Talking MBTI with IRL friends...

[Venom]

...and 9/10 times regretting it.

Who else has had this experience? Even when someone else brings up the MBTI on their own (their company or whatever had them take it), I almost always end up regret talking about it.

I listen to what type they got and how much they know about the test. Then usually this happens:

1. They totally misinterpret:
<> E vs I. They often don't get that cognitive extroversion is different than social extroversion
<> J vs P. They see J and P as an actual dichotomy with its own deciding criteria (which is totally divorced from the underlying jungian theory). They don't understand how the J/P has to actually be tied into their other letters.
<> N vs S. It's as if the average person sees N as chiefly correlating with "being smart" (and of course everyone thinks they are a genius), where as in reality it much more correlates with high Openness (OCEAN big 5).

2. Obviously, there are reasons why the test has become watered down into a dichotomy not actually based on jungian functions. However, the problem is then when people try to talk to me about MBTI, I almost can't handle it.
<> Its like I feel so compelled to discuss what they're missing. Like if you heard someone mispronounce your language!
<> I try to be cordial and "gently" walk them towards the functions and explain where the test came from...but alas...

3. Who else feels like this: I'm considering just keeping my mouth shut from now on when the topic of MBTI comes up irl, because I always end up feeling like a crazy person when the topic comes up.

 

[Snuggletron]

If it gets brought up aside from having anyone take an online test or something, it's generally not talked about long. I haven't found anyone who is really interested in it except the person who introduced me to it and even he isn't interested in it anymore.

If it gets brought up because I mention it and someone wants to take the test to see what they are, the rest of the time is spent trying to explain what they don't understand (usually all of it), or listening to them quote from their type descriptions and saying "OMG THAT'S SO ME OMG"

mbti just sucks to talk about. People probably think I'm into horoscopes when I mention it so I just don't mention it anymore.

 

[Thalassa]

I've never had a bad reaction IRL. Two of my sisters, my high school bff, one of my best friends from WV, my ex, and several other friends, acquaintences, and roommates have all taken the test at my suggestion.

Some people find it really interesting. Others not so much. I've never pushed it to the point of making people upset IRL, because I don't see it as being that big of a deal IRL to push my ideas about it on to others.

Also I usually have to tell people I'm an introvert to explain my odd behavior, even if I'm actually borderline or one of those ENxP introverted extroverts, because it just makes my life easier.

 

[duck!]

I feel the same way. I've opened my mouth about it a few times to my friends and they all think that I'm into astrology! (I agree with Snuggletron.) I would love to discuss type theory intelligently with somebody who'd patiently hear me out and correct some of my wilder theories. For a long time I wasn't aware of this board, and now that I read things on here I think I'm freaking out.

But yes, I don't think I will ever be satisfied with someone IRL. Based on the reactions I get, I'm almost embarrassed to talk about it with others now. Maybe that'll change and I hope it does. Maybe I'll go to one of the Typology meetups. I'm from the NY area, but I don't see any of them taking place there.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I rarely have a chance to get annoyed, as about 1 minute in they've lost interest and are moving onto a new topic. I only have one friend who I can't talk with it about even though he is semi-interested, as he is stuck on the 4 dichotomies and has not progressed to the underlying theory (and considering I think he is mistyped, it is especially annoying). It does make me get frustrated, but I don't want to get all know-it-all-y about it either, as if I was never in his shoes. It took me years after taking my first MBTI test to get into the theory. Until then, it was just an interesting quiz about personality. Most people are just not going to be interested enough to look beyond the test and profiles.

 

[skylights]

i haven't talked about it with anyone besides other personality psych nerds and my brother (INTP), who i had a suspicion would find it interesting. he found it mildly interesting but not to the point that i did. oddly enough, one of my bosses was quite interested in it, but i still can't really figure out her type!

also i've found it really interesting who in real life thinks i'm an extravert and who thinks i'm an introvert. it's about 50/50.

besides that, most people don't seem to be super interested.

