Rick Reilly, Michael Jordan, and My Spite for Fe

[highlander]

There are points in his article that are valid though. I was surprised (but pleased) that Jordan let the world see that side of him. You didn't see it for all those years in Chicago. The image was carefully crafted and protected.

That was an amazing time. To live in a city where good sports teams don't seem to last. It was something.

 

[Zarathustra]

Oh, Jordan was fo sholy a competitive ass motherfucker; but to hold against and detest him for precisely what drove him to the heights that he achieved is sheer idiocy.

It's not like he was

...

 

[highlander]

The one thing I don't like about Fe users I know is a tendency to put the needs of others that they don't know as well above themselves or those that are close to them.

 

[skylights]

The one thing I don't like about Fe users I know is a tendency to put the needs of others that they don't know as well above themselves or those that are close to them.

yes, this has really confused me in the past. it's not that i don't find it somewhat admirable, but when it's happened in a situation i'm involved in...

like one of my closest Fe dom friends would take care of the needs of people she didn't know that well and sometimes blow me off in the process, and i got rather pissed off about it. like, a girl she knew was having an emotional crisis, and she ditched plans with me to help her. on one level i was impressed with her altruism and i knew that wasn't what she really personally wanted to do - she'd much rather be out having fun and when she got back she was emotionally exhausted. but on another level i was really annoyed because i was looking forward to our plans, and the girl had crises like this pretty frequently. i felt like i was being ditched, which wasn't my friend's intention, but it also came off that way to some of our other friends, too. like that it was simultaneously very kind and rather flippant of her.

 

[highlander]

that's a good example


Another trivial one - somebody calls you up to wish you happy birthday. They wake you up out of sound sleep to make the person calling happy instead of letting you sleep. They know quite well that you won't be able to get back to sleep.

 

[Zarathustra]

that's a good example

Another trivial one - somebody calls you up to wish you happy birthday. They wake you up out of sound sleep to make the person calling happy instead of letting you sleep. They know quite well that you won't be able to get back to sleep.

Wow. Now that's what I'm talking about.

It's this neediness, that in this example actually turns out to be blatantly and totally selfish, that appalls me.

It reminds me of a needy dog... You can tell they have this physical need to connect with things outside of themselves...

 

[garbage]

Yeah. It's bullshit selfishness when people do that sort of thing because it makes them feel good. They believe that they're being courteous and nice to you and 'why are you so ungrateful you should be more grateful that I called'


If you truly care about someone, and if you're really trying to do something for them, how about looking at what they actually need or want?

 

[Glycerine]

that's a good example


Another trivial one - somebody calls you up to wish you happy birthday. They wake you up out of sound sleep to make the person calling happy instead of letting you sleep. They know quite well that you won't be able to get back to sleep.

WTF, that sucks. I wouldn't do that. I would consider their sleeping patterns before doing that or I would email them if I didn't know their sleep pattern... we seriously aren't all THAT bad. Now that I think about it, I don't even bother with bdays much anymore.

 

[KDude]

I don't even sing happy birthday. Not even for kids. I don't want people to sing it to me either.

I'm aware it's different, but it's just one of those things I can't do.

 

[highlander]

WTF, that sucks. I wouldn't do that. I would consider their sleeping patterns before doing that or I would email them if I didn't know their sleep pattern... we seriously aren't all THAT bad. Now that I think about it, I don't even bother with bdays much anymore.

Just to clarify - the person answering the phone wakes you up to talk to someone who called. You're sleeping.

It's a trivial example, but I think some Fe users might do this kind of thing a lot. In and of itself, none of this seems so bad but when it happens 100 times, it's disappointing.

They tell a white lie to make someone feel better (especially those they are not close to). They go out of their way to make others comfortable. They're always doing things for others. Yet, there is this subtle criticism of those who are close to them because they are not in some way as they ought to be.

It doesn't as much seem like selfishness as misplaced priorities.

There are a lot of wonderful things about Fe, don't get me wrong, but there is a dark side to it.

