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E is in the I of the observer.

samIam

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
103
MBTI Type
ENTP
I have always thought of myself as more of an I than an E but every psychology teacher and every personality test I have ever taken tell me I’m an E go figure.

I prefer, most of the time, to be the quiet guy in the back. The truth is I rarely speak to people first but for some reason people talk to me. When people speak to me I respond politely but I rarely elaborate my answers or initiate conversations until I know someone. I will greet people with a hello or what’s up when I see them make eye contact but that’s it. I may also give someone I don’t know a smile or a slight nod when I see them but I generally don’t strike up any conversations with people I don’t know.

I’m not sure what happens when I do get into long conversations with strangers but it happens all the time. As far as I can tell it usually starts out with just being polite and continues for hours sometimes for the same reason.

For instance, while waiting in a line at a convenience store the other day, this guy I’ve never seen before picks up one of those candy/toy combo things and presses the button and it starts shaking. He looks at me and laughs “Ha, look at this, it shakes. Can you believe this? Every since they made vibrators for women they have been making everything shake.”

Now, I had nothing to say to this. What does a person say? I mean it was sort of funny, but a little shocking and honestly made me feel uncomfortable. But then he continues.

“Well have you noticed that?”

I still had no reply but feeling I had to say something said “uh, no…not really,” because quite honestly, that’s all I had at the moment. Despite all the awkward conversations I’ve had, I’m still no good at them.

“I think they do it so them gays can buy them without being embarrassed.” He laughed.

I didn’t really follow the logic so all I did was let out a little nervous laugh and shot a glance at my friend who was enjoying the entire show. My friend knew what was going on, this was just the start. I wondered why the guy was only asking me these things when my friend was there and there were a few other people in line too. None of them were getting asked anything. Just me.

“You laugh, but it’s true, they buy them and then go home and use them on their boyfriends. He he he. You see they don’t want people to know that’s what they’re going to do so that’s why they buy these kinds of things. You know to hide the fact that they’re gay. I mean who would buy one of these things if they were just going to eat it. I’ve never seen any straight man buy one have you?”

Again I feel the need to be polite. I answer with “No, not really.” I meant to say, that is, the message I was trying to convey, was I hadn’t see any man buy one, straight or gay. But all that came out was “No, not really.”

“If you ask them how it tastes they’ll say they don’t know, they buy them for someone else. I know they do. Ha ha ha” he continued.

By this time the cashier started ringing up his items. He started going on and on about how being gay was sick blah blah blah while she rang up all the stuff he had put down on the counter. When she finished ringing everything up he paid for it and started walking out. I noticed the candy was still on the counter.

“Hey, you left your candy on the counter.” I informed him.” And there was a snicker from someone in line. I had never considered whether or not he had paid for the candy and wasn’t implying anything I just didn’t want him to leave something behind that I thought he paid for.

“Real funny. Do I look gay to you.”

Now, I wasn’t trying to offend the guy. He was quite large and I wanted to get home before the game started so I acted quickly to defuse the situation. “No sir, I figured you were buying it for somebody else.”
-
Everyone in earshot erupted in laughter. It took me a second to even figure out what everyone was even laughing at.

The reason I bring this up is a friend of mine and I were discussing whether or not I was really an E and he brought this up as an E moment. I insist it’s an I moment that happened to look somewhat like an E moment only because I could not escape. He, as well as some of the other people that were there, tell the story different from me though. Their version paints the scene as though I were the center of some performance or more E like.

I suspect that many people may see me as an E only because I am polite and as a result some times people will interpret my behavior different than what it really is.

Does this make sense?
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
ROFL!!!!!!! That story is HILARIOUS. What a creep! I'm glad you shut him down, even if unintentionally. People like that have a way of wiggling themselves into the noose for you. :D

And as to the E or I thing, I'm what I call a moderate E. I have the same level of blunt force of an ENTJ but the deep abyss of feeling and need for seclusion as an INFJ. I need a lot of recharge time on my own, but I'm not an introvert. Does that help any?
 

ptgatsby

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
4,476
MBTI Type
ISTP
I have no idea if this is an E or I thing... but I have to say... that was an awesome two lines.
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,741
MBTI Type
INfj
Well the only "E" part I found with the whole incident was this:

“No sir, I figured you were buying it for somebody else.”