 

[Lux]

I have two people I have become close with from here and have hung out with irl and we can talk about the functions and all that good stuff, but that is the extent of it in my world. Many people don't care about it, or don't want to understand it in the first place.

 

[Thessaly]

People already think I'm cray cray. I've got nothing to lose going a little nutty about the MBTI.

 

[Mr. Sherlock Holmes]

Nobody I know cares about it. Not even the INTP. I've told about 5 people. I don't want people to get the idea that I'm judging people based on it or anything, which I think is a reasonable conclusion, so I don't normally tell people about it.

 

[Trentham]

Nobody I know cares about it. Not even the INTP. I've told about 5 people. I don't want people to get the idea that I'm judging people based on it or anything, which I think is a reasonable conclusion, so I don't normally tell people about it.

Yeah, this is similar to my experience. I've only had one RL friend in the last several years (an INFJ) who's given me any positive response once I've introduced MBTI theory. The others simply don't show much interest, so I drop it.

 

[chickpea]

i've gotten a few people to take the test, mostly just to see if i was right about guessing their type. most weren't that interested though. my one friend who did take more of an interest in it i think was googling and taking all the celebrity typings on the internet as fact ("kanye west is an enfp too!" "nah i think he's enfj" "well there was a website that said he was enfp and all these people were agreeing!"), probably here actually.

 

[Affably Evil]

If it gets brought up because I mention it and someone wants to take the test to see what they are, the rest of the time is spent trying to explain what they don't understand (usually all of it), or listening to them quote from their type descriptions and saying "OMG THAT'S SO ME OMG"

This happened to me two days ago. On the one hand, it's understandable that the person in question will be first interested and attracted to information that helps them perceive and critically evaluate themselves (okay so I'm being generous here). On the other hand, the person in question had me guess her type (got it in one) and then used the rest of the evening to quote parts of the type description at me and preen about it. When I tried to broach the deeper theory mechanics she brushed it off and started talking about the celebrities she shared a type with. Sigh.

 

[Amethyst]

My high school friends liked to talk about it, because we had to take it for a psychology class, and we all found it interesting...it didn't really make sense to me then, which is probably how I ended up here.

 

[Eric B]

I'm in a heavy SJ environment, and nobody's interested. Just too abstract. My wife was the one who got into temperament theory in the first place (the Galenic APS version), as part of her psychology career path, and thus introduced me to it, and tested several friends and family, and she will reference it with them occasionally.
But I'm the one who took off with it, and when I start explaining things through the archetypes, she says I've made a religion out of it.

 

[sculpting]

I have worked at the same company for about six years. I learned about MBTI about five years before that in grad school, where ENTP-3 and I were best friends and used it to understand all of the other grad students, including our odd INTJ friends....("Ah, they aren't mean, just INTJs...")

Once I went to work, I found ENTP-4 and we have spent six years obsessing over MBTI. At first, when still little lab rats, we made everyone in our building take the tests and sorted and split them up according to type. The rest of the building thought it was entertaining and said we were talking about the "letters" again. It actually seemed to help the INTPs we worked with quite a bit. One of them said he felt like he had been born as an alien on this planet, so understanding what INTP was, made him feel a lot better about himself. An ISTJ said something very similar. The two INFJs said it was like astrology and just laughed the whole thing off. We had guessed at everyone's spouses type as well. I'd say we racked up hundreds of hours at lunch and before work and during work chatting back and forth about MBTI.

Last year I brought ENTP-4 the jungian functions after learning about them here. We have fought more violently over the Fi/Fe and Ti/Te issues that any arguments I have seen here-to the point of screaming and cutting insults, as can see now how those diffs permeate into poor decisions and communication issues in our lives and in our company. Understanding others should make you more accepting right? Except that the more you understand, the more your own internal projections have to be erased and the more accountable you have to be for recognizing you will never see the world they way the other person does.