 

[Glycerine]

Just to clarify - the person answering the phone wakes you up to talk to someone who called. You're sleeping.

It's a trivial example, but I think some Fe users might do this kind of thing a lot. In and of itself, none of this seems so bad but when it happens 100 times, it's disappointing.

They tell a white lie to make someone feel better (especially those they are not close to). They go out of their way to make others comfortable. They're always doing things for others. Yet, there is this subtle criticism of those who are close to them because they are not in some way as they ought to be.

It doesn't as much seem like selfishness as misplaced priorities.

There are a lot of wonderful things about Fe, don't get me wrong, but there is a dark side to it.

I know... I wasn't offended in the slightest. I was giving you a hard time. I would actually want to personally whack the person on the noggin if they did that to me.

 

[burymecloser]

Apologies for the back-on-topic derail...

I didn't watch the videos (25 min!), but I do recall that Rick Reilly was far from the only one appalled by Jordan's speech. FWIW, I suspect Reilly is NFJ and Simmons ESFP (pulled those out of my ass after thinking about it for a grand total of approximately 15 seconds). Also, I believe Rick Reilly is subconsciously racist, so I wouldn't rule out the possibility that his perception of the speech was influenced by that.

That said, where you perceive Fe users to be insincere, to me many Fi users come off as not just rude, but downright mean. They sometimes knowingly and gratuitously hurt people's feelings for no reason other than candor, and often seem deeply self-centered. I know many Fi users, both online and IRL, who do not give those impressions, but to me, the "sins" of Fe pale in comparison to the ugliest aspects of Fi.

 

[Glycerine]

Apologies for the back-on-topic derail...

I didn't watch the videos (25 min!), but I do recall that Rick Reilly was far from the only one appalled by Jordan's speech. FWIW, I suspect Reilly is NFJ and Simmons ESFP (pulled those out of my ass after thinking about it for a grand total of approximately 15 seconds). Also, I believe Rick Reilly is subconsciously racist, so I wouldn't rule out the possibility that his perception of the speech was influenced by that.

That said, where you perceive Fe users to be insincere, to me many Fi users come off as not just rude, but downright mean. They sometimes knowingly and gratuitously hurt people's feelings for no reason other than candor, and often seem deeply self-centered. I know many Fi users, both online and IRL, who do not give those impressions, but to me, the "sins" of Fe pale in comparison to the ugliest aspects of Fi.

Shit... you might have inadvertently started another battle between Fe and Fi users.

 

[highlander]

That said, where you perceive Fe users to be insincere, to me many Fi users come off as not just rude, but downright mean. They sometimes knowingly and gratuitously hurt people's feelings for no reason other than candor, and often seem deeply self-centered. I know many Fi users, both online and IRL, who do not give those impressions, but to me, the "sins" of Fe pale in comparison to the ugliest aspects of Fi.

It may very well be but I don't think it is the topic of the thread - to compare the two.

 

[Jaguar]

Yeah. It's bullshit selfishness when people do that sort of thing because it makes them feel good. They believe that they're being courteous and nice to you and 'why are you so ungrateful you should be more grateful that I called'


If you truly care about someone, and if you're really trying to do something for them, how about looking at what they actually need or want?

I need to start checking more people for a pulse.

 

[JustHer]

Shit... you might have inadvertently started another battle between Fe and Fi users.

I wonder which one will prevail...



DOWN WITH Fi!!

 

[highlander]

That is the thread is about Fe not FI.

Unless I am mistaken.

 

[Totenkindly]

Fe: The main function no one appreciates until it's not being used.

... you'd be surprised at how much good Fe has been benefiting you, once it's been taken away.

 

[garbage]

Fe: The main function no one appreciates until it's not being used.

... you'd be surprised at how much good Fe has been benefiting you, once it's been taken away.

Welp, this is one of those cases where it's insanely useful to separate what the function actually means from its potential results, because functions can manifest themselves in a wide variety of ways.

 

[highlander]

Fe: The main function no one appreciates until it's not being used.

... you'd be surprised at how much good Fe has been benefiting you, once it's been taken away.

THAT is true.