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  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009

    Default Acting like your shadow in a relationship?

    I had a sudden insight. I realized that I behave like an ESTP in the relationship with my bf. maybe this is just a crazy figment of my brain, but it somehow makes sense to me..... I know ESTP is not even always considered to be the shadow of the ESTP, but somehow I found many things in my behaviour pointing towards this: I get extremely active and want to do something all the time, I do not focus on the future anymore but on what is going on at the moment, get extremely perceptive of my surroundings, try to do all the talking and get my bf out of his shell, don't like planning in advance, become extremely spontaneous and am not bothered anymore by spontaneous changes, even like them and seek them, want to be active in a physical way, take things literally he says, start to argue the opposite site just for the fun of it.... I don't know if this has anything to do with the ESTP, but somehow, I found it makes sense.
    I also think that it may be possible that HE is acting like his shadow in return. I am not sure. Maybe he just acts differently with everyone else than me (appears as an introvert towards me, but is really definitively energized by other people, never wants to leave a party before the last person is gone, gets restless if he has to stay at home for too long; is really argumentative with other people, much more than with me, voices his opinion with other people and fights for it, in contrast to me etc.)....
    do you think is is possible to be in a "shadow-relationship" :laughing:????

    This was just a crazy theory that I came up with probably spending way too much time on my master thesis and getting crazy slowly.....

    Does anyone have similar experiences?

  2. #2
    Senior Member edcoaching's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008


    Well...ESTP and INFJ are one of the two type opposite combinations that marry more frequently than stats would predict (the other is ISTJ-ENFP). Since I did it I've always thought I was attracted ot someone who always had great ideas for getting out of my head and doing something. He met me on an afternoon when I was swimming laps, so he knew doing stuff was part of me, and then says he liked hanging out with a works.

    Most people are not permanently attracted to people just like themselves. Boring

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