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  1. #51
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Jan 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I'm sensitive to ramifications, implications, and what is being communicated...what are my actions communicating to another person, what are my words communicating, what are my and the other person's discrepancies and consistencies? What are they saying to me, what do I expect of them, am I being reasonable, what can I realistically expect, what is most likely to happen between me and this other person, what kind of position am I putting them in, and conversely thinking do they realize what position they're putting me in.
    I'm sensitive to power balances and tend to see people in relationship to one another and myself to another person. What am I to them?
    What is this person typically like? What are their patterns of behavior and thought? What do they want? What are their beliefs and what's important to them? What are their reactions like? How do they typically react to XYZ? What is their baseline? How is this person contextually different?
    What kind of tone do I want between me and this person or me and this group of people? How do I approach them?
    How is this person or group of people going to fit in my life? How am I going to "zone" them? How much of myself, my energy and my thoughts do I give to them?
    What is the context and history between these people, or between myself and this person? What's their background? How do our backgrounds intersect?
    How likely is our pattern of interaction with each other to change, is it worth changing, am I invested enough to change myself enough to adapt? Are they invested enough to change?
    What's going on in this person's head, why do they think the way they do, how aligned are we, where do we agree/disagree?

    I encounter most of my problems with people because I expect this back from them. I wrongly or rightly expect them to go through this when dealing with me and I realize that it doesn't happen most of the time.

    The resolution on this can get finer and finer, I can zoom into ONE particular relationship and start dissecting that.

    What do things mean between me and this person? What are our personal symbols? What does it mean when we say this or do that? How do I show I care? How do they show me they care? How deeply have they penetrated me and vice versa? How open and free can we be with each other? Do I feel judged? Do they feel judged? Do they feel they can come to me, feel safe with me? Do I feel likewise? How much can be left unsaid between us and how much needs to be explicit? What does it mean when we leave things it trust or something else? How much trust do we have established? Is it OK for me to say that I feel this negative emotion or I need XYZ? Should I expect them to fulfill me this way? Should they expect me to fulfill them in this way, etc. etc.
    I am sorry, I do not mean to distract from the Fe flow of the conversation as it is very enlightening and I do not mean to start Fi/Fe arguments....But the above is striking to me. How do you keep all of that stuff in your head at once? I guess with people I have emotional bonds to-I say exactly what I mean and expect the same from be honest, the most important things are never said...they are glances, touches..and it is all so incredibly reactive and in the moment-very little planning.

    What you describe above is how I approach ideas, problems to be solved-but all phrased in actions, deliverables, requests Te style. The questions never focus on a person-but instead upon a desired objective outcome, even if the outcome is in terms of actions of a person? I dunno. Yeah, sorry, lots of "I"s. The main point-that was an really awesome summary of how you use Fe to analyze relationships and gives much appreciated insight. Thanks for taking the time to write it up.

  2. #52


    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post

    Anyway, carry on Fe-ers about how hard it makes your life to be so giving & selfless :rolli: .
    How is anyone supposed to take this comment? Posters were explaining how Fe makes one's life difficult at times (the aspect of Fe that we, the Fe-users, wanted to discuss at that moment in response to some of the posts made.) Is that not ok because it didn't unfurl in a certain way? Don't really care though. Just pointing out an inconsistency - comments like that (where a poster doesn't entertain another person's view) make it hard to take seriously discussions wherein they may want exactly that for themselves.

    It's a shame this thread died. It was interesting talking about how Fe manifests for a user personally, internally. I don't find it easy. I have great difficulty balancing my needs with the needs of others most of the time. I drop off the face of the earth at times because I'm so overloaded. Anyone else do that for that reason?

    Hope this kicks off again (though I don't have much time to be here atm.)

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