To my knowledge I haven't made a post about this, yet, but I've been thinking about it for awhile. When I look back on past experiences/situations, I can never recall my emotional state at the time. I think this is what makes it difficult to feel totally comfortable in new social situations. It's like it's my first time every time. (I'm a lot better than I used to be, but you get the idea.) So...my question is...can you recall you felt at a certain time in the past? and...what is your type?
This could also be why I get so restless doing nothing. I just want to kill myself (figuratively) if I don't get out of the house at least a couple of times per day. It's like if I stop going then my mind just goes bland. Always looking for the next high time.
...hopefully someone understands what I'm trying to say here...I know it isn't very clear.
I'm a noob and lazy so I haven't read through all the posts -- but I wanted to know how old you are and if you male/female and where in the world you live?
Depression (which is what at least in part it seems you struggle with) is pretty common in young women and men and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can really do a number on you in certain parts of the world.
Also, when you are young whether in mind or body, you need to constantly explore and learn and experience the world around you until you feel like 'alright, been there, done that'. The problem becomes if you do things compulsively, like you have to check that box that you did X -- even though you were not in your head or present to really EXPERIENCE or remember the experience let alone enjoy it.
As an ENFP, I remember my life in vivid vignettes -- I remember exactly how I felt because I am remembering things exactly from my POV. It is an EMOTIONAL snapshot but also very detailed, I remember everything from what people said to how they said it to the order of events in a specific memory. The problem with details becomes how to sort all the memories together, what happened first and what happened next -- kind of like sorting files on your computer.
People often tease me that they should be careful around me because I 'remember everything'.
I don't necessarily think not remembering how you felt at a point in your life is a 'problem' -- semantics is everything and perhaps you really do remember how you were feeling but you don't feel that kick in the gut visceral emotional response you THINK you ought to have.
For instance, remembering a car wreck you feel like you should feel like crap and in pain. Remembering painful memories does not cause me physical pain, partly because I trained myself not to subject myself to unnecessary trauma!
Does this help any?