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Understanding People with MBTI

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
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ISFP
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496
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sp/sx
What are some epiphanies that MBTI has given you that has made it easier to understand, communicate, or get along with other people who are different from you? What are your experiences in more successful conflict resolution at work, or in making more peace with family members who think or feel differently? How has MBTI made your life and interactions with others easier, more efficient, and more constructive?

I'll think up some specific examples for myself and post them in a bit.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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The simplest way it has helped me is to take a pause before reacting. If someone says or does something that might naturally be a put-off, I now tend to take a moment and think, "what kind of thought processes or cognitive function would produce that view". That pause is sometimes enough to regather my thoughts and be willing to listen longer before reaching a conclusion. I have something specific I am trying to figure out.

I had a teacher who was a bit dismissive of certain aspects of my accomplishments and even though I don't know her MBTI type, I had a sense that her self identity was based more on her place in the community than mine was. It was easier to let it go and not be offended because her perspective was different from mine.

Also the issue of lack of emotional response was easier to understand as not being personal when reading about other people who also think in that manner.

I guess in a way the positive aspects are that it can provide an opportunity to take pause and wait to conclude, and it can encourage me to take things less personally.

It does also help to not feel like there is something wrong with me for being introverted or for wearying quickly in conflict. All my life I have been pressured to "be more assertive", "be more confident", "bluff more", "be more outgoing", etc. I mostly realized it on my own, but it helped to see it in print a little. I also have tended to get physically sick in conflict based environments. I have tried to engage in some conflict and debate just to strengthen my social skills, but once my quota is filled, that part of me still shuts down. I think maybe that is alright as well. There are plenty of people available to debate the issues in my absence. It's okay if a person's contribution is somewhat specialized in the world if they are an unusual type. Just focus on that contribution and leave the rest to others.
 

ladyinspring

New member
Joined
May 7, 2009
Messages
76
MBTI Type
INFP
It does also help to not feel like there is something wrong with me for being introverted or for wearying quickly in conflict. All my life I have been pressured to "be more assertive", "be more confident", "bluff more", "be more outgoing", etc. I mostly realized it on my own, but it helped to see it in print a little
.

This has been pretty significant for me too. I think I might have come to these realizations eventually anyway, but it would have taken me a LOT longer. My life is so much calmer and much more authentic.

Beyond self-understanding, I pretty much like everybody thanks to MBTI. LOL maybe that's an overstatement, but I can get along quite well with most people that I encounter if I so choose (and sometimes I don't so choose). I can also look back on my life and have far fewer relationship regrets because I don't demonize anyone anymore.

As for specific epiphanies, learning about "direct" vs. "informing" communication styles opened up a lot of things for me.
 

CJ99

Is Willard in Footloose!!
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
582
MBTI Type
ENTP
I found it useful as i was fairly INTP but I always sort of admired the traits of ENTPs like wit, imagination, confidence, adaptability ect. I knew i had them all to some extent just that i never felt confident enough to use them. MBTI gave me a boudry almost. I knew I could an ENTP type person before i knew it was called an ENTP but the fact that here a theory that seems to work well saying that there are people who are like me and that its not uncommon for them to be socially akward and that they can overcome it kind of gave me more confidence to try over come my own social akwardness and so become an ENTP.

Basically having a seemingly logical working theory to say that i could do what i thought i could do helped me to do. Or start doing it. Now i need to try keep developing the way i am without the mould of MBTI to give me the confidence boost but i think i can now.

I'm not saying i would have always been shy and socially akward just that its helped me become more confident quicker.
 

kelric

Feline Member
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Sep 8, 2007
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2,169
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INtP
All my life I have been pressured to "be more assertive", "be more confident", "bluff more", "be more outgoing", etc. I mostly realized it on my own, but it helped to see it in print a little. I also have tended to get physically sick in conflict based environments.

This really resonates with me too. It does help in that I tell myself that what to me is often combative or needlessly antagonistic methods of "conflict resolution" aren't necessarily intended that way. It doesn't always help as much as I'd like it to, but at least, after the fact, I'm sometimes able to keep it in perspective now and then. Not as well as others might hope - but better than nothing.

Most of what I think I've gotten from knowing a little about MBTI is being able to see outside my own circumstances a bit and see that I'm not alone in being uncomfortable with some things. For one reason or another, for a very large portion of my life I've been surrounded by circumstances that aren't well... very friendly to someone of my temperament. Not bad, but wearying, particularly when it comes to conformity "just because". Seeing that there *are* people who "get me" can be a big boost.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
Agree with toonia and kelric. Also, it's helped me as a teacher, to understand different learning styles and interests, as well as different ways of interacting. It's also helped me understand logically what I'd picked up on intuitively about why I didn't really click with certain people. It's also helped me realize that some of that was me picking up on differences rather than serious conflicts--that I could see things more easily from their perspective rather than writing them off.