We also mapped out patterns across departments. In meetings we talk in terms of "Te" and "Fe" to the point that people think we have evolved a code language. The latest project is communication. We are observing and bantering back and forth about the types of words and tone of voice different types/individuals will have. She told me my meeting minutes were the only ones worth reading as I transcribe what people say over the course of meeting, and then map that back to where confusion or resentment begins.

We appear to be obsessed but to be honest our jobs are dull, so it is like bubblegum for the Ne brain.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Everyone I introduce it to thinks it's boring, or it 'boxes them in'. Only one person I know doesn't seem to mind when I bring it up, but besides him I don't bother talking about it, because no one truly wishes to listen. My dad is interested in it, I think. My mom listens to it, but I can't tell if she likes me learning it. I don't know. I hardly ever bring it up.

 

[Venom]

I have worked at the same company for about six years. I learned about MBTI about five years before that in grad school, where ENTP-3 and I were best friends and used it to understand all of the other grad students, including our odd INTJ friends....("Ah, they aren't mean, just INTJs...")

Once I went to work, I found ENTP-4 and we have spent six years obsessing over MBTI. At first, when still little lab rats, we made everyone in our building take the tests and sorted and split them up according to type. The rest of the building thought it was entertaining and said we were talking about the "letters" again. It actually seemed to help the INTPs we worked with quite a bit. One of them said he felt like he had been born as an alien on this planet, so understanding what INTP was, made him feel a lot better about himself. An ISTJ said something very similar. The two INFJs said it was like astrology and just laughed the whole thing off. We had guessed at everyone's spouses type as well. I'd say we racked up hundreds of hours at lunch and before work and during work chatting back and forth about MBTI.

Last year I brought ENTP-4 the jungian functions after learning about them here. We have fought more violently over the Fi/Fe and Ti/Te issues that any arguments I have seen here-to the point of screaming and cutting insults, as can see now how those diffs permeate into poor decisions and communication issues in our lives and in our company. Understanding others should make you more accepting right? Except that the more you understand, the more your own internal projections have to be erased and the more accountable you have to be for recognizing you will never see the world they way the other person does.

We also mapped out patterns across departments. In meetings we talk in terms of "Te" and "Fe" to the point that people think we have evolved a code language. The latest project is communication. We are observing and bantering back and forth about the types of words and tone of voice different types/individuals will have. She told me my meeting minutes were the only ones worth reading as I transcribe what people say over the course of meeting, and then map that back to where confusion or resentment begins.

We appear to be obsessed but to be honest our jobs are dull, so it is like bubblegum for the Ne brain.

Wait, so people in your work environment tolerate you talking about MBTI openly in meetings and such? haha ...and they let you test everyone? Were you hired directly into being CEO? haha. Im seriously curious...

I'm in a heavy SJ environment, and nobody's interested. Just too abstract. My wife was the one who got into temperament theory in the first place (the Galenic APS version), as part of her psychology career path, and thus introduced me to it, and tested several friends and family, and she will reference it with them occasionally.
But I'm the one who took off with it, and when I start explaining things through the archetypes, she says I've made a religion out of it.

I feel your pain. As a result of this realization, I began extensive "learning" of everything I can find about five factor models. At least then I can say what I'm talking about/interested in is a system used by top academics in actual research :/ ... Theories of personality description aren't nearly as much fun as theories of personality though. I've come to realize that basically Keirsey "saved" MBTI by turning it into a Big 4 test...though I don't think that was Myers/Jung's original intent. I think the whole of MBTI would be better off it switched to type names like FeNi, TeSi etc...

 

[Savage Idealist]

Guess I'm no exception as well. I've brought it up constantly around my family members but none of them show any real interest. Worse, they will sometimes give poor excuses to not have to listen to the type theory; like "I know who I am" or "well you just categorizing everyone into groups" nonsense. I'll have them take tests and they won't even review and consider their results, it's damn right disrepectful and bothersome. I'm still considering whether or not I should ask some of my MTG aquaintences about MBTI, but I'm not really all that sure.

 

[October Rust]

I don't really.. have any real life friends But when I did I never talked to them about it. A few family members that I'm close to seem really interested in it though!