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Tell me something, introverts.....

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?
How often you don't feel drained around people ?
In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?
Describe your normal conversation stile ?
How much alone time do you need during a average day ?
 
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NewEra

New member
Joined
Dec 21, 2008
Messages
3,104
MBTI Type
I
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?

I feel tired after much socializing, both physically and mentally (but mostly mentally). When overly stimulated, I would just like to get away and be alone. Sometimes I'll feel sleepy when around many people for a while, but I'll be wide awake with few people / when alone.

How often you don't feel drained around people ?

When we do an activity that is interesting to me, then I won't really feel drained. If it's a boring discussion or something, then there's an even greater likelihood I'll be drained.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?

When there is not much external stimulation, not many people, when I'm doing something of interest.

Describe your normal conversation stile ?

Brief, to-the-point, blunt, clear.

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?

Tough question, it varies depending on my energy during the day... I'd say, apart from sleep, probably several hours.
 

incubustribute

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2009
Messages
297
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Interesting questions...

1) I am drained by extremely extroverted people, especially if I can't keep up with them. ExTJ's are the most tiring for me typically. I can't seem to ever get much out of being in a room with more than about 4 or 5 people, so if there's a party I can't be there for too long or I start getting really anxious. It helps of course if it's people I know, but in most situations I prefer 3 or less.

2) If I'm with people that I'm comfortable around, I'm fine. I don't really see it in the typical terms of "gaining and losing energy," I just get anxious. But I'm most comfortable when discussing something of interest to me or if it's people I know very well.

3) I have found that at my shows (I'm in a band with simulatedworld) I am generally very happy and comfortable and don't really feel as if I'm losing mental energy, only physical energy if it's a long show.

4) Normal conversation style for me is definitely listen more/answer questions. I do better responding to a question or a statement than I do creating a topic or asking questions. In in interview I would be the one searching for the appropriate words to express my feelings on a situation, not the one posing the questions.

5) I do not like alone time. I may be a rare occurrence among introverts in this way, but alone time makes me very uncomfortable. I prefer being with my girlfriend or with a buddy or a roommate or something. I would say around lots of people I get anxious, whereas alone I get uneasy.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?
It is like being drained, literally, everything around me gets a piece of me and I just want to vanish on the spot. In a group setting or even individually, my mind starts to wander, I start to shut off to the outside world and it becomes a blur, like I'm physically in a slow-motion loop and the rest of the world is bustling around me.
How often you don't feel drained around people ?
It depends on my energy levels and the people I'm with. Good mood=lots of energy; bad mood=no energy. If I'm in a really good mood and the people I'm with are also in a good mood, then there's this pleasant energy give-take thing going on. I can go on pretty long like this.

However, if I feel the need to hold up the mood for the whole group all the time, then it gets old really fast and things just fall apart.

If I'm in a bad mood, everything irritates me and it's not even draining, it's an energy spill going on there and I need to get away, fast.
In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?
My own home. My absolute haven. The second I walk out of my front door, the drainage of energy begins, faster or slower, depending on my mood.
Describe your normal conversation stile ?
I listen, nod and smile. Others talk. I pay attention, give a few remarks here and there but I'm always distant, can't help it.
How much alone time do you need during a average day ?
As long as it takes. I don't have a steady, 9-5 lifestyle, so it differs greaty on a daily basis, and again, depends on my mood. I could survive as a hermit for the rest of my life.
 

Tiltyred

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
4,322
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
468
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?
I feel like I over-focus on people, and I exhaust myself.

How often you don't feel drained around people ?
Every once in a great while, someone else gives me energy, but mostly, I am spending it on them, so I would say I always feel drained around people.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?
My house.
A quiet place.

Describe your normal conversation stile ?
Smile and nod. Jump in with the word someone is looking for. Facilitate. Sometimes entertain.

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?
As much as I can possibly get. I will stay up late just to get alone time. (Sleeping doesn't count.) I could also be a hermit the rest of my life. I don't go out unless I have to.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?

