Es have greater need for social acceptance?

[Jaguar]

Just got this from a socionics ENTp description:

Why didn't I think of that.
Sure.

If it's in the socionics description, then it simply must be true.
Question nothing.
You are not allowed to have independent thought.
You must think only the thoughts of those who have gone before you.

 

[Asterion]

Why didn't I think of that.
Sure.

If it's in the socionics description, then it simply must be true.
Question nothing.
You are not allowed to have independent thought.
You must think only the thoughts of those who have gone before you.

... you do that.

 

[thisGuy]

OMG, I'm with you! That is the definition of a life completely without any conflict whatsoever. I'd feel like the dude in "The Truman Show," like a big lab rat if everybody liked me . Bleeech! My skin crawls at the thought. :horor:

i dont understand this...why would feel like a lab rat?


or would you be the pissed off 10 year old cuz everyone is treating you like your 5?

 

[thisGuy]

You are not allowed to have independent thought.
You must think only the thoughts of those who have gone before you.

so you still live in a cave with no electricity or telephone or clothes?

you are repping the free world!! wish there were more people like you, you could start your own world...or no, you would never get started cuz all of you would wanna do it your own way. each of you would eat dirt before you realize that you cannot eat dirt. each of you would touch the hot cooking stone before you realized that it causes you to go OWWWWWW...each of of you would piss in your your own drink before you realize that makes you sick

well whatever, guess there is more truth to natural selection than i give it credit for...please teach me how you maneuvered through the cracks and managed to avoid evolution completely

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

They guy was being sarcastic. Turning the idea upside down doesn't make the opposite any more attractive.

 

[Jaguar]

i dont understand this...why would feel like a lab rat?


or would you be the pissed off 10 year old cuz everyone is treating you like your 5?

so you still live in a cave with no electricity or telephone or clothes?

you are repping the free world!! wish there were more people like you, you could start your own world...or no, you would never get started cuz all of you would wanna do it your own way. each of you would eat dirt before you realize that you cannot eat dirt. each of you would touch the hot cooking stone before you realized that it causes you to go OWWWWWW...each of of you would piss in your your own drink before you realize that makes you sick

well whatever, guess there is more truth to natural selection than i give it credit for...please teach me how you maneuvered through the cracks and managed to avoid evolution completely

I give you high marks for exhibiting the insight of a cockroach, in both of your posts.

 

[jenocyde]

As for me personally the answer is cleraly "yes". It litterally came to the situation where I have to "aggressively" seek for social contacts so that I don't end up too far behind people of my age in this matters.
Since this is not coming to me naturally.
Which means that my need to be around people comes from NTJ part and not because of extroversion (being energized).
From experiance I know that I can isolate myself from others for a year and survive without any problem.

It's funny that you think that of us, because I clearly think that of introverted types. Or at least shy types. I just throw my cards in the air and they fall where they fall. I don't think about it really. You accept me or you don't. But with shyer types, I feel they withdraw or are too afraid to show themselves because of the fear they will be judged and/or not accepted.

Maybe we're both wrong.


To the OP: do you ever go on vent? I am very curious to see if you talk like you write. I'm being serious.

 

[cascadeco]

As to the OP, I don't think it's really an E/I distinction at all. But others have covered that already.

I'll admit I really WANT to be liked and accepted, so in that sense, yes, I have a 'need for social acceptance'. I'm surprised at those who would deny this? Isn't that to be human, to at some basic level to want to be accepted for who you are? But I don't think I've ever gone out of my way to make that happen when it's simply not going to -- i.e. some/many people just aren't going to care for me, period. End of story. Move on to the next.

To jenocyde's point, yes, I'll often be hesitant to say something, or really open up, for fear of ultimate rejection. In the end I can't not be myself, but it may take me quite some time to really 'let go' and have a 'what the hell' attitude about it, especially since in these cases I really like the person. (If I don't care for, respect, or like the person all that much then I may be more forthcoming, simply because I don't care what they think of me )

 

[thisGuy]

I give you high marks for exhibiting the insight of a cockroach, in both of your posts.

cockroach...the only living thing to have resisted the effects of evolution and growth, much like yourself...you guys related?

 

[Jaguar]

Bloody hell, the stupidity is astounding.

 

[INA]

It seems they want more attention rather than acceptance. They will provoke negative attention if they must as long as they are not ignored. Certainly, absorbing negative attention is worse than feeling the love, but the latter applies to all types; it doesn't seem extroverts' primary driver.

 

[thisGuy]

Bloody hell, the stupidity is astounding.

uhuh...good job there buddy

 

[Halla74]

uhuh...good job there buddy

Your false bravado is less than commendable. Get over yourself, please. You prove nothing to anyone by attempting to wield sardonic wit for no purpose other than your own gratification. For the sake of not lowering myself to your level I shall ignore your subsequent responses. I have better things to do with my time...

 

[Llewellyn]

Es have greater need for social acceptance?

