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Lonely Loner

You

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Jun 8, 2010
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I'm an ENFP. I'm a sociable loner. One friend, but that's all. And I feel like I'm whithering....So, I ask, what type to you believe is best to live this loner lifestyle, because I don't think ENFPs are that type.
 

Moiety

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I'm an ENFP. I'm a sociable loner. One friend, but that's all. And I feel like I'm whithering....So, I ask, what type to you believe is best to live this loner lifestyle, because I don't think ENFPs are that type.

ISTP.

Let me give you some advice, coming from someone who has been/is there too : think about your goals in life and work towards them NOW.

My current goal is to live somewhere cool, have friends, go on adventures and start working towards being able to be creative and make my ideas tangible.

So I'm doing it now. I don't even care much where I'm going. I'm gonna move to another city in my country till the end of October because I'm suffocated by my environment here. Because there is no point denying some of your needs. I will say, that loneliness isn't always bad for an ENFP. It builds character and depth and makes you think about what you are doing (and if you are a 7...it would make sense since you're supposed to integrate to 5 to be healthier). But yeah, go after what you want. What would like to have right now that you don't? Go after that.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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Mar 20, 2009
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[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymRW-Y_ALNo"]Kid Cudi - Day & Night (Crookers remix)[/YOUTUBE]
 

Vamp

New member
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Jul 2, 2010
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579
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ENFP
ISTP.

Let me give you some advice, coming from someone who has been/is there too : think about your goals in life and work towards them NOW.

My current goal is to live somewhere cool, have friends, go on adventures and start working towards being able to be creative and make my ideas tangible.

So I'm doing it now. I don't even care much where I'm going. I'm gonna move to another city in my country till the end of October because I'm suffocated by my environment here. Because there is no point denying some of your needs. I will say, that loneliness isn't always bad for an ENFP. It builds character and depth and makes you think about what you are doing (and if you are a 7...it would make sense since you're supposed to integrate to 5 to be healthier). But yeah, go after what you want. What would like to have right now that you don't? Go after that.

This. Working towards my goals (in a less tangible ENFP way) has kept me sane. Also, surrounding myself with inspiration and things that make me happy. Cliche, i know. But positive feedback via accomplishments and progress have ALWAYS worked well to distract me from my constant loneliness (since childhood). Which is why I enjoy meticulous and time consuming things. And thinking about nonsense, a lot.

Deja Vu: At a certain point diversion becomes unhealthy and encourages more running. I'd advise you to go out and join something that you're interested in, book clubs, take classes at a community college, team sports etc., Just find something you like and you'll meet people you can get on with.
 

Ulaes

loopy
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
850
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crak
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I'm an ENFP. I'm a sociable loner. One friend, but that's all. And I feel like I'm whithering....So, I ask, what type to you believe is best to live this loner lifestyle, because I don't think ENFPs are that type.

ITs. i think the ITPs are the most natural loners of all. They're the type that's more likely to sit at least five seats away from anyone else for no apparent reason.

so... sociable loner, what's that? you're friendly with people but you don't make the jump from aquiantance to friend?

i don't think it's healthy for anyone to be isolated for long periods of time, other people are the biggest source of joy in life (also the biggest source of pain).
obviously some types can stand it a lot easier than others. the thing that bugs me about isolation is having no one to joke around with because i love making people laugh.
 

KDude

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Jan 26, 2010
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8,243
You do seem more ITP like actually.. you're kind of short with words on the net too (like in your jokes and such. They remind me of some ISTPs).

That said, good luck. I'm a loner too. Although I have friends and can be sociable (I behave like an F, I guess. Not an ITP).
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
ITs. i think the ITPs are the most natural loners of all. They're the type that's more likely to sit at least five seats away from anyone else for no apparent reason.
^ :yes:

so... sociable loner, what's that? you're friendly with people but you don't make the jump from aquiantance to friend?
^ For me it means, I don't feel the desire to jump from aquiantance to friend because I don't feel a 'real' connection. If you're one of those real friends and we're 'hanging out', I'm very sociable. I'm not social enough to keep friendships going. For example, if you write me on Facebook, call me, email me, txt me, I'll usually feel touched, but I won't reply 95% of the time. Sometimes I'll want to reply, but because I'm busy or not sure how to respond, I won't. That doesn't mean I don't care. I'm private and I'm not a small talker. I do this with family too, but it's more like 50% of time. There are rare friends and rare exceptions to this though. All friendships seem to fade away over time.
 

