T women & F men

[Kasper]

I think that society’s expectations and stereotypes of femininity make life hard for most NT women, but even more so for an ENTJ women. When a man is an ENTJ, he is respected as a strong leader; when a woman is an ENTJ she is seen as being a domineering bitch.

But maybe that's just me. idk

Do any of you T girls hate physical contact to those who aren't family?

It's not just you.

I honestly don't hate though, it's just that I can find it hella awkward. There seems to be a gap between those who I know well/know me well and those who I've recently met and don't know at all, someone in between that who's a friend but not way close is the most awkward for me unless they're the type of person who hugs everyone, then I just go with it.

What I really hate is when I'm in a a semi-social business environment when men shake hands with other men but insist on kissing me on the cheek. Hate it!

 

[/DG/]

\What I really hate is when I'm in a a semi-social business environment when men shake hands with other men but insist on kissing me on the cheek. Hate it!

Lol! Awkward much?

 

[the state i am in]

i don't know if i can handle a predominantly t woman. regulating my fluctuating moods, maintaining motivation, connecting with others emotionally, these are what i have to do every day. i just don't understand what to do in the absence of warmth, and the anger that comes out more aggressively from ts than fs- it makes me flare up and i feel like getting out the razorblades (to be used on you not me). (can we say doorslam?)

at best it feels very like, well maybe you can be my business manager, or my guidance counselor, ahem part of my decision-making cabinet, but that's it- bc how the hell are you going to keep me interested and excited in this b & w photography? i need color! and i'm tired of this prison porridge for dinner every night.

"oh, he's just being moody again"

it doesn't really make sense to me, it probably makes the best (most effective) long-term partnership (a T and an F), but as a male where am i going to get F, connect with others emotionally, if it's not with other women? i need it, it's what inspires me. it's frustrating.

 

[Shadow]

It's not just you.

I honestly don't hate though, it's just that I can find it hella awkward. There seems to be a gap between those who I know well/know me well and those who I've recently met and don't know at all, someone in between that who's a friend but not way close is the most awkward for me unless they're the type of person who hugs everyone, then I just go with it.

What I really hate is when I'm in a a semi-social business environment when men shake hands with other men but insist on kissing me on the cheek. Hate it!

Hah, at least they do that though! It happens frequently that a man might kiss other women on the cheek but then shake my hand; I remember it happening this week, and worse still, the man kind of went to lean forward then looked again into my eyes and decided, on second thoughts, it was a handshake for me.
I swear even though I look like a woman most men think of me as a guy.
I also used to go for T men but those relationships were full of anger, and I noticed that more sensitive men (didn't know about T/F then, but it fits) were the type to go after me. In the end I decided to give it a go, despite always having been insistent that I like dominant alpha-males, and my current relationship with an ISFJ is the most successful one ever.
It is funny when our stereotypical gender roles overlap though, although we've never discussed it. Like I try not to inadvertently say anything that hurts his feelings; I'm the one telling him to stand up for himself more at work; he always tries to look after me and tells me he just likes to see that I'm happy and sometimes I feel protective of him. I don't think we look odd to the outside world, because we're not very extreme, but I do think it's a rare dynamic to relationships. I also have a strong T-function, I'm fiercely independent in my life/opinions etc and I can back up my thoughts with rational, logical thinking. Such clarity can scare men away, but I've found it's what attracts men with strong F-functions to me. Having said that, I dislike irrationality generally, so they do have to be logical thinkers at the same time as being feelers That's surprisingly not a paradox.

 

[Amethyst]

i don't know if i can handle a predominantly t woman. regulating my fluctuating moods, maintaining motivation, connecting with others emotionally, these are what i have to do every day. i just don't understand what to do in the absence of warmth, and the anger that comes out more aggressively from ts than fs- it makes me flare up and i feel like getting out the razorblades (to be used on you not me). (can we say doorslam?)

at best it feels very like, well maybe you can be my business manager, or my guidance counselor, ahem part of my decision-making cabinet, but that's it- bc how the hell are you going to keep me interested and excited in this b & w photography? i need color! and i'm tired of this prison porridge for dinner every night.