I get drowsy, irritable, and feel like an energy vampire paid me a visit. When people try to interact with me I get rude and dismissive. All that I want to do for the rest of the day is withdraw. Depending on how much stimulation I want a good night's sleep will make me fine. If it's too much. I feel really bleh for the next day and need to get some more caffeine than usual.

How often you don't feel drained around people ?

I don't feel drained when they are people that I feel secure with/enjoy and who I have known for a long time. I also don't get drained when people don't talk constantly. The less people talk, the less drained I get.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?

At my house or a friend's house, or being in a moving vehicle. This may be different for a sensor, because I just take in the environment and enjoy it as I ride. Also being alone pretty much anywhere where I don't have to talk to people doesn't make me lose much at all.

Describe your normal conversation stile ?

I'm a responder about 65% of the time, the other 35% I am an initiator. It's just simply much easier to respond to what the other person is saying.
How much alone time do you need during a average day ?

~3-4 hours maybe, or just 2. Depends on what else I'm doing that day. But a day without alone time creates a decent amount of stress for me.
 

Kingfisher

full of love
Joined
May 24, 2009
Messages
1,685
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?
How often you don't feel drained around people ?


i usually don't feel drained by people. but it seems like i have a tipping point where socialization just suddenly collapses for me. after i have been around someone for a while i hit this tipping point, and then i start to very quickly become antsy and uncomfortable. it feels less draining to me and more like unreleased energy that is pent up. sort of like a solitary energy that can't be released around other people. so it doesn't feel like i am sleepy or sluggish, it feels more like claustrophobia and spinning out of control. i am talking about really extreme cases, of course.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?

it seems like i loose energy a lot slower if i meet people somewhere else, instead of having them come to me.
and at home i can socialize a lot longer.

Describe your normal conversation stile ?

clipped and concise, usually. i pass on a lot of conversations that don't interest me, and then throw myself at the ones that do.
i have a habit of interrupting people. but i like to be interrupted too.

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?

i think it depends on how much negativity i come up against during the day. but a couple of hours alone, i guess.
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?
My Se and Fe gets pulled into overdrive in regards to being aware of others feelings and doing something about it. I would prefer to be the one running all over the place with 5 different tasks going at once then being the one to figure out what needs to be done.

How often you don't feel drained around people ?
If left to my own accord I can avoid this as I will escape, if forced to stay in situations then alot.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?
Any physically demanding setting, analyzing problems, when I dont have to worry about how others feel.

Describe your normal conversation stile ?
Low energy(doesnt mean non emotional). I will not jump up and down with you, but I will be happy for you. I may not cry with you, but I will hurt inside. Also I enjoy analyzing reasons and troublshooting things, digging into things.

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?
Couple hours probably. Doesnt have to be alone, just mental time.
 

BlueSprout

/X\(:: :: )/X\
Joined
Oct 26, 2008
Messages
571
MBTI Type
pfni
Enneagram
4
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?

It depends on the people and the situation. When the pressure to 'perform' in social situations is greater or the subject is urgent/upsetting, then it drains me to the point that I feel like it's a battle to preserve my inner sense of calm at any given moment. The drained feeling is the result of gathering up my internal defenses and trying to deal with unanticipated changes that my momentarily rigid mind can't deal with.

How often you don't feel drained around people ?

Not often, unfortunately. Maybe a half a dozen times a month.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy?

Not by myself, actually. I'm most at ease in the company of 2-3 people I'm completely relaxed around. There's no pressure to carry the conversation and I'm not by myself enough to get carried away by negative thoughts.

Describe your normal conversation stile ?

When it's a good conversation, I'm cracking jokes and smiling all the time. I'm very bubbly and easy to engage. In serious discussions, I have no problem putting my ideas out, having them scrutinized and following the Ne train from topic to topic.

