- Joined
- Dec 23, 2009
- Messages
- 26,578
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
Ni Preference and Interpersonal Interaction
Ni has a more complex definition that I have failed to see anyone accurately define at all. Ni has the attitude of preferring to interpolate optimum systems from ideas based upon internal stimulus. This gives the dominant Ni types, the INTJ and INFJ's a focus on 'key symbolic ideas' which can be brought forward and optimized to build structure. Because Ni reacts to internal stimulus, these types will be external stimulus avoidant (sic. human interaction) as they would prefer space to help them solve whatever symbolic problem is running in their head.
In human interaction these types often appear acutely observant; although they may have phased out to deal with some lingering internal conundrum. The support function adds considerably more definition to interaction as it is the external aspect. INTJs when they flip from Ni to Te will appear critical, viewing ideas as systems to be interpolated and optimized to solve any outstanding problems or to develop their understanding of ideas, with Ni providing a symbolic focus on the key aspects. INFJs will appear giving, with Fe actualising a need to empathically share what they view are the iconic themes that are driving them; expect lots of subtle but powerful emotional gestures based upon others needs.
Therefore, dominant Ni users view intrapersonal thinking and blocking out external stimulus as the preferred opportunity available to them. If they they feel they wish to make friends or express love to another they will do so by interacting via. their secondary external aspect while dotting it with key iconic themes that their Ni prefers. They will then retreat to allow the other time to digest the concept as they would do themselves, regardless of the partner's preference. As they wish significant space and time to flex their Ni, they expect others also to wish it as a consequence.
First, I'd like to say that I think this is quite a good description. At least, it certainly resonates with me.
Opposing Interpersonal Interaction
To summarise where we are at this point it is important to note that:
Ne types will prefer to receive and give stimulus as is their preference
Ni types will prefer to have and give space as is their preference.
These two functional attitudes to interpersonal interaction are directly opposed which can lead to communication confusion between Ni and Ne users.
I have often stressed that as a dominant Ni user I often feel that any interaction with an Ne user is immediately a loss. Because my preference is to sit and ponder and introvert to have a lengthy conversation with an ENxP I lose a large portion of my ability to do so while I feed their Ne. In effect, they love it, but I lose doing what I prefer to some degree.
The side effect of such positive interaction for the Ne dominant is that they may choose to like the Ni dominant so much that they shower them with attention, without realising that this makes the Ni dominant feel at even greater of a loss as opposed to allowing time for the Ni dominant to recover and ponder. They may then become offended because if the Ni user wishes to be friendly with them they may receed into their shell because that is the Ni preference.
As a result it is very important to find some kind of type interaction balance between Ne and Ni users and an understanding of how the other shows affection is the flip side of what may be naturally expected.
It is a bit difficult for me to separate out Ne vs Ni, as individual functions, and how interaction between the two plays out. What I can speak to from a practical perspective is my experience as an INTJ with ENFPs. My experience is that there is a special kind of interpersonal chemistry that seems to exist. I tend to think they're funny, they cause me to lighten up, and they provide a perspective that I simply don't have. I enjoy the interaction. On the negative side, they can see me as being overly critical at times and I can feel a bit exhausted during or after the interaction with them.
I'm just having the realization that Fidelia talks about of "I need to reach out more," or "I need to initiate more." Huh.
It's really challenging for me to articulate half of what's in my head; I'm so bad at elaborating in-the-moment.
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More to the OP - I definitely need to retreat and have my own space to formulate my thoughts, make sense of them, and reach conclusions.
I experience the same thing and it is at times frustrating to be this way. I would prefer to be more articulate in the moment.
Personally, I have little difficulty reasoning in either direction, though I find much more naturally tend to the Ni. (Various cognitive function tests - unreliable, I know! - score me high in Ne and Ti, though Ni and Te are much higher, and Fi and the rest are lower.) I find myself getting into strange discussions on occasion, when I express this understanding of Ne, which should be a shadow, and I find myself surprised when other INTJs don't seem to get Ne, and xNTPs don't get Ni. They seem very much the same to me: not due to "confusion" of the concepts, but because I switch from one mode to the other with only minimal effort.
I believe it's possible that we do the same thing and I have similar function test results (high Ne and Ti). Just this evening in a brainstorming session, it felt like I was flipping back and forth between Ni and Ne, as I understand them anyway. While I had an urge to "run away and think about it", the part of me that wanted to come to closure forced me to stay in the room and bounce ideas around so we could get closer as a team towards conceptual alignment. We had a lot of data and information on business drivers and trends. I wanted us to connect all of the disparate information and identify the key insights from that data so that we could decide what we were going to do. It was difficult for me to talk through it with the team in real time as the thoughts and ideas are so clearly unformed in my head.