"oh, he's just being moody again"

it doesn't really make sense to me, it probably makes the best (most effective) long-term partnership (a T and an F), but as a male where am i going to get F, connect with others emotionally, if it's not with other women? i need it, it's what inspires me. it's frustrating.

I don't really know why you're generalizing T's as heartless and cold, even if it is predominant. Sure they might not sympathize the same way you do, but they will, nonetheless. It's like me saying how I can't stand F's because they call me selfish and start crying because I forgot to compliment them the minute they walked through the door in a prom dress. Look, I just saw you buy that dress and try it on, I said it looked good, why do I have to keep saying it, and when I don't it makes you offended? Extreme example, I'm aware, but all I'm saying is that T's are capable of emotionally connecting to others too, and are certainly not black and white in the range of emotions. They might not see a need to express them as an F might. Just accept the differences.

 

[Amethyst]

And to just add to the topic...

I've dealt a lot of issues with being a T, and an E along with that. Many people (predominantly ESFPs) call me selfish and heartless, even though I have given them my emotional attention and just ignore their feelings once...just ONCE.

No one seems to take me seriously. Here's a good example. There's a friend of mine who is as F as can get, and she's in one of my classes. We wrote a paper on the same topic, mine obviously being about ideas and theories and such, while her's, in my opinion, looked like a 5th grader wrote in their journal. I have a friend who's also a T who's also in that class, and I thought her paper was really good, well organized, and unique. (We proofread everyone's papers). The F girl got an A, me and my other T friend got C's. He's a very biased professor.

Another thing I've found issues for is relationships. I've given up completely, because no matter how attractive I am, my personality is 'what you see is what you get'. I don't hide anything. A lot of other girls do EVERYTHING to get the guy, even if it's changing who they are in front of them and give everything they have in a relationship, and I can't do that either. I only give everything to people I respect, which is only a few of my friends. Because I haven't been in a relationship since...ever, people suspect me that I'm automatically gay, or crazy. I've been nicknamed 'lez' because I have shown very little interest in the opposite gender, but hey, I'm picky, possibly asexual, but that never crosses their mind. Even my parents say I need to change myself to get a guy, which I can understand if there are serious social issues with me, but the only issue with me is that I think and analyze things way too much or whatever. It's ridiculous.

 

[Uytuun]

it's frustrating.

Yeah, this sounds like frustration talking.

Capacity for warmth and intense emotional connection, Ts (can) have it!

 

[Antimony]

The person I have the most issues with understanding me is my INFJ mom. She regards everything I do as like, alien or something. She is ALWAYS calling me selfish and ungrateful

My ISTP dad kindaaaa gets me...on some level. But I am still like, Ne.

[edit]: ^ never mind. I guess he really does dislike ENTPs.

And a lot of my F friends call me heartless too....and so do people around me. In my biology class, we are leading debate teams, and everyone in the classroom regards me as nuts because I am completely taking control of my team to maximize our chances of winning, instead of messing around.

Hell, even the GUYS say I am a robot...I have been called 'Spock' on more than one occasion (I really dunno why, though)

It is just really annoying that people assume I have no feelings....but then again, it kind of comes in handy as a front. Like people are afraid to attack me...however, people are sometimes afraid to approach me.

/end rant

 

[miss fortune]

my ENFJ sis is usually considered the mean one, though I'm considered the colder one out of the two of us... to be truly wicked seems to take some strong emotions

sure, I don't cry at movies, and if someone else cries at a perfectly rediculous scene I might just laugh... I can't help it I'm usually described as nice by people though... sometimes nice and bitchy at the same time, but I am quite capable of weilding my Fe

Just like I know some pretty calculating Feelers out there... T/F doesn't mean heartless v sappy :rolli:

of course, I'm a T with a T, but I've gotten along with strong feelers in the past as well