It's definitely helped me not to make myself conform to expectations that just don't apply to me.
 

LunarMoon

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Oct 19, 2007
Messages
309
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ENTJ
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To be honest, I try to stay away from it. I've found that even with the knowledge of someone's tested MBTI type that I'll at least subconsciously begin to assume qualities in them that may or may not exist simply because they should be there in theory (Confirmation Bias). Those qualities may either be good or bad but the problem lies in the fact that they may take the place of honestly interacting with that person to understand them on a personal level or to realize the depth behind what's really more of an archetype or "character class" rather than an entire human being. I recall one incident in which I was disappointed with an INTP's lack of intellectualism because I held him up to a ridiculous and unrealistic profile standard. I presently see MBTI as more of an intellectual curiosity like bird watching or a science experiment. Now with that said, the manner is which you've used MBTI to augment your understanding of people's depth is absolutely amazing so it really is a matter of how your interpret it.
 

bluebell

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2007
Messages
1,485
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INTP
I struggle with understanding other people.

My first rough draft of 'understanding' other people used to be assuming that everyone thought the same as me.
Helpfulness: close to zero.
Outcome: mutual frustration.

Learning about MBTI has improved the rough draft of understanding people - 16 boxes is a much more refined approximation than the one box of everyone is just like me assumption.
Helpfulness: moderate.
Outcome: reduction in frustration.

That said, I still struggle a bit with this and tend to need a bit of external feedback to explain what's going on - either from someone who is introspective and willing to discuss meta cognition with me or an independent third party who can shed light on why someone is behaving in a particular way. MBTI helps fill in the gaps.

It's definitely helped me not to make myself conform to expectations that just don't apply to me.

Yes.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
To be honest, I try to stay away from it.

I agree with this. I mean, a year ago I was clueless about the whole MBTI/socionics thing. Even before I discovered it, I was open minded about people, assuring myself that there might be facts I'm not aware of which are influencing that person's behaviour at that moment.

I presently see MBTI as more of an intellectual curiosity like bird watching or a science experiment.

Absolutely. People are very interesting and my knowledge of types adds even more interesting nuances to them. Typing people around me is now my favourite pastime. It's pure fun, like playing a game, but I don't let it cloud my judgement.
 
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Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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Some of the negative applications of MBTI has helped me understand more things about people as well. "Us" vs. "Them" conflicts are deeply ingrained into a society, but the times it happens with MBTI those deeper conflicts are either superimposed onto this construct or new ones are invented. It can provide an opportunity to see where those kinds of impulses exist in myself, so that I can take a step back and reason through them.

The point of the system from what I understand is to increase communication and understanding between people who think differently.
 

pippi

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Sep 6, 2008
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xxxx
My epiphany from first learning about my MBTI type years ago was a confirmation that people really did think differently than I did. I knew that instinctively, but never understood why. Finding out that I was in a box in the top right corner of the MBTI grid and that most of the people I interacted with at work and in my personal life were wayyyyy over in the opposite corners was one of those lightbulb moments for me.

I don't want to fall into the trap of treating people like stereotypes instead of individuals so I don't type people I know. I know that seems odd for someone who hangs out on typology forums, but I really don't care what MBTI type someone is. It's enough for me to know that most people think differently than me and I rely on my own read of someone to figure out how best to communicate with them. I am interested in personality theory and I assume my knowledge of it gets applied when I'm reading people and situations, but I use a lot of other data and skills I've honed over the years as well. I've only ever asked my best friend and my husband to take the test.

I have explained my MBTI type to a few people in an effort to help them understand me. Usually I show them the Compleat Idiot's Guide to the INTJ, it's simple and amusing and gives them some idea of how my mind works. If people are going to stick me in a box anyway, I figure it's better if they use the right one.
 

TaylorS

Aspie Idealist
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It has definitely helped me understand the dynamics at work, in particular the interaction between an ISTJ coworker and ESFP coworker; in particular Mr. ISTJ w/Asperger's accidentally upsetting Miss emotionally volatile, physically disabled, rape survivor ESFP. :doh: I said one day that it seems like I'm ending up as everyone's personal therapist, LOL
 
G

garbage

Guest
Some stuff I'd say on this topic would just be "+1" to other posts here, especially

My epiphany from first learning about my MBTI type years ago was a confirmation that people really did think differently than I did.

this.


An addendum: as cool as understanding others is, it shouldn't totally excuse their behavior. If someone's a total prick to other people due to their MBTI type, they can choose to learn to not be a total prick to other people. If someone's disorganized and unplanned, they probably shouldn't deal with it by crying foul that the rest of the world is structured and planned and instead should do something about it.

