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introverts - do people think you're stuck up?

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Has happened to me quite a few times. Especially when I was younger. I realised that it was me holding back that was doing it. This was before I'd heard of MBTI. I made an effort to project myself more and found the problem went away.

As an introvert pushing yourself forward feels wrong in some way. Like you think you're all that... up youself you know? But when I did do it I found people found me less stuck up. 
 

Ouroboros

New member
Joined
Aug 15, 2008
Messages
58
MBTI Type
INFP
Yeah, some people have assumed this about me. It doesn't help that I'm very slow to respond to what people say to me or I forget to respond at all. When I meet someone new, I usually think I won't have anything in common with them, but I don't think I'm a better person than they are. After I know them better, the people who assume I'm stuck up never turn out to be interesting or to be people I want to spend much time with, so it's not a terrible loss to me.

Hmm, that sounds conceited.
 

nanook

a scream in a vortex
Joined
Jul 22, 2007
Messages
1,361
its not just extroverted people who live in an extroverted world without realizing that another world exists. its conformist people, even introverted ones who try to join "that one world".

i am actually stuck, in my attempt to join that one world (in terms of behavior), be it the extroverted world, or the conformist world. but they are stuck in other regards. if they would consider for once, that my "introverted" world is just as real, they'd still imply that their world is higher or more sane. i call bull...

in my head, i am part of a world, that is much more united, than theirs usually is. so, they are the ones who cant join that one world
 

Kyrielle

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,294
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
In high school people thought I was. Not so much now...or at least...if that is the case now, I've not heard anything about it.

It's odd. The less I give a crap about what others think and the more confident I am, the less stuck up I seem. It's odd, because in my mind, the behaviours associated with not giving a crap and being confident strike me as part of being stuck up. Guess I've gotten it backwards or something...
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,038
MBTI Type
ISFP
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496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I haven't been often told I am stuck up, but people have come to some unexpected conclusions about me. Being quiet and a blank canvass, people project all kinds of things onto you.
 

run

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
466
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Yeah, some people have assumed this about me. It doesn't help that I'm very slow to respond to what people say to me or I forget to respond at all. When I meet someone new, I usually think I won't have anything in common with them, but I don't think I'm a better person than they are. After I know them better, the people who assume I'm stuck up never turn out to be interesting or to be people I want to spend much time with, so it's not a terrible loss to me.

Hmm, that sounds conceited.

Nah I think it's sometimes true.
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Many times I've had newly-acquired friends tell me that they had previously thought I was "stuck-up" or "condescending." I've even received alarmingly tearful apologies afterwards (following liquor) that they had me "pegged so wrong." When I asked why, they usually responded with something along the lines of "You just didn't say alot."

Why A = B for so many people, is beyond me. Sensor's straight-forward world?
 

Snow Turtle

New member
Joined
May 28, 2007
Messages
1,335
I've never been told directly what others think of me.

However I find those that believe you were stuck up just don't really understand introversion. I find it difficult to believe that people can't tell the difference between shyness, introversion and arrogance. I'm sure other introverts here can tell the difference.
 

Shadow

New member
Joined
Feb 17, 2009
Messages
453
MBTI Type
INTJ
Everyone knows the stereotype of an introvert is "someone who others think is stuck up/shy/aloof, etc.",

and when I read that, I thought, nah, people aren't like that. Not the majority.

But now I'm starting to think that some people do think that, especially of IxTx types.

What's the consensus? Is it true?

Well I know people think that of me, usually in the context of not knowing how to let guys down gracefully if they approach me in a club/bar. It catches me unawares and being shy I don't know what to do, so I'm rather blunt, or worse I might just mumble something and walk off. I've had a few people react badly to that i.e. "Oh, I see, you think I'm just a piece of s***." It's nothing to do with who they are, it's just they've put me on the spot and I'm running away.

Perhaps in other contexts I may seem aloof because I try to compensate for my lack of self-confidence by projecting a certain self-assuredness. I think the mix of the two can make for an apparently arrogant facade. It's not intentional, but it's probably better socially to be perceived as an arrogant bitch than the shy loser I really am. Or at least that's how I've experienced it. It's not that I'm nasty to people, it's just the way I have about me. Again, all down to being incompetent socially.
 

professor goodstain

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Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
1,785
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ENFP
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7~7
Yep, usually in the context of not knowing how to let guys down gracefully if they approach me in a club/bar. It catches me unawares and being shy I don't know what to do, so I'm rather blunt, or worse I might just mumble something and walk off. I've had a few people react badly to that i.e. "Oh, I see, you think I'm just a piece of s***." It's nothing to do with who they are, it's just they've put me on the spot and I'm running away.

Perhaps in other contexts I may seem aloof because I try to compensate for my lack of self-confidence by projecting a certain self-assuredness. I think the mix of the two can make for an apparently arrogant facade. It's not intentional, but it's probably better socially to be perceived as an arrogant bitch than the shy loser I really am. Or at least that's how I've experienced it. It's not that I'm nasty to people, it's just the way I have about me. Again, all down to being incompetent socially.