It looks very much on the outside as a tongue in cheek Ne joke. I think what's going on inside you is probably a better indicator of your type though.

Let's try looking at this from another approach. How do you deal with information? If a random idea pops up in your head... what's the first thing that you do?
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I have no idea if this is an E or I thing... but I have to say... that was an awesome two lines.

Back-to-back witty zingers. Delicious.
 

samIam

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
103
MBTI Type
ENTP
Well the only "E" part I found with the whole incident was this:



It looks very much on the outside as a tongue in cheek Ne joke. I think what's going on inside you is probably a better indicator of your type though.

Let's try looking at this from another approach. How do you deal with information? If a random idea pops up in your head... what's the first thing that you do?


It really depends. If someone is around I don't have a choice usually it just kind of spills out on it's own but if I have time to think about it first I'll only share it if it's not totally out of the norm.
 

samIam

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
103
MBTI Type
ENTP
ROFL!!!!!!! That story is HILARIOUS. What a creep! I'm glad you shut him down, even if unintentionally. People like that have a way of wiggling themselves into the noose for you. :D

And as to the E or I thing, I'm what I call a moderate E. I have the same level of blunt force of an ENTJ but the deep abyss of feeling and need for seclusion as an INFJ. I need a lot of recharge time on my own, but I'm not an introvert. Does that help any?
That makes perfect sense. It sounds like me. If I am with friends and we are doing something entertaining I will more often then not be in the middle of everything. But if we are sitting around doing nothing, watching TV for instance, I may be a bazillion miles away in my own head. Often I will hear them ask a question like do you remember what the name of the movie is that guy played in?

"what guy"

"the one that was just in that commercial."

"No..sorry I didn't see the commercial, I wasn't paying attention."

I may not even be able to tell you what the movie we are watching is about because my mind may have focused for 5 minutes on the movie the entire time it was on.
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,741
MBTI Type
INfj
It really depends. If someone is around I don't have a choice usually it just kind of spills out on it's own but if I have time to think about it first I'll only share it if it's not totally out of the norm.

*nods* Agree with Piranha on this one... If it just spills out, then you're an E... just not an excessive E... and that's a good thing. :yes:
 

The_Liquid_Laser

Glowy Goopy Goodness
Joined
Jul 11, 2007
Messages
3,376
MBTI Type
ENTP
I have always thought of myself as more of an I than an E but every psychology teacher and every personality test I have ever taken tell me I’m an E go figure.

For most of my life I'd thought I was an introvert. I didn't even think I might be an extravert until I was telling someone I was an introvert and they said, "What? No, you are the life of the party!" On MBTI I always score fairly close to the E/I border. I basically had to read through several of the various descriptions before I decided I am ENTP.

I've actually heard similar things from other ENxP's on these boards, so I think it's pretty common for us to view ourselves and introverts. I spend a lot of time in my head. But my energy really comes from an outward source: people, exciting events, etc... really energize me.
 

wolfmaiden14

*ears perk up*
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Messages
590
MBTI Type
Infx
That story is GOLD! I wish I could have been there!!!

The I/E seems to be a rather fluctuating thing, and the best example of how this whole type thing really works as more of a spectrum than a title. As people have said, it's all about energy. If being around people energizes you and being alone drains you, or if being alone energizes you and being around people drains you. Of course, I think it would also depend on the mood of the group, and how much you like those people, and the interactions between them all. I'm usually reserved but there are a few people who will totally bring me out of my shell if they're around. (or if I'm crushing on someone there :blush:)

Oy.. spacing out with my friends happens all the time. Unfortunately I usually can't blame it on not paying attention. I'm just so much of a space case I don't even understand what they're saying until they repeat it a couple times.
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
I totally understand the confusion between being an E and an I. I'm usually a quiet-ish person who enjoys listening to other people talk than talking myself. And I spend a fair amount of time on my own in my room. But I'm an E. Oh well. :p

It's good to hear I'm not the only one.

On another note, I think an INTP would have dealt with that above situation differently - by mostly ignoring the guy (not really bothing to be polite since the situation was rather awkward), and definitely not mentioning the candy left on the counter! :p
 
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