But if I'm uncomfortable around the people I'm with, I feel judged and dismissed. I clam up and get defensive about my opinions when they are pulled out of me. I'm not flexible enough to follow a conversation as it flows and get frustrated if a topic passes too quickly. It feels weird to me silent, so I say stupid crap to fulfill the (perceived) expectation that I speak, leading to yet more awkwardness.

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?

It depends on who I'm avoiding. :D
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,192
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
How exactly do you experience being drained my people and socializing ?

At some point, even if I feel fine and am enjoying myself, suddenly I will be restless, unable to focus on what is being said, and I feel physically exhausted and drained and want to just get away.

it's, uh, like feeling tired and drained, ya know?

If I can't get away physically, I will withdraw into myself.
If I do that, inevitably people start asking me if I'm "okay."

Note it can happen suddenly, just like a car finally runs out of gas and just stops.
I can seem fine and engaging one minute, then suddenly I drop "below minimum energy level" and I just shut down.

How often you don't feel drained around people ?
Kind of hard to answer. As long as my reservoir is not drained, I'm good to go. If I did not fill my reservoir completely the last time, my "good time" will be shorter.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?

Low-key and private. Maybe coffee house is the best-case social setting.
Louder events with more people/stimulation will drain me faster.

Describe your normal conversation stile ?

One on one; one on small group.

If I don't know people well, i just listen and smile and drop an occasional comment. If I can't get in a comment, I might eventually leave.

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?

I get a lot of alone time already because I work in a cube.
So I don't know the answer.

It depends on how rested I am... and how preoccupied with my current thoughts I am. If I am distracted by a project/task/interest, or if I'm tired, I'm more apt to avoid people.
 

William K

Uniqueorn
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
986
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
How exactly do you experiance being drained by people and socializing ?

Being both introverted and FiNe, it's kinda of like having a deflector shield up all the time. With people I'm not familiar with, it's both to keep my Fi toned down as well as to prevent my Ne from reading too many 'vibes' from the others. Maintaining that shield takes energy and it will drain after a while.

How often you don't feel drained around people ?

When I'm with family or close friends, I have no problem with having the shield down or at least weakened to such an extent that my antimatter engine is not stressed. Also if the purpose of the grouping is something I'm interested in (i.e not purely social only), then it's ok too. Especially if I don't have to lead the activity/conversation and can just be a part of the group. I love brainstorming at work when I can just throw out ideas.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?

Strangely enough, it is one where I spend a lot of physical energy. I go to the gym regularly and sometimes I can go into an automatic mode.

Describe your normal conversation style ?

"Seek first to understand, then be understood". Definitely quiet and reserved instead of blurting out everything I'm thinking (again some form of shield)

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?

Well, there are certainly times when I prefer to be left alone, even at work. My colleagues know me well enough now that if I give single word or grunt answers, don't bug me! :) Can't put it into numbers though of the exact hours or minutes...
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?

I get irritated or stressed.

How often you don't feel drained around people ?

It's somewhat always there, but it gets stronger when there are lots of people and people I don't know well, or people I don't like.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?

Some familiar place with familiar people.

Describe your normal conversation stile ?

Hmm... I don't know. Either I talk and joke about trivial things, or I discuss. There can be different style depending on my enthusiasm over the subject. Sometimes I might shout, sometimes I stare into the distance and keep my voice down.

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?

Depends on my level of stress. If I'm not stressed, none.
 

Aerithria

Senior Thread Terminator
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
568
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?
I get very tired and irritable, and my tolerance for idiocy drops right through the floor. I generally zone out, or take a nap even, if there's no real way to isolate myself. People trying to talke to me end up getting glared at.

How often you don't feel drained around people ?
If they're people I know very well, or people I don't know who will leave me alone, I'm generally fine. People talking to me about nothing, asking me for favours, or people who are talking to other people about nothing around me sap my energy pretty fast.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?
Quiet settings, such as computer labs and libraries, and anywhere that I feel like I have air (such as the outdoors, or rooms with lots of windows).