Next time you're out, just wear a shirt that sais *If you don't understand mbti-back off/A/hole* But that would only put A/holes like me at an advantage.
 

Shadow

New member
Joined
Feb 17, 2009
Messages
453
MBTI Type
INTJ
Next time you're out, just wear a shirt that sais *If you don't understand mbti-back off/A/hole* But that would only put A/holes like me at an advantage.

Lol :alttongue: That'd probably work actually! Sometimes when I just want to sit quietly on my own I try to look really grumpy so no-one dares approach, but that only makes caring types come over like, "Are you okay?" :doh:
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
3,960
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I haven't been often told I am stuck up, but people have come to some unexpected conclusions about me. Being quiet and a blank canvass, people project all kinds of things onto you.

yeah - despite their type, people naturally make a judgement on your character because they thrive off of closure and are afraid of the unknown
 

professor goodstain

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
1,785
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ENFP
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7~7
Lol :alttongue: That'd probably work actually! Sometimes when I just want to sit quietly on my own I try to look really grumpy so no-one dares approach, but that only makes caring types come over like, "Are you okay?" :doh:

OOPS. (walking away with pride and dignity) I believe i just did that. (Also, walking away with a fine Pilsner in hand) Did your S notice that?
 

Shadow

New member
Joined
Feb 17, 2009
Messages
453
MBTI Type
INTJ
OOPS. (walking away with pride and dignity) I believe i just did that. (Also, walking away with a fine Pilsner in hand) Did your S notice that?

No worries :)
My drunken S certainly would have done. Actually, what your N hasn't noticed is that I've drunk it.
 

run

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
466
MBTI Type
INTP
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5w4
Lol :alttongue: That'd probably work actually! Sometimes when I just want to sit quietly on my own I try to look really grumpy so no-one dares approach, but that only makes caring types come over like, "Are you okay?" :doh:

Its better than being deserted and given-up-on.
 
V

violaine

Guest
To the OP, yes. This used to happen to me all of the time! I would be told after I got to know someone that they had thought I was "stuck up" or a snob. I was always so surprised and wounded as it is at complete odds with what I think and feel. (Not that they would ever see that reaction, lol.) I don't really care as much now. It just makes me *roll eyes* and wonder if the person is not very perceptive or interested in digging below the surface.
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
2,523
MBTI Type
LoLz
The introversion affects me at work the most, not so much at school. Actually, it affects me a lot at school. It's so fucking easy for me to just seclude myself from everyone else. I have to take intentional precautions to make sure I'm still part of society. When first get to work, my energy level is way over the top, mostly because I've had the time before I got there to recharge.

After about 3-4 hours at work without a break, I start to plummet. It becomes several times harder to maintain conversations with people. I retreat into my head, begin analyzing everything going on in my life, think about random things, and before I know it while I'm checking customers out, the whole checkout process will go by and I said about 4 words to them that were automatic. I don't even realize the effect I'm having on the other people because what's happening in my head is just commanding 90% of my attention.

I went into the break room earlier, said hi to one person, scanned the break room and took note of the people inside, then walked out. My supervisor was in there, called me back in and asked why I didn't say hi to her. Mind you, we're friends, so I didn't mind saying it to her since she wouldn't take it the wrong way. I told her, "I acknowledged your presence, I didn't think I had to do anything else." She just got stumped but then said I hurt her feelings. :(

Like someone said, I've learned the difference between shyness, introversion and arrogance. Shyness is easy to spot, the people are just socially inept. It's a matter of social skills. Introversion is just the energy. Arrogance is seen commonly with T's, but much more commonly with INTx's. I can tell an arrogant INTx from a healthy INTx easily, but arrogant INTx's are more interesting.

It makes me think of the inner world of an IN vs. an IS. I don't know what the inside of an IN is like, but is it more imaginative? My thoughts are constantly regarding things going on in my life or things that have happened recently. It could just be Si at work. When I'm really in tune with myself thinking, I start replaying things in my head over and over again, like lines from a book or a tv show or a conversation with someone, or I'll go over a subject at school in my head trying to intentionally recall it. My focus is more on the things that have happened in my life that added significance.
 

run

New member
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Dec 27, 2008
Messages
466
MBTI Type
INTP
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5w4
Like someone said, I've learned the difference between shyness, introversion and arrogance. Shyness is easy to spot, the people are just socially inept. It's a matter of social skills. Introversion is just the energy. Arrogance is seen commonly with T's, but much more commonly with INTx's. I can tell an arrogant INTx from a healthy INTx easily, but arrogant INTx's are more interesting.

I'd say ENTx's are more arrogant. ENTJs with their excellence at what they do
and ENTP with their impatience with slow people.

but yeah, thinkers. Maybe introverted thinkers get the heat more.
 
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