It does help to recognize everyone's unique gifts, though! If being structured and routinized isn't your thing, cool; you can contribute by being spontaneous and good with multiple threads of thought. Just remember that learning how to be structured when you need to be will just make you all the more awesome.

I'm currently working on my attention to detail. It's an uphill battle, I assure you :doh:
 

Matthew_Z

That chalkboard guy
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xxxx
"Oh, so you're an INFP? No wonder my logic wasn't working for you." <bad_joke>

Anyways, it's encounters like that. MBTI really helps me know how to communicate with people.
 

Mole

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Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
MBTI gives the illusion of understanding people.

And when we don't understand poeple we look for an explanation.

And any explanation is better than none.

However an illusion is very effective because it turns off the critical faculties.

And unfortunately MBTI is meant to turn off the critical faculties because MBTI is a scam.

And really the only question is how can such a transparent scam be so successful for so long across the entire world?
 

redacted

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Nov 28, 2007
Messages
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Here is what I have gained:
- a starting point for general thoughts about people and their differences
- a reason to think more about the people around me and how they think
- practice in overcoming confirmation bias
- thoughts about stereotyping and human bias in general, the drive to classify, etc.

I don't think I've ever actually gained anything from the application of the system itself, though, besides verbal shortcutting in a conversation once every few days.

I'm starting to agree with Victor more and more.
 

Economica

Dhampyr
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Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
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INTJ
I have to wonder whether some types, e.g. my own, get more application value out of MBTI than other types, e.g. INFJ, because we start out relatively clueless about people? I'm thinking that crudely applying the stereotypes serves us better than the oblivious projection of our own personality onto others that we had going before we learned about MBTI, whereas those who are naturally attuned to other people are better off continuing to rely on their individualized understanding of others.

Edit: Like bluebell said, basically. :blush:
 
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The Decline

(☞゚∀゚)☞
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?
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Does anyone have suggestions for how to formulate a type of someone purely from observing them? I've been attempting this lately. Please give me hints.
 

Antimony

You're fired. Lol.
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sx/sp
Does anyone have suggestions for how to formulate a type of someone purely from observing them? I've been attempting this lately. Please give me hints.


Well, introversion/extroversion is easy. Just observe the level of obnoxiousness/comfortability with people.

Intuitive/sensing has always been harder for me. I base it on say if I figured them to be ExTJ, I would look at them and figure out if they seemed more ENTJ or ESTJ. That kind of thing.

Thinking/feeling- People with feeling are more apt to display more emotions, obviously. Me as a thinker tends to show mostly enthusiasm or coldness or aloofness around people, but never fear, sadness, and mostly no anger. Just a cold stare if I am mad. Thinkers seem to want to have more control.

Judging/percieving- Ps seem to generally not care what they wear, or are disheveled. Generally. I dress nicely, but my hair resembles that of Einsteins. Js seem to be more apt to dress nicely, and be more polished.

All these things can vary, naturally, but that is the most basic way I see people, minus my intuition.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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sp/sx
I have a sliding scale of how much I value MBTI. In a one way it helps me understand people in observing their relationship to the system. At this point I see it as a system that is compelling and has something more to it than pure confirmation bias, but is also largely driven by bias. As a system there are issues with its validity in measurement. One primary reason is that it is self-reporting by nature which is not considered a way to establish validity in psychological research. The biggest problem related to that is the fact that it is not falsifiable. From what I understand there is not a way to identify and correct flaws in the system.

In exploring the system, I have learned about short-comings I have in understanding other people especially in terms of how they relate to this system. I forget how powerfully people internalize it as part of their core identity. It can create as strong a sense of insider and outsider as ethnicity and religion. What surprises me about it is that it accomplishes this without indoctrinating people through their developmental years. How can that happen? Then I have wondered if the fragmentation and eclecticism of our post-modern world leaves people with holes in their sense of self and community and so there is this inclination to latch on to systems that provide identity. In reading this site, I think there has been a thread for every type at this point expressing being misunderstood or hardship based on being type X. That sense of hardship, dismissal, or persecution as part of group identity is a core driving force in religions and might also provide strength to this system.

What also surprises me is that I would expect this process of internalizing MBTI as a self-identity would have the greatest impact on the people who test at "Feelers" in its system because those are the subjective thinkers and the system by its nature is subjective. Yet it is at least equally distributed between T's and F's for locking into the system as a measure of truth and self. This makes me wonder if the process of using "logic vs. empathy" or "objective vs. subjective" reasoning does not have a strong relationship to the way assumptions are selected on which the base the particular reasoning skills. And yet, reason by its nature defines its assumptions because it is the process that subjects assumptions to the null hypothesis and tests them for falsifiability.

Edit: In the end MBTI continues to teach me just how complex people really are.
 
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