Indirectness is tairing my brain apart.

[lorkan]

It makes me rethink everything all the time and secondguess to no end. This indirectness from perceivers is making my head spinn. I seem to be constantly pissing of or hurting P's but can't do aything about it. NOw just recently I was talking to a friend online and I guess I was giving of this depressed vibe without knowing it... until she talked to her friend (who was in the same chat channel as us) giving out examples of people that had characteristics I recognized in myself. First I was not sure if it was a message to me that she wondered why I had kind of changed (I think she thought I was playing mind games with her by acting very differently then before) and if I mentally ill and stalking her and shit. Anyway she seemed to be telling this weird story to her friend while i was listening and she seemed pretty heated up, angry and stuff. It all made me kind of tired and I just left the fucking chat to then type to her something like: "if i spread my bad mood i didnt mean to be pissing u off... and if its hurting you i can understand if u want to end the friendship, i guess it would be best for both."
I've been stuck in this sort of spiral very often recently, and she was mentioning a friend (but i guess she ment me) not being content and showing different vibes.
WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO!?

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

Okay. I'm going to write exactly what I think. IN MY OPINION.

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Urgh.

YOU make me angry. and your friend also makes me angry.

First. I hate it when people say what you said to her. Because

A. if comes off like you are trying to guilt trip her.
B. really weak and emotional.
C. the total opposite of what you acutally said.

I know you felt bad what happened. It made you angry, it confused you, it frustrated you; and you think the probability of her discontinuing her friendship with you is high.

My male friend does this all the time.

I don't know your entire situation. but. if you want to get across to her. discuss your issue rationally. I don't see any proper reasoning in that statement you made to her.

You should've told her about what you thought of how she behaved. Gave her an understanding of WHY you seemed like you were in a bad mood, instead of giving up completely and telling her 'it would be best"

I don't know what kind of friends you are keeping; because friends don't usually burn bridges over mundane and generic problems like these.

I hate it when someone gives up that easily. It's makes them seem unreliable, shady, indecisive, and it probably made you look LESS of a friend.

If you want to maintain a friendship. YOU must fight for it.

Tell her exactly what you think, no emotions. What did you think of what she was doing? Was she being indirect and acutally referring to you? What did you do to make her think you were in a bad mood? Why didn't she just discuss it.

Why didn't YOU say anything about it earlier? instead of ending a conversation so dramatically?



If SHE'S acutally willing to end a friendship that easily, over something so idiotic. Then she wasn't a good friend anyways.

if she was indirectly trying to insult you, or beat around the bush to hint it; then you're better off without her friendship.
That is what I refer to as a Bitch.


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I'm being quite blunt, but this is how I see it. I've been there.

 

[lorkan]

You'reWrongI'mRight: Your words are sweet music to my ears and eyes!
You tell me things that makes me aware of my own actions.

Though I actually got big emotional and psychological problems that I think are from some sort of trauma, can't point out what trauma exactly... (I've been through alot)

This INTP guy seems to be on the spot about what im thinking and feeling http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/other-psychology-topics/31483-standards-other-people.html

I really can't rationalise my actions enough. And sometimes I really can't feel my feelings when it's appropriate. It's like ive lost everything I've learned abou how to act "normal". I'm not seeking sympathy about it, but understanding. Or am I beoynd salvation...? (ohh here I go dramatic again)