Queen Kat

The Duchess of Oddity
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
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I'm an ENFP. I'm a sociable loner. One friend, but that's all. And I feel like I'm whithering....So, I ask, what type to you believe is best to live this loner lifestyle, because I don't think ENFPs are that type.

Yay, I'm one too! :D But anyways, I only know of one other loner and he's INTP.
 

Saslou

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Feb 1, 2009
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I'm an ENFP. I'm a sociable loner. One friend, but that's all. And I feel like I'm whithering....So, I ask, what type to you believe is best to live this loner lifestyle, because I don't think ENFPs are that type.

I am an ESFJ and i have only 1 friend .. Don't get me wrong, i know a lot of people but i don't know how to turn them into friends ..

It's a good job i like my own company, lol.
 

skylights

i love
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Jul 6, 2010
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i feel lonely sometimes because i love being with people but i am really self-conscious, and i don't like the first few minutes of meeting people because i am typically quite nervous about it. and then of course there are some people i just don't like.

i don't differentiate much between "friend" and "acquaintance" but if we're talking about people i feel like intentionally hanging out with, the number drops from like 500 to 15. and there are some people who i LOVE that are not close and then some people who are close that i don't really enjoy that much, so i don't spend much time with either of those.

sociable loner is a pretty accurate description for me, lol
 

You

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Most of everyone hit it right on the head. Sociable, but I don't know how to make friends. If I'm starting to, they'll always say something that makes me uncomfortable and make me see them as an acquaintance forever.

The strange thing is that I know a lot of people. I've even been mistaken for popular, but most of my days consist of me and me.
 

Amethyst

¡MI TORTA!
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That seems to be a similar trait between ENxPs, I noticed, like the introverted extrovert thing.

I think it could be possible that we just hold people to higher standards when it comes to friendships, and we become nervous assuming they're holding the same standards when meeting someone. :shrug:
 

Vamp

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Jul 2, 2010
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That seems to be a similar trait between ENxPs, I noticed, like the introverted extrovert thing.

I think it could be possible that we just hold people to higher standards when it comes to friendships, and we become nervous assuming they're holding the same standards when meeting someone. :shrug:

That's what happens with me.
 

Robopop

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I am without a doubt a loner but I really don't FEEL lonely, I have only one friend and I haven't seen him in like 7, 8 months. I think it might be true about ITPs being natural loners. I have an ENFP sister who says that she likes to spend alot of time to herself but I wouldn't call her a loner.
 

Grungemouse

Widdles in your cream.
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Typical university loner here. I am That Creepy Girl in lecture halls who sits three chairs away from everyone else. I look around and I am literally the only person who hasn't diffused themselves into a group. It's kind of... baffling. I haven't made any friends here, only the handful of people I say hi to. I have my girlfriend, so I suppose it isn't so bad. On most days I'm fine with this, but there are the occasional nights when I'm down in the dumps, and fret over my relationship because if it doesn't work out then I really am alone. Overall, I'm fine.
 

Arclight

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I am sociable.. not at all social.

People confuse my friendliness and social mannerisms to mean I am social.

I have no friends. My best friends in the whole world I know online and haven't even met them..

I met my last 3 relationships online including my ex wife.

I am almost always seen alone, unless I am in a relationship.
 

You

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God, were all a bunch of losers!!
 

Niaurus

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Sep 2, 2009
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I now realize there's a distinction between feeling well by yourself and not. Plenty of ways to use solitude, but of course extroverts tend to understand life more based on social elements.
 

Killjoy

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Oct 7, 2008
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I am without a doubt a loner but I really don't FEEL lonely, I have only one friend and I haven't seen him in like 7, 8 months. I think it might be true about ITPs being natural loners. I have an ENFP sister who says that she likes to spend alot of time to herself but I wouldn't call her a loner.

I know a couple of ENFPs like that. They always claim to be on their own, yet they never really seem capable of leaving people alone.

It's especially funny when they go through a misanthropic phase... It's kinda cute.

God, were all a bunch of losers!!

And Therein lies the difference between a lonely extrovert and an introvert.
 
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