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What Happens When Type XXXX Becomes Depressed?

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

Give me a fourth dot.
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
1,053
MBTI Type
NeTi
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'm an ENTP.

When I became depressed (and this came in response to believing in a "worse future", hence my Ne capacities were rendered useless), I was basically really withdrawn, stubborn, self-loathing, and convinced that my whole life was going to suck because everything in the past had sucked. The future repeats the past, right? No hope.

I actually went through my 20s convinced I was fated to be on the losing side of life. Eh, I comforted myself with chocolate and old music. So in my case, it's actually fairly stereotypically along Si lines. (I could go into details about how bad it felt emotionally, but I'll spare you. The habits and thought patterns themselves were very Si-controlled).
 

Flâneuse

don't ask me
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
947
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Causes: neurochemical predisposition; low sense of self-worth that stems from having unrealistic expectations of myself; feeling isolated and poorly understood, acknowledged and appreciated; confusion about who I am; general sense of disconnection from anything meaningful

probably not type-specific:
When I had mild depression my feelings alternated between sadness and apathy. I could still function as far as performing tasks, but I didn't have the emotional energy to connect with people. Most of the time I felt completely empty and disconnected from everything, like a shell and like I was only half-existing. When I did feel something, it was often just a sinking feeling of being completely alone and without hope. Like many depressed people, I felt the need to hide my feelings from others, to wear a mask of "normality" around them. I felt vulnerable, and like exposing my feelings would make me even more so.

type-specific:
I also go into stagnant FiSi mode as the path of least resistance - when I'm depressed, using an extroverted function or getting out of my shell feels exhausting. It's like I'm blind to the possibility of positive change and I'm completely stuck in this rut where I keep replaying the same memories and thoughts in my mind, as well as doing the same things over and over because I don't have the energy to "change direction". I was also hypersensitive to criticism from others because I was already so raw from excessive self-criticism (not the helpful kind that encourages you to improve yourself, but the kind that tells you you're worthless) (could be hypercritical xSTJ shadow turned inward).
 
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