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is this correct difference of thinking between Fe/Fi?

INTP

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Ill use this situation as an example:

You see someone(that you dont know) fall with his bike and he gets hurt pretty badly, but not so badly that his life would be in danger.

Fi user would set himself in the bikers situation and therefore feel bad for him. Using Ne or Se in combination with Fi. Fi user with Ne would think what if this would happen to me(the whole situation about falling, maybe he was hurt somewhere else(thats not showing) also, people looking at him but just passing by etc) and maybe Si if he would have been in similar situation before. Fi user Se user would see the wounds, and set himself in the situation where he would have this kind of wounds himself and therefore feeling bad for him.

Fe user would feel bad for the guy without setting himself in the bikers situation. Im not sure how Ni/Si would effect this, maybe someone can explain it? Or maybe Si/Ni wouldnt make as big of a difference to this for Fe users than Se/Ne does make for Fi users?

So, both Fi and Fe users would get to same conclusion about this(feeling bad for the guy who fell with his bike), but from different perspectives(setting himself on the bikers situation or not).

Do you guys think this is the correct process or Fi/Fe way of extroverting their feeling function?
 

gromit

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I always understood Fe as tied to cultural values and that sort of thing, so wouldn't that factor into the Fe user's understanding of it being the "right" thing to do?
 

KDude

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not sure about Fe, but that's kind of how Fi would play out for me. whether it's physical or emotional, i'll feel or identify with someone's pain - at times though, i may not know enough of the person to express myself (especially in emotional cases..i may need more familiarity. it's quite easy to help a stranger in a physical accident though). unfortunately...! if it wasn't too harmless of an accident, and they fell in some contorted way, i'm gonna laugh.
 

Totenkindly

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I think human beings of all sorts would feel a mix of both.

Maybe the mix and how it is processed is impacted by cognitive perspective, but to say an Fe user doesn't empathize at all with a victim is a bit ridiculous, IMO.
 

William K

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It's personal vs societal values. If we take the extreme case of only one orientation of the F function at a time, then 100% Fe would be thinking what would a 'normal' person do in my place. What's the normal etiquette? Would he/she go and help the person?

100% Fi would be ignore any outside influence at all. What the Fi-user would do will be based totally on his values. If he has a value that everyone should take care of themselves, then he will ignore and carry on. If his value is that people should help each other, then he will help.
 

JocktheMotie

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I don't know if I'd call Fe "societal." More environmental. It may seem like hairsplitting but I think it's an important distinction. Fe users are perfectly capable of being counter-cultural and societal. It's just that their source of "F-ness" will always be external.
 

Moiety

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I think Fe is more likely to think "what is expected of me to feel?"

I think Fe is much more society-bound. Not bound by tradition or anything like that. It's more socially aware. We are all cogs inside a big machine. It thinks of the group a lot more.

It's tough to explain.
 

wolfy

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I don't know if I'd call Fe "societal." More environmental. It may seem like hairsplitting but I think it's an important distinction. Fe users are perfectly capable of being counter-cultural and societal. It's just that their source of "F-ness" will always be external.

Yeah, environmental seems like a more accurate word. Less likely to lead to assumptions.
 

JocktheMotie

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I think Fe is more likely to think "what is expected of me to feel?"

I think Fe is much more society-bound. Not bound by tradition or anything like that. It's more socially aware. We are all cogs inside a big machine. It thinks of the group a lot more.

It's tough to explain.

Fe is the group hug.

Fi is the ass-pinch.
 

William K

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I don't know if I'd call Fe "societal." More environmental. It may seem like hairsplitting but I think it's an important distinction. Fe users are perfectly capable of being counter-cultural and societal. It's just that their source of "F-ness" will always be external.

Ok, I can buy that :)
What happens when an Fe user goes to a foreign land with differing values? Which will be given a higher weightage?
 

INTP

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Id want to know if Fi users tends to put themselves in other peoples shoes when using Fi on something outside their own heads and Fe users just feeling bad for the poor guy who fell with his bike.

I know differences on Fi vs Fe, but this thing is something id want confirmation on. Im not interested on other differences on Fi vs Fe, since i understand the functions pretty well.
 

Mondo

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That's kind of an important difference with Fi/Fe.
Fe is more sympathetic while Fi is more empathetic.
Having stronger Fe than Fi, I don't have to put myself into someone's shoes to feel bad for somebody. I just see how they feel and that's enough for me.
 

Poki

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I think human beings of all sorts would feel a mix of both.

Maybe the mix and how it is processed is impacted by cognitive perspective, but to say an Fe user doesn't empathize at all with a victim is a bit ridiculous, IMO.

