts
 

Froody Blue Gem

Necromancing Scapelamb
Joined
Dec 19, 2018
Messages
1,141
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
954
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I am NT and my love languages are words of affirmation, and touch but only if it were with a very special person. In any other case, I am very awkward and dislike touch.
 

Yuurei

Noncompliant
Joined
Sep 29, 2016
Messages
4,509
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
NT

Quality time
I might take your feeling not consideration and put some effort into not offending you
 

neko 4

New member
Joined
Apr 13, 2017
Messages
437
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
My parents were affectionate enough with me, but I'm not very fond of physical touch.
 

The Cat

Just a Cat who hangs out at the Crossroads
Staff member
Joined
Oct 15, 2016
Messages
23,552
ENES :)happy2:I'm taking all of the EXXP's:D)

Physical Touch (I sometimes wonder if there's something wrong with me here, because I love being touched intimately even when it may not be appropriate or respectful towards me. I'm a bit hesitant to touch without verbal consent because of it, I on the other hand get all blushy and aquiver when someone presumes ownership over me enough to just, touch me.)
Words of affirmation (I do not say nice things to myself. I truly appreciate it when others can see in me the good I cannot.)
Acts of service (I'm secretly a princess cat, I do adore being pampered, and I'm enamored by people who are skilled at fixing and building things)
Quality Time (I sort of count this as an equivalency rather than a separate thing. I like to think all the people in my life are quality people in some form or fashion, so its all quality time, but I can be more extroverted than people are prepared for, and I will make you tired, so I have learned to love from a distance)
Gifts (I'm difficult to shop for.)
 

Saturnal Snowqueen

Solastalgia 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
6,125
MBTI Type
FELV
Enneagram
974
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
NF

Quality time and gifts are a tossup. I love gift giving because I love the aspect of picking out something nice for my partner based on their personal tastes. But quality time is meaningful to me too, as I love doing fun things with my guy while feeling I'm getting all the attention. I like them all basically except I don't care much about acts of service. An act of service is appreciated, but I don't want my partner to feel like a slave(or myself).
 

Lord Lavender

Bluered Trickster
Joined
Oct 21, 2016
Messages
5,851
MBTI Type
EVLF
Enneagram
739
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
ENxP

For me I share my girls love language in that I also love quality time and gifts. I love to spoil her like when Christmas Steam sales come she's going to get her dream game but she's an Aries woman so naturally she also wants to provide for me and I love it when she spoils me. We also both love spending quality time together which is the best :wubbie:.
 
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