Es probably have greater need for (social) reward.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

By focusing on the need for social acceptance, you've neglected to see the troubles maintaining it. I was writing a too obvious post, so I deleted it.

It was something along the line that the requirement of breathing air doesn't come that much as an impairment, if one is well equipped to breathe.

To make it a bit more sublime: maintaining acceptance requires some input. It offers something. Some believe it's a winning game and they participate in it.

 

[thisGuy]

Your false bravado is less than commendable. Get over yourself, please. You prove nothing to anyone by attempting to wield sardonic wit for no purpose other than your own gratification. For the sake of not lowering myself to your level I shall ignore your subsequent responses. I have better things to do with my time...

you do that what you please. but if you want be the judge of my 'bravado', you should probably check false assumptions at the door...e.g. your direct claim of personal gratification and your perception of my motivations for yielding a sardonic wit. though i do thank you for making me realize i have a wit and that i have the know-how to wield it

and thank you for not 'lowering' yourself to my level, how very noble of you...rest assured, i will keep checking this thread every so often

nb: i was wondering if you would come to Jaguar's defense based on the rapport you guys established in this thread...very interesting

 

[Virtual ghost]

It's funny that you think that of us, because I clearly think that of introverted types. Or at least shy types. I just throw my cards in the air and they fall where they fall. I don't think about it really. You accept me or you don't. But with shyer types, I feel they withdraw or are too afraid to show themselves because of the fear they will be judged and/or not accepted.

Maybe we're both wrong.


To the OP: do you ever go on vent? I am very curious to see if you talk like you write. I'm being serious.

This is why I said we have a certain misunderstanding here. Which is because by being around people I am not necessarily talking about socializing.
I am simply talking about being around people every now and then.


I really like that you have used the card analogy since it is a good one.
Which is because it shows that your personal approach is "You like me or you don't like me" While I am not even showing my cards because I am doing my own thing. However most(like you) people think all of this is because of social anxiety, fear of rejection, deficit of self-confidance and similar stuff. But I can understand why someone would think that about me.


This is the main reason why my Te can be a little bit scary for other/some people. Since it clearly shows that they are reading me in a wrong way from the start. What can create insecurities from their side. So I have realized that I must be careful not to go too hard on them.

 

[thisGuy]

By focusing on the need for social acceptance, you've neglected to see the troubles maintaining it. I was writing a too obvious post, so I deleted it.

It was something along the line that the requirement of breathing air doesn't come that much as an impairment, if one is well equipped to breathe.

To make it a bit more sublime: maintaining acceptance requires some input. It offers something. Some believe it's a winning game and they participate in it.

i think for most, its how they instinctively think and do...which comes back to your breathing air allegory

someone mentioned the difference between social attention and social acceptance...how would that work with this theory?

 

[jenocyde]

This is why I said we have a certain misunderstanding here. Which is because by being around people I am not necessarily talking about socializing.
I am simply talking about being around people every now and then.


I really like that you have used the card analogy since it is a good one.
Which is because it shows that your personal approach is "You like me or you don't like me" While I am not even showing my cards because I am doing my own thing. However most(like you) people think all of this is because of social anxiety, fear of rejection, deficit of self-confidance and similar stuff. But I can understand why someone would think that about me.


This is the main reason why my Te can be a little bit scary for other/some people. Since it clearly shows that they are reading me in a wrong way from the start. What can create insecurities from their side. So I have realized that I must be careful not to go too hard on them.

Very wise decision. And for me, because I talk to someone does not mean I am bonding, connecting or looking for companionship. I could care less if a person is next to me or not. If there's one there, I'll talk. If not, then I won't. I can go for a really long period without social interaction. As a matter of fact, most times I would prefer none at all. I am at ease around others only because I am at ease with myself. I don't need to be around others.

I'm also trying to go easy on people who would assume that my confidence is arrogance and that my pleasant demeanor is a facade for wanting to be accepted and that my honest words are an attempt to bruise. Every day, I get a little better at it. I think.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

At the most basic level, very harsh, very rude, down-to-earth Te - Se - level, acceptance is being allowed to enter a building. Acceptance is being allowed to speak without being forcibly removed. Acceptance is what you enjoy when being invited to somewhere and having a good time/ good business opportunity/ whatever you were invited to come for. Acceptance is what you enjoy when you're walking in the street and no-one tries to mug you. This is very hard core, practical acceptance.

Then of course there's fancier acceptance, but I won't get into that now. Suffice to say, some kind of acceptance is useful.

Attention, it's a more elaborate form. It's not needed for most of the the basic stuff, but then, we're social animals, and our finer ideas partly work on forms of attention, too. Perhaps that our ideas are noted, or our distinct personalities are noted. Academic or personal, it's all attention.

I guess the air allegory can partly work for attention as well. Some use it as air, and inhale it as easily as air. I don't feel much like that, though. I enjoy friendship with some close friends, but I wouldn't call it "getting attention".