Type and Reminising

[Snowey1210]

This question is triggered by a reuinon of sorts that I had recently with some of my close childhood friends. We decided to revisit the old school we used to go to late one night to see if it had changed at all. To me it was very powerful experience, as when I got there I could see vivid memories myself all over the place doing different things, playing games, injuring knees etc. I shared these with my friends who had a mixed reception to my reminising. My closest friend, oddly enough "tested" as a ESTJ (weak S) joined in, along with an ESTP (possible F). Whereas another friend an ISTJ saw this reminising as a pointless exercise, and the others (ISTP's) seemed quite indifferent.

I'm just interested in what you think in regards to this situation. At the time it struck me as pretty odd, as I can't really see how someone could completely disregard their past in such a manner. I'm all for the "here and now" but surely there is room to see where you have come from? I'll be particularly interested in what the E's and S's think of such activites.

 

[substitute]

I find reminiscing and nostalgia a useful tool. That is, I know other people seem to feel it quite powerfully and like to sorta wallow in it from time to time. I don't personally get it... but I just know they enjoy it. So it's a useful thing to use as a bonding tool, something to draw people out, that I know they'll enjoy talking about, even though personally I find it all quite tedious.

I know that with someone of a certain age I only need to draw an analogy between what they just said or what's currently happening and some aspect of a popular kids' show from the time they were in their formative years, and they'll instantly be engulfed in a sea of nostalgia. They'll then go into depth trying to remember things and listing all the things they remember about it, recalling it and asking if I remember it too. When I say I do, and that I also used to love it, it seems to make them feel closer to me or something. Maybe it makes them less afraid of my eccentricity or whatever, cos they see that deep down in some ways at least, I'm just like them. I'm not sure.

But whatever the case, when other people start reminiscing, though for the first few minutes I might enjoy the sorta bonding aspect of being in the same "remembering club" as it were, it very soon gets tedious to me. Apart from its current 'use' as a bonding tool, I have no feelings really about the memories. Recalling them doesn't induce in me the state of euphoria it does in others... I don't know why that is either. It's kinda like to me, "Oh! Do you remember...?" and I'm like "Um, yeah... *shrug*" thinking well, since I haven't had a stroke or any other amnesia inducing event, why wouldn't I remember it? Of course I remember it. But why is the fact that I remember it so great?

I find that it's often a 'papering over' device between people who used to know each other well, used to have a lot in common and do a lot together, but really don't have much to talk about any more besides the past. When you've run out of nostalgia to talk about, there's awkwardness.

Sometimes when other people are reminiscing, I'm thinking ahead to the awkward silence when they run out of memories to recall, and how I'll steer them through and over that, or avert it by subtly changing the topic of conversation before it runs dry.

 

[Totenkindly]

I like reminiscing partly because it evokes past emotional states that let me "feel" things... but I think even more importantly it feeds my Big Picture view of my life, because I'm looking for many patterns and the narrative through-line, to see how it all fits together. (Thinking only of the present is like living in one or two dimensions, including the past raises a third.)

Everything's got to be tied or have some consistency, for me. The past is part of the puzzle.

Plus... well, it's just fun remembering good experiences with old friends.

 

[substitute]

Maybe that's why it doesn't affect me Jennifer... I didn't really have much of an emotional investment in 90% of what happened anyway, and whatever involvement I had in it was as a person I wasn't. Detached from both ends from everything that was happening, so y'know, if I didn't feel any great affinity or attachment or anything about it the first time round, I don't the second, third, fourth or fifth times!

 

[Snowey1210]

I find that it's often a 'papering over' device between people who used to know each other well, used to have a lot in common and do a lot together, but really don't have much to talk about any more besides the past. When you've run out of nostalgia to talk about, there's awkwardness.

I can see your point here, it is pretty difficult for me to engage in discussion with a group of S's, and i guess I hope by reminising we can sort of remember what we had in common in the first place. Which funnily enough probably was a shared sense of humour and intelligence level rather than just shared interests.

I guess in the end it's just that old chestnut of childhood friendships. Kids can be friends with anyone really; you've got a bike! you're my friend, you've seen this movie! you're my friend, you know this person! you're my friend etc. Now in early adulthood it has only just dawned on me how different me and my friends really are. They all talk about cars, fishing, and movies when personally I would love to have a philosophical discussion in some form. But I'm pretty desperate to cling to these friendships so I make a concerted effort to participate in these discussions that I know very little about.

Where do people meet "N"s? I just find it so difficult to find someone who views the world in a "similar" way and my introversion seems to block this process a lot of the time.

 

[disregard]

I often reminisce about the good times with my family and old friends. I very very very rarely think about old flames or friends I'm not down with anymore. I am mostly nostalgic for the good memories.

 

[MerkW]

INxPs, in general, tend to enjoy nostalgia the most of all types.

 

[6sticks]

I don't like nostalgia, it's just a waste of time. Especially since everyone seems to think they lived in either a golden age of peace and bliss or a concentration camp. I'd rather do something memorable than remember something I did... I can be nostalgic when I'm dead.

