Analyze/react spontaneously - HOW????

[Little Linguist]

Question: Is there any way I can develop the skill of analyzing and summing up situations immediately so that I can simply react in an appropriate fashion at the time when the situation occurs?

I'm really sick of thinking of all the great things I could have/should have said after the fact.

Does anyone else have the tendency to analyze things first after the fact? It really gets my goat because at the time when something happens, I will not be able to react spontaneously in a correct fashion. Especially if something is shocking, I will simply be shocked and keep silent. I will have a 'gut feeling' indeed, "I feel something. Something's wrong here. What is she REALLY saying," but I won't be able to assess until I have quiet, so I simply go about my business until I have that quiet time.

Then, on the way home on the bus or train, I will sit and think about the situation. Insights bombard my brain in a kind of, "Aha!!!!!" fashion.

The most aggravating part is that these insights do not come to me immediately - especially not at work, where my energy is directed outward. It is only in moments of silence and reflection that these insights dawn upon me out of the blue, after pondering, sifting, and analyzing in great depth.

As a result, most people underestimate me probably because they think I don't get it or even don't think at all. But I need QUIET to think, or I cannot THINK. When I'm really extraverted and teaching, I am so focused on other matters that I cannot process my ideas and sift until afterwards.

Now, in matters where I have a great deal of experience, like teaching, I can react spontaneously because I have so much knowledge and experience that if someone asks me something, I will generally know the answer or know where to find it.

However, today I was confronted with a situation regarding the business and the future implications, and I was so overwhelmed that I could not calm my mind and focus. So I simply wait, say nothing, have my weird insights/feelings, but wait until afterwards to analyze.

When I then explain situations to my husband, he'll demand accusingly, "Well, why didn't you tell HER that? IF you just keep quiet, people will think you're stupid and don't get it. You get it: you just don't say anything. OPEN YOUR MOUTH," which is kind of ironic because I'm talkative and outgoing the rest of the time.

It's SO FRUSTRATING. Grrr. I really want to get over this negative habit.

 

[Asterion]

experience. Or you could just bring up what you wanted to later on and hope that nobody made any decisions based on your silence.

 

[nolla]

I find this irritating as well. I see how I am sending mixed signals, as you might hurt me today and I might still spend the day with you, but tomorrow when I have had my time to think about it and decide that what you did was wrong... well, it might be that I wont say anything, if it wasn't too bad. Or maybe I will refer to this situation when you do it again. But I might also let you have it now, and I am frustrated about this because it makes me look like I "imagined" something wrong in the situation when in fact I just had to make sure that I am right with how it felt.

 

[Little Linguist]

YES!!!!!!! GRRR!!!!! It drives me crazy. Worst of all everyone asks me, "Why didn't you say anything BEFORE?"

And it's like, "Well, fuck, why do I have to react five seconds after you say something? Is there an unspoken rule that after you say something I am pissed at, I have 12 hours, 43 minutes, and 23.918 seconds to react before my statute of limitations on reacting in a pissed off manner has expired, after which any and all indications of an unsatisfied manner have been rendered illogical and untimely?"

Of course, I don't say things like that literally. I just think them.

 

[tcda]

My impression is that INXX in general aren't good at reacting quickly. Depends what situation we are talking about it - very dangerous situations demand it, but then that depends on your knowledge of what you're doing, or survival isntincts, or physical abilities, or whatever.

Otherwise I think it's not an indispensable skill: just take some time to think, and admit it. People often appreciate that you are actually thinking about what they did/said.

 

[nolla]

The good thing about this is that sometimes people ask me "What is wrong with me.." type of questions. Those times I can give quite accurate or at least thoroughly examined view of them. And I can do it without getting the least bit emotional, even though my analysis basically comes from how I have felt they wronged me in the past. They never seem to realize that when I am talking about their behavior towards someone else I am actually talking about myself vs them. It's quite handy way of telling things. They don't get their guards up...

 

[IZthe411]

Your type's not listed, but it sounds like you operate primarily on some kind of introverted perceiving function. It's not a negative thing. You are the type to think then speak. A lot of people who react immediately have to come back and apologize for blurting out wrong/inappropriate things. You, on the otherhand will take in the situation, analyze, and come back. Your crime? You face offering input after it's needed, but no one can charge you for looking like an idiot for saying something wrong. Stupidity is more recognized on what's said over what's not said.

As an introvert, you not speaking up can come up in feedback, especially in some business settings, but is it a severe hinder to you?

If you want to change it, you'll have to consicously work on your extraverted perception, which will help, but how comfortable are you in dealing with the risk that you'll put your foot in your mouth?

 

[JustHer]

You need to develop Se, little grasshopper

 

[Little Linguist]

Well here's the crazy thing: When something is not important to me, I end up putting my foot in my mouth CONSTANTLY. It's rather embarrassing.

However, if I'm dealing with an important/critical situation at work or if I'm dealing with an issue regarding a friendship/relationship or if I'm working out future plans, I will be a total fruitcake and not know what to say.

Then I sift through things.

 

[Venom]

so LL is an IXXP now?

 

[Little Linguist]

so LL is an IXXP now?

No. I'm not. And this is not about type. This is about learning how to act spontaneously to situations because I suck at it.

 

[Venom]

No. I'm not. And this is not about type. This is about learning how to act spontaneously to situations because I suck at it.

well I guess we can cross EXXP of the list...

Okay, okay, okay... ill stop trolling

 

[Little Linguist]

Don't make me get grumpy!!!

No, but seriously. I really want to try to improve because it's really annoying.

 

[NewEra]

Keep your mind free during the situations when you're more engaged. It's a lot to do with your state of mind. Don't think so much, whether you're alone or with others. Just go about doing your work, but there's no use just constantly thinking about a particular issue for a long time. You will then react/analyze better spontaneously.

If I don't say anything or react toward something at a particular time, it doesn't bother me in the least later on. What's in the past is in the past. You can't re-live it, so why even waste your time and energy thinking "Why didn't you do this... or you should've said that..." ??