Testing F -ness

[Liminality]

Ahh, missed the 'if you were madly in love with someone'.

But chances are it'd not work out. Apart from anything people fall 'madly in love' all the time and two thirds of the time it ends up terrible.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I would be honest with them first and communicate about it. Love is not a feeling for me, although it can produce feelings. Love is being strong and able to care about another person enough to make a decision in their best interest regardless of its emotional impact on me.

 

[Little Linguist]

But if you are madly in love with someone, you want to look out for that person's best interest; not your own. Otherwise, it's just infatuation. And if you're going to lead someone on due to infatuation, it's time to take a break from the dating scene, mature a little, and return later on.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I would break up with him if I determined there was no chance of a future together. I am looking for a permanent partner.

However....

A few examples

Say you have been planning to travel to Asha, Austrailia and Europe for 12 months and due to leave in January, the tickets are bought and the itinary routed. You met someone in June and are really getting into them, you are both madly in love so on an emotional level they are great but you are going to be away for 12 months - Keep or Dump

An alternative is that you really love a person and have been seeing them for over a year, they have to move for work reasons, their ideal job has been offered to them and they are moving to a small town in the middle of nowhere and it would have serious impact on your life if you were to move - you don't want to relocate but still love them.... Keep or Dump?

These are matters of circumstance. I got the impression that the person did not want to a long term relationship. If the desire and commitment is there, then things like location and plans can often be worked out, IMO.

If I was really in love with someone, then I could wait a year for them, or find some other solution (bring them along on the trip?). The second situation suggests that the person has not factored me into their longterm plans, and that would give me pause as to whether they were really committed. So I probably would end the relationship.

 

[cascadeco]

This is for NF's - thought police won't move it back.

If you were madly in love with someone, but also knew that there was no longevity in the relationship (for whatever the reason) would you keep going out with them or dump them?

I've had this experience. And I dumped him, as painful as it was.

Edit: Uh...I was framing my answer in terms of my being 100% into the longevity factor, and he not being so, and my knowing that's not going to change. And if *I* was the one who knew I'd be going away and thus longterm wasn't going to happen, I wouldn't even get into it in the first place - I wouldn't rope him into feelings and a dynamic I knew I couldn't sustain or wouldn't amount to anything in the long run.

 

[Ginkgo]

The context of the situation is highly involved here... but I would normally dump them.

Well, no. I wouldn't even engage with the relationship to start with. (Just because I love someone doesn't mean I'm already with them.

I would probably just love them from afar... sigh.

 

[Little Linguist]

Yeah, but I still maintain that holding on to someone for your own gratification to the detriment of the other person in the long run is a sign of immaturity, irresponsibility, lack of feeling, lack of thought, lack of thinking things through, lack of foresight, lack of being humane, lack of love, lack of...

Well, you get my point.

 

[tinkerbell]

Yeah, but I still maintain that holding on to someone for your own gratification to the detriment of the other person in the long run is a sign of immaturity, irresponsibility, lack of feeling, lack of thought, lack of thinking things through, lack of foresight, lack of being humane, lack of love, lack of...

Well, you get my point.

LL - I'm actually loving your input on this, it's so intense and it seems to have a degree of quandry for you (which is what the question is intending to do - these things are never clear cut).

On the other thread you quote Jennifer, who said her instinct was to dump, but as she has got older she is much more inclined to keep with vague ends.

I guess with this question it bois down to - does a relationship need to have longevity to be of value to you. When ever I've asked this question to a group of NT/F's the NT's almost without hesitation dump, the NF's either quirm or keep.... It's a really easy way to just get a feel of if someone is a T or an F type - the thinking cycle is quite different. I guess it's asking an emo question directly... even as a fully teen I was a T type - loud and clear... This song captures the dicotomy perfectly (with an F type ending)

YouTube - Chris De Burgh The head and the heart

 

[Charmed Justice]

Keep it going, for sure. So long as they saw the benefit in it as well and understood the terms. I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to express love if I felt love.

 

[Kaveri]

I immediately thought of someone who's dying of cancer or something like that... And answered that I'd keep them. Well, of course, if I was madly in love with them! Dumping a dying SO would be horrible But if I was madly and irrationally in love with a violent drug-abuser, pedophile and criminal, then I would hopefully have the common sense to dump them.

 

[Thalassa]

To the OP: I don't think it is that simple. I was in love with someone who was bad for me and stayed with him longer than I should have. However, when I finally realized that I could not spend the rest of my life with this man for various reasons - and had serious concerns about his ability to be a good father in the future - I left him. I moved all the way across the country to get away from him, just to make sure it would be difficult for us to reconcile unless we both put effort into it. It was the best decision I ever made, though not easy at the time. F's are capable of using their Te or Ti.