I dont always empathize. I was driving down the street one day, saw an old man fall off the curb and his head started bleeding a little. I pulled over helped him up, asked him if everything was ok, if he needed help with anything else. He said no, thanked me and I went on my way. I didnt really feel any empathy or anything at all. I didnt think "I should do this because its the right thing to do" I just do it. I have helped alot of people on the side of the road changing tires, pull people out of ditches, mud, etc. Helped people out and it has nothing to do with putting myself in their position. I feel good when I help people and when I dont I feel bad for not helping them. I dont always go any deeper then that which could cause me to empathize.

There is alot of things I dont empathize with other people. I can easily do things without empathizing, without having to fight myself and feel like I have to empathize, doing it just because. I guess I have seen to many times where empathy tends to overlap with personal feelings about things and causes problems with helping others. Sometimes letting go of empathy and disconnecting allows you to help a person impersonally in an emapthetic standpoint, but it doesnt mean you dont care about that person. You dont have to feel what that person feels to care and to help.
 

Poki

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Ok, I can buy that :)
What happens when an Fe user goes to a foreign land with differing values? Which will be given a higher weightage?

Fe dom becomes stressed, wouldnt know what to do and reach ISTP and try to understand because nothing they are doing is working.

Now what if they dont recognize they are in a place with differing values. Would they continue to push with Fe drive, when would they reach the ISTP shadow?
 

gromit

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I guess I have seen to many times where empathy tends to overlap with personal feelings about things and causes problems with helping others. Sometimes letting go of empathy and disconnecting allows you to help a person impersonally in an emapthetic standpoint, but it doesnt mean you dont care about that person. You dont have to feel what that person feels to care and to help.

This is actually something I've been realizing/working on... sometimes feeling what the other person feels can get in the way of what needs to be done or your own capacity to help.
 

Liesl

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I don't know if I'd call Fe "societal." More environmental. It may seem like hairsplitting but I think it's an important distinction. Fe users are perfectly capable of being counter-cultural and societal. It's just that their source of "F-ness" will always be external.

This is very spot on, I think.

Fe is more about recognizing feelings and determining how those feelings affect your connection with other people and furthermore, how to manage them in a way that keeps everybody in a group connected.

Fi is more about recognizing feelings and figuring out what that says about you as an individual, honoring them whether they keep the group connected or not, valuing feelings that differentiate people from their social fabric.
 

21%

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Ill use this situation as an example:

You see someone(that you dont know) fall with his bike and he gets hurt pretty badly, but not so badly that his life would be in danger.

Fi user would set himself in the bikers situation and therefore feel bad for him. Using Ne or Se in combination with Fi. Fi user with Ne would think what if this would happen to me(the whole situation about falling, maybe he was hurt somewhere else(thats not showing) also, people looking at him but just passing by etc) and maybe Si if he would have been in similar situation before. Fi user Se user would see the wounds, and set himself in the situation where he would have this kind of wounds himself and therefore feeling bad for him.

Fe user would feel bad for the guy without setting himself in the bikers situation. Im not sure how Ni/Si would effect this, maybe someone can explain it? Or maybe Si/Ni wouldnt make as big of a difference to this for Fe users than Se/Ne does make for Fi users?

So, both Fi and Fe users would get to same conclusion about this(feeling bad for the guy who fell with his bike), but from different perspectives(setting himself on the bikers situation or not).

Do you guys think this is the correct process or Fi/Fe way of extroverting their feeling function?

I understand where you're coming from and I think you're right about the fact that Fi/Fe yielding the same result (feeling) from different perspectives. However, I don't think the difference can be illustrated by something as simple as seeing someone falling off a bike. I think physical pain is so strongly hardwired into the human brain it doesn't actually go through a thought process. This means, like Jennifer said, that every human being would have a reaction to that, no matter what function they use.

I saw an old man fall and sprain his ankle the other day and felt extremely bad -- not because I should feel bad or because society expects me to feel bad, and probably not even because I had fallen and hurt myself in the past and know it hurts either. I saw a human being in pain, and that pain hurt me too. I wished I could share it, to help lessen it, to make it go away. I think it's more at the instinctual level.

I remember another situation, where I observed a difference between my Fe and another person's Fi:

We were at a casual boat party (We rented a boat and could drive it up and down the canals. Considering the fact that no one knew how to drive a boat, and alcohol was allowed on board, I have no idea why it was even legal). One of my friends got really drunk and climbed up onto the roof and laid there, half-conscious, and no one could get her down because she would yell at them not to touch her. Then she leaned over and threw up.

The thought that ran through my head was "No, this is bad! She shouldn't have gotten herself so drunk. It's so dangerous. How can we get her down? How can we make sure she doesn't fall overboard?" I was trying to come up with ways to get her out of that place. Should we get some guys to drag her off the roof against her will? Should someone just sit there and hold her in case she falls?

Beside me, my INFP boyfriend gave a soft sigh and simply said "Ow, I know that feeling."

It struck me then that I was looking from 'outside' at the whole situation. I was concerned with her safety. Everyone's safety. The scenario was bad and I was trying to remedy it. He was looking from the 'inside', empathizing with her bad feeling when she was throwing up.
 
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