 

[Snowey1210]

I don't like nostalgia, it's just a waste of time. Especially since everyone seems to think they lived in either a golden age of peace and bliss or a concentration camp. I'd rather do something memorable than remember something I did... I can be nostalgic when I'm dead.

It's not something I do 24/7 but to me it provides perspective. I know I have to switch it off to live my life, but it helps me identify mistakes and not repeat them again. Or to put it optimistically figure out what I did right the first time, and do that again.

 

[scantilyclad]

reminiscing is one of my favorite things to do. =) It makes me happy, and bring back good memories.

 

[6sticks]

It's not something I do 24/7 but to me it provides perspective. I know I have to switch it off to live my life, but it helps me identify mistakes and not repeat them again. Or to put it optimistically figure out what I did right the first time, and do that again.

There's a difference between learning from experience and being nostalgic.

 

[alicia91]

I'm not much for it. I don't know what's wrong with me because I would like to reminise, but I almost never do. The reason is for some reason I tend to associate a lot of negativity towards my past and it makes me sad for several reasons. Then I feel melancholic and often slightly depressed. Whereas when I look to the present and future I tend to think more positively.

I sometimes look back to the past in a cut-and-dry way to 'learn' something and I'm comfortable with that.

My entire family has complained that I don't display any family photographs and momentos - so I'm making an effort to do so.

 

[Splittet]

I would suspect SJ types to like nostalgia the most, then NP types, then SP types, then NJ types - purely based on how much they use Si. Therefore it was kind of strange to hear the ISTJ found it meaningless. Makes me think that person maybe was rather ISTP or INTJ.

 

[INTJMom]

This question is triggered by a reuinon of sorts that I had recently with some of my close childhood friends. We decided to revisit the old school we used to go to late one night to see if it had changed at all. To me it was very powerful experience, as when I got there I could see vivid memories myself all over the place doing different things, playing games, injuring knees etc. I shared these with my friends who had a mixed reception to my reminising. My closest friend, oddly enough "tested" as a ESTJ (weak S) joined in, along with an ESTP (possible F). Whereas another friend an ISTJ saw this reminising as a pointless exercise, and the others (ISTP's) seemed quite indifferent.

I'm just interested in what you think in regards to this situation. At the time it struck me as pretty odd, as I can't really see how someone could completely disregard their past in such a manner. I'm all for the "here and now" but surely there is room to see where you have come from? I'll be particularly interested in what the E's and S's think of such activites.

I tend to idealize the happy memories of my past.

I still keep in touch with one of my elementary school teachers.

When I lived out of state and would go home on vacation, I would stop in and visit 2 of the homes of the long-time neighbors. I like catching up with people after a long time of separation.
I just went to my 30th high school reunion last year and I enjoyed seeing everyone, especially the ones I knew from elementary school.

I would have enjoyed visiting my old school, as you did. As a matter of fact, I've done it. My disappointment was that all the teachers and admin I knew were all gone.

Not sure if it's significant, but I loved school.

 

[sassafrassquatch]

Dominant Si = hardcore nostalgiating.

 

[INTJMom]

...
Where do people meet "N"s? I just find it so difficult to find someone who views the world in a "similar" way and my introversion seems to block this process a lot of the time.

Libraries, bookstores...

 

[SillySapienne]

I don't like nostalgia, it's just a waste of time. Especially since everyone seems to think they lived in either a golden age of peace and bliss or a concentration camp. I'd rather do something memorable than remember something I did... I can be nostalgic when I'm dead.

True indeed, however I'm skeptical of anyone actually being able to commit themselves/their lives, to this line of reasoning.

So do you ever get, or have you ever been, depressed?

What's an adventurous soul like yourself doing on this forum?

Also how can you do something memorable if you refuse to ever remember it???

Aren't things memorable for exactly that reason???

 

[Nocapszy]

I don't like nostalgia, it's just a waste of time. Especially since everyone seems to think they lived in either a golden age of peace and bliss or a concentration camp.

Wtf?

Concentration camp nostalgia? Like... did you know a masochist jew?

 

[SillySapienne]

There's a difference between learning from experience and being nostalgic.

Have you ever been in love with someone before?

If not, do you think you are even capable?

*stating the obvious here: your response, though desired, is optional.

 

[substitute]

Actually I know an ISTJ who gets nostalgic for things he doesn't even remember or wasn't alive for. It's quite bizarre... he was born in the mid-60's so he was too young to really remember or participate in the hippie movements and by the time he was at college it was late 70's, early 80's punk time. But he has this graet fondness for music of the 50's and 60's and seems to index and interpolate and entire identity and mindset that he associates with that music so that if he hears the intro to say, "Put A Spell On You" by Nina Simone, he writhes and sighs in his chair in an apparent ecstacy of imaginary remembrance of all the things he associates with it, re-associating himself with those things and revelling in it.

It's really quite curious.