Describe your normal conversation stile ?
I tend to listen. Most of my friends (and family) seem to like saying their part in conversations, and as they're mostly extroverted (even though a few of them are convinced they're introverts for whatever reason), I tend to get drowned out. I generally interject a thing or two during the conversation, but I'm usually not talking for more than a few moments at a time.

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?
I tend to shut myself in my room the minute I get home, and stay there the rest of the night. So, on average, about 6 or so hours. This, of course, increases when I'm stressed or I've been out all day and decreases when I'm in a good mood.
 

d4mselfly

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
107
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5
How exactly do you experience being drained by people and socializing?
I'll get physically tired and liable to zone out. If someone tries to draw me back, I may snap at them, or my answers will get shorter and more curt to the point where I'll only acknowledge things with a nod or murmur of agreement/dissent. That's generally enough to get out of the situation unless someone is really persistent or oblivious.

How often don't you feel drained around people?
As long as it isn't pointless chatter or small talk, I can actually last a while. If I'm telling someone about something, as long as they are listening and can keep up with my speed, it's not bad. It helps if they keep me going by asking questions, because I think of it more as revisiting what I already know by repeating and going through the motions than actively "teaching."

In what surroundings do you lose the smallest amount of energy?
I can manage just about anywhere, but it's easier if I have a book or iPod if the location isn't quiet.

Describe your normal conversation style
If it's interesting, I'll be animated and quite happy to share what I know. If I'm not interested, I'll be quite succinct and make it clear that it's the other party's job to keep it going. If it's small talk, just forget it. It'll fizzle within a moment or so.

How much alone time do you need during a average day?
It varies, because even in a school setting, in a room of 500+, I might as well be alone because I can simply tune out the background noise and settle into my mind or the lecture at hand. I do need a few hours of pure solitude every day, though.
 

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
2,152
MBTI Type
XNFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?
I just can't concentrate any more. I feel very drained. I perceive it as suddenly being immersed in a cotton ball, because I tend to withdraw into myself, so every thing sensory is slightly distorted. It can happen suddenly for me. When I get to that point, I just can't be with people. I can't even talk.
How often you don't feel drained around people ?
For me, I get drained far quicker around strangers, than I do, with friends. Friends, I can spend hours and hours with. It also depends how much sensory stimulation is occuring too. I get drained far more quickly in a night club with flashing lights and loud music, than I do, hanging with my friends in one of their kitchens.
In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?
Parks with lots of green vegetation. I find that restful, especially if they are near a body of water. As to why? I never really worked it out.
Describe your normal conversation stile ?
Er, I have to ask some one who knows me. Apparently very non-linear. I get the feeling I use Ne a lot more than I reliese. Also I have a lot of internal dialouge, so quite often, I just say the last part of that dialouge, and it can appear random to other people, because it will have absolutely nothing to do with the conversation, or will be what was discussed like three hours ago.
How much alone time do you need during a average day ?
At least a couple of hours, but 3-4 hours ideally. Especially after a very busy/or stressful day at work. For me, it isn't necessarily getting away from people, but limiting the amount of sensory stimulation to a bare minimum for a little while so I can reset, so too speak.
 

sleepy

Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2007
Messages
536
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?
I generally only feel a restlessness and wants to draw fresh air. Like if you are in a room with people and the walls are on fire, so after a while you start to suffocate.

For any prolonged period of time, usually I'm fine, if I don't have to pretend so much, unfortunately this has proven a necessity. A mask if you like.

How often you don't feel drained around people ?
Not often.


In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?
Around some children, before formed to much. I tend to relate how they take in the world unrestrained.

Describe your normal conversation stile ?
I like to talk about things that make them and me smile.

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?
Dunno. Usually alone. But if in a group 24/7, I'd probably sneak away 30% at least of the awake hours. Unless their company was pleasant, then I could hang around all day, with no need for solitude.

