J/P and anger

[NewEra]

+1.

I'm like the saucepan of milk, i will simmer but if i boil over, i will cause a slight mess. Then i calm down almost immediately.

Usually when I get angry at someone, I will forgive them about a half hour later, usually even less. But this one ISFJ that I know, when she gets angry at someone, she won't forgive them for a month or so. It's annoying as heck.

 

[Strawberrylover]

Thinking about it briefly, I have a hunch that anger usually gets triggered when the Judging function is crossed.

For Perceivers, the judging function is internalized. it's also more conceptual in nature... it's about principles, not rules.

J types seem to get more pissed when someone doesn't follow the rules -- Fe, when someone is rude, Te, when someone does stupid impractical things that create chaos.

The P types might flex more outwardly but inside the principles (Ti/Fi) can get crossed and anger might be harbored.

This makes sense to me.

Here's my theory:

Js are more prone to outward anger/rage, with sadness/despair in the unconscious.
Ps are more prone to outward sadness/despair, with anger/rage in the unconscious.

It's hard for me to maintain anger and express that. When I have, I've felt very out of control. It's easier for me to be sad, but when I've been extremely stressed, anger manifests in my nightmares, and I'll fight and yell at people in my dreams.

So I've been wondering if anger/sadness aren't really just two sides of the same thing: Hopelessness, perhaps?

 

[NewEra]

This makes sense to me.

Here's my theory:

Js are more prone to outward anger/rage, with sadness/despair in the unconscious.
Ps are more prone to outward sadness/despair, with anger/rage in the unconscious.

I would agree with your theory, at least for myself.

 

[Quinlan]

Ps get angry, but they have to really care about something a lot to go to the bother of extraverting it.

 

[Poki]

Ps get angry, but they have to really care about something a lot to go to the bother of extraverting it.

I hit that stage last night and it was very strange for me to have that much anger and emotion. My ENFJ shadow came out full force and I was fuming over something that "I just knew happened". I checked before I blew my lid though and calmed down.

 

[wren]

I'm not so angry tonight. Still won't feel completely at ease until my problem is resolved however. It may be solved in my favor or in the others. I'm not good with win win situations in reality. In theory compromise is a good thing, but does it work, does it WORK? I don't think it does in my extensive experience dealing with merchants. Consumers definitely have less clout than companies. Why? Not sure. Here I am PAYING for something and I should tolerate being taking advantage of?

Here's an example of being taken advantage of: I pay for a service, they screw up and overcharge me (bottom line), yet I'm forced to represent myself against this entity to make my claim, and they sit back and listen (paid while doing so) and in the end they win, using lame excuses and hidden terms, which they call to one's attention. Yeah, sure I could debate the aholes but on whose time? That is right, mine!

 

[Walking Tourist]

Mostly, I just get sad.
But mean people make me very angry.
It takes a lot to get me to show my anger.
Only a few people know how to press my buttons.
Most people can't find the buttons.
And, when I'm angry, it doesn't last long. I get distracted and forget about it.

Ps get angry, but they have to really care about something a lot to go to the bother of extraverting it.

 

[Jaguar]

I would agree with your theory, at least for myself.

Ditto.

 

[wren]

I'm still angry about the gas situation. This company is not going to reimburse me for their mistake. My anger has lessened from the earlier days when problem occurred, yet I just can't shake it! I know I'm right and they are wrong in how they handled the situation and they should be responsible for the misinformation they gave me. I plan on reporting them to the BBB, called the PRC on the issue (little good that did--the personages there are economically tied to this utility!), and want to write a zinger of a letter to the town newspaper (who reads the paper these days anyway, you might be thinking).

It's not about the money now. Nor the fact I can't use my stove. It's about principle of the issue.

I will follow up on this but there is a majority of myself that wants to WIN the battle, not just follow up with no result I'm satisfied with. I want the entity to pay for their mistake. They are behaving unethically, the evidence is clear,yet it is with my dime and on my watch that I have to pursue the case. Is it worth it? Should I spend my own resources accordingly?

My Jness shall find out, that's all I can say for now. Is my J equal to the task at hand. Only J knows for sure, which can be manhandled by P at a whims notice. We shall see...

 

[NewEra]

Ditto.

Yeah, it seems like J's get more angry and whiny but P's get more sad and mopey. You can particularly see this with FJ vs. FP.

 

[briochick]

Mostly, I just get sad.
But mean people make me very angry.
It takes a lot to get me to show my anger.
Only a few people know how to press my buttons.
Most people can't find the buttons.
And, when I'm angry, it doesn't last long. I get distracted and forget about it.

Me too. And even when I am angry I have to be really upset to go about showing it. Usually if I think someone is being intolerable I'm either sarcastic or I leave, more often I leave. It just takes up too much energy to get truly angry.

I personally think that's ironic since I came from a very angry family so I know how to throw a real proper fit, but I virtually never do.

 

[Strawberrylover]

Yeah, it seems like J's get more angry and whiny but P's get more sad and mopey. You can particularly see this with FJ vs. FP.

Just in my experience, I've found that when I actually feel anger about something, it's a sign for me that the issue is close to the tipping point or close to being resolved emotionally for me.

As in, I've felt too much sadness about something. I'm done with that. Time for anger! [Several minutes of being angry later] OK, I'm done with that too. Next!

 

[onemoretime]

Ps get angry when people deny reality. Js get angry when people deny the agreed-upon rules.

They're sort of two sides of the same coin.