Why Are INTJs Sometimes Confused As Extraverts?

[Nicodemus]

Twenty minutes ago, after telling him that I do not want craftsmen working in my apartment, my father remarked: You are somewhat unsociable, right? Very perceptive.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

haha. yeah, i only know of two for sure INTJ's and both are incredibly socially inept.

both of them i've introduced to a great number of people, however no one ever recalls them because even having been introduced, they keep their selves elusive.

 

[IZthe411]

haha. yeah, i only know of two for sure INTJ's and both are incredibly socially inept.

both of them i've introduced to a great number of people, however no one ever recalls them because even having been introduced, they keep their selves elusive.

The 2 I know well- One is a lawyer and aspiring politician, and he's social but spazzes out and can be nasty towards people. He loves Twitter, though.

The other goes through his phases of being on the scene and being a homebody. When he's out we play the background. That's why I like to roll out with him, he's chill like I am.

 

[Amargith]

As you know, I have one of you at home and imo, you come off E when you're looking to have a good time or when you're forced to step up and lead. SeTe basically. Mine tends to sigh reluctantly at the responsibility of having leadership, but secretly enjoys is. Once he gets into it though, everyone knows he's in the house. He, however, does not prefer to stay in charge, he loves in fact making things in order, mentor someone to take over and then step aside and be the 'puppeteer' on the side, so he doesn't keep the spotlight but still has all the power :rolli: This stuff does require him having time to strategize and plan in advance, and he doesn't like to be tossed into it. As for Se, once he was comfortable with my friends (who became our friends), he became more extraverted with them than I am, especially if he's decided is going to have a drink as well. Se all the way. He just cannot keep it up for a long time.

As for socializing, young INTJs are incredibly fun and cute in their socialization process. There a certain dilligence and methodicalness to it, with a clear goal in mind. It's especially interesting to watch when they've decided it's time to find someone to share their life with, and they're gathering and processing data...which incidentely usually means *you* (especially if you're enfp )

 

[gromit]

My high school INTJ friend could be really outgoing and engaging if she was up for it, but it seemed like she really liked her alone time too, probably more than I like my alone time.

 

[InvisibleJim]

I'm not necessarily sure how to explain to types who don't have an inferior extroverted sensing anima/id exactly how awkward, hideous and scary it can be. To engage with the world we start to drop out of our high level happy and content introverted intuition bubble and it's a very angry and confused battle to return to there, especially if we are suddenly jolted back into reality.

Yes we can socialise, once we have sufficiently categorized the external information into the relevant Te boxes so that we know what is expected and we know how our environment will feed us back sensory information.

 

[Zarathustra]

...he loves in fact making things in order, mentor someone to take over and then step aside and be the 'puppeteer' on the side, so he doesn't keep the spotlight but still has all the power...

I swear to God, this is the INTJ's purpose on this Earth.

And ENxJs: to be those puppets.



No, seriously, though...

Leo Strauss' entire philosophy was based on this.

 

[entropie]

They are ? In which world ?

 

[Coriolis]

As you know, I have one of you at home and imo, you come off E when you're looking to have a good time or when you're forced to step up and lead. SeTe basically. Mine tends to sigh reluctantly at the responsibility of having leadership, but secretly enjoys is. Once he gets into it though, everyone knows he's in the house. He, however, does not prefer to stay in charge, he loves in fact making things in order, mentor someone to take over and then step aside and be the 'puppeteer' on the side, so he doesn't keep the spotlight but still has all the power :rolli: This stuff does require him having time to strategize and plan in advance, and he doesn't like to be tossed into it. As for Se, once he was comfortable with my friends (who became our friends), he became more extraverted with them than I am, especially if he's decided is going to have a drink as well. Se all the way. He just cannot keep it up for a long time.

As for socializing, young INTJs are incredibly fun and cute in their socialization process. There a certain dilligence and methodicalness to it, with a clear goal in mind. It's especially interesting to watch when they've decided it's time to find someone to share their life with, and they're gathering and processing data...which incidentely usually means *you* (especially if you're enfp )

Once again, you are right on the money. The highlighted rings especially true for me. I think what I enjoy about the occasions when I take leadership is the knowledge that whatever it is will finally get done right. It comes almost as a relief. I want it to continue to get done right, but without my staying involved in the minutiae, hence the plans and the mentoring. It is much more fulfilling to set up a semi-autonomous system I can hand off to others. I really don't care who gets the credit at that point, as long as my vision is realized.

I also did my share of data processing when investigating potential SO's, but it involved some rather pointed testing as well. I didn't recognize it as such at the time, but that's what it was.

I was honestly unaware that INTJ's socialized.

INTJs don't socialize. We network.

 

[entropie]

Because they wear bananas in their pants to be confused as extroverts

 

[vanizorc]

I think, sometimes, confidence can be misconstrued as extroversion. INTJs probably the most confident INs (speaking in broad generalities).

This.

INTJs' confidence, IMO, really does lend a veneer of extroversion. After all, extroversion is so often stereotypically (and erroneously) associated with confidence. (I said 'erroneously' because no doubt introverts can be confident as well - it's just that most people don't know it because, for all their lives, they've been fed the stereotype that introvert = lack of self-esteem, shyness, etc... So when they do come across a confident introvert, they mistakenly type them as extrovert.)

 

[INTJMom]

I'm not necessarily sure how to explain to types who don't have an inferior extroverted sensing anima/id exactly how awkward, hideous and scary it can be. To engage with the world we start to drop out of our high level happy and content introverted intuition bubble and it's a very angry and confused battle to return to there, especially if we are suddenly jolted back into reality.

Yes we can socialise, once we have sufficiently categorized the external information into the relevant Te boxes so that we know what is expected and we know how our environment will feed us back sensory information.

That's excellent, Jim, as was your previous post. I can relate to that method of socializing. As a matter of fact, that's why I have been a huge fan of MBTI for over 20 years... it helps me put the people I meet into "relevant Te boxes" so that I can have some foundation from which to work when I am interacting with them.

I love this thread... saw so many familiar faces... especially on the first page.

I also would like to throw in my two cents about the "timeline". I'm not sure where the information comes from, but Barron and Tieger state in their books that the Dominant function begins to develop around age 6 and the Auxiliary begins to develop around age 12. The Tertiary doesn't begin to develop until around age 25. Consequently, I know a man who uses Type in his professional business as a consultant, and he suggests that people should think about how they were when they were about 18 years of age in order to get a more accurate picture of what their type is. Incidentally, the Inferior typically begins to develop around the age of 50. However, it's not really an exact science. I tell people it's like when babies' teeth come in, or they start walking or talking... everyone is a little different.

 

[INTJMom]

This.

INTJs' confidence, IMO, really does lend a veneer of extroversion. After all, extroversion is so often stereotypically (and erroneously) associated with confidence. (I said 'erroneously' because no doubt introverts can be confident as well - it's just that most people don't know it because, for all their lives, they've been fed the stereotype that introvert = lack of self-esteem, shyness, etc... So when they do come across a confident introvert, they mistakenly type them as extrovert.)

My mother and sister insisted for the longest time that I was an Extravert but I kept insisting that just because a person DOES extravert doesn't mean they ARE one. I can extravert but it spends my emotional resources very quickly.