For me it's nothing inherent, it's nurture created. Probably a fake I, but I nonetheless.
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
Can only introverts answer? :unsure:

How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?
I have to concentrate a lot to stay attentive to other people. Especially when they do the small-talk thing.

Let me give an extreme example: a New Year party with a lot of people repeating over and over that they were so glad to see each other (and me). I felt like I had to repeat the same thing... and it bored the heck out of me! After a while I just couldn't stand their talk and I got out. Only when I was alone, I could think clearly and decide that since it was a party, I wasn't required to be there; and since I'd prefer to study economics (not my favourite subject back then) I could better go away. So I did.

When I'm teaching, I feel drained too - more than just the physical and mental drain. I invest a lot of emotion in it too... wanting them to understand you, wanting to connect to them... But at the same time, it is very rewarding! I wouldn't want to miss it.

During the noon break, sometimes I stay among the other teachers and chat and feel happy and recharged. Sometimes I stay and chat and feel drained. Sometimes I can't get myself to stay among them. I feel I need some alone time before I can get to the next lesson.

This energy thing makes me want to change that first letter of my type. But I won't because:
- I need input from other people to be productive
- If I feel accepted and welcome - without having to say so much - I do gain energy in the social setting.
- Ne is my dominant, without doubt :D

How often you don't feel drained around people ?
I don't know. Depends on the people and the activity - see below.

In what surroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ?
- classroom full of interested students, especially if I can show spectacular experiments
- game club, playing with two or four or more...
- quiet family setting

(When I'm really alone, I get restless after a while!)

Describe your normal conversation stile ?
Enthousiastic, explaining things,...

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?
I don't know. Nowadays I get an hour or two, which is quite okay to me.
On some days I get more and that's too much.
 

Markasin3

New member
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
23
MBTI Type
IXXP
How exactly do you experiance being drained my people and socializing ?

In large gatherings I will be drained cause I'm so conscious of maintaing a good impression, it saps my energy. Other times I am drained because I am bombarded by people who I don't know and I have to understand who they are and what they expect of me. I'm also drained if there is not enough emotion, action, or stimulation and there is just normal mundane talk of which may become irritating at times. Sitting at a formal restaurant after the food has been eaten drains me.
Usually my attention is drawn to the irrelevant surrounds or my inner thoughts.

Also, if something is not right with me to begin with (disturbed, angry, depressed) before I even go into a social situation, than no matter what the situation is, it will all drain me.
How often you don't feel drained around people ? It used to be often, but most of the time not so much anymore. I tend to stick with those I'm closest to and have adequate enough time to myself throughout the week. However. I'm on winter break. Ask me in a month or two and this answer may greatly change.

In what suroundings you lose the smallest amount of energy ? When all uncomfortableness in not present. When I'm with a close friend, and I can be myself and I'm not depressed or irritated.
Describe your normal conversation stile ?

Hi. How are you doing? Not much. Okay... Followed by quietness and whacky thoughts.

How much alone time do you need during a average day ?
I need half to a forth of the day alone, and the other portion around people so I don't get lonely.

If I go about three days without social interaction, I begin to lose it. Most introverts value their privacy, but they need to be reassured their not going to grow up lonely.
 

Lacey

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
392
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
How exactly do you experience being drained by people and socializing?
It feels almost the same as getting physically exhausted, except there's also this fuzzy feeling in my head. It happens pretty gradually too...thank goodness.

How often don't you feel drained around people?
When it's people I'm completely comfortable around, I don't feel drained at all.

In what surroundings do you lose the smallest amount of energy?
When I'm with one or two people other people.

Describe your normal conversation style.
I listen, mostly. Other than that...I don't know? I try to make jokes, ask the other person questions, talk about whatever. Not really sure.

How much alone time do you need during an average day?
It varies. Like other people have said, it depends a lot on how stressed I am. I do like to have at least an hour or two of alone, daydream time a day.
 
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