introverts - do people think you're stuck up?

[Shadow]

The introversion affects me at work the most, not so much at school. Actually, it affects me a lot at school. It's so fucking easy for me to just seclude myself from everyone else. I have to take intentional precautions to make sure I'm still part of society. When first get to work, my energy level is way over the top, mostly because I've had the time before I got there to recharge.

After about 3-4 hours at work without a break, I start to plummet. It becomes several times harder to maintain conversations with people. I retreat into my head, begin analyzing everything going on in my life, think about random things, and before I know it while I'm checking customers out, the whole checkout process will go by and I said about 4 words to them that were automatic. I don't even realize the effect I'm having on the other people because what's happening in my head is just commanding 90% of my attention.

Sounds just like me. It is very easy to become secluded for me too. I've literally not seen a friend or family member for the last 2 weeks (probably why I've been on here so much), because I've been studying. Yet I'm fine. It would drive an extravert crazy.

It is the energy isn't it? Like I've said before, it's fine to begin with if you've hyped yourself up about it. That's why I don't like it if people spring things on me without prior warning.

It makes me think of the inner world of an IN vs. an IS. I don't know what the inside of an IN is like, but is it more imaginative? My thoughts are constantly regarding things going on in my life or things that have happened recently. It could just be Si at work. When I'm really in tune with myself thinking, I start replaying things in my head over and over again, like lines from a book or a tv show or a conversation with someone, or I'll go over a subject at school in my head trying to intentionally recall it. My focus is more on the things that have happened in my life that added significance.

Again, same. I rarely go into different dimensions of thought; my thoughts will be about my life and people in my life, my study or work, or broader topics like current affairs and social issues which have practical effects. Occasionally there'll be thoughts of a spiritual nature, but that's when I've been alone for too long. I wouldn't call myself unimaginative, more like untheoretical.

 

[Dali]

Some do before they really get to know me.

 

[Tallulah]

Yup, for a few reasons:

- Aloofness.
- I can be very confident in my viewpoints.
- When I don't like someone, a lot of the time they can tell, either by something I do or don't do.
- I mock people sometimes.
- Not taking certain things seriously, when I'm expected to.
- Not respecting certain things.

Yup.

Yeah, some people have assumed this about me. It doesn't help that I'm very slow to respond to what people say to me or I forget to respond at all. When I meet someone new, I usually think I won't have anything in common with them, but I don't think I'm a better person than they are. After I know them better, the people who assume I'm stuck up never turn out to be interesting or to be people I want to spend much time with, so it's not a terrible loss to me.

Hmm, that sounds conceited.

This is usually true for me, too. Most of the people that would have assumed me to be arrogant are people that I wouldn't have been close to anyway. Something I've finally realized about myself is that I can give off the impression of being snobby because if I don't think I have anything in common with someone, I don't invest a lot of time in getting to know them. I never thought it was snobby, though, because I always assumed they wouldn't necessarily care about being my friend, either. I've just never bought into the fact that everyone has to try to be friends, just because they're stuck working together or whatever. I have learned that people don't think the same way I do, and that they do take it personally. It's exhausting, because I'd much rather save my energy for relationships that are rewarding for me. Honestly, I used to be baffled about why people thought I was a snob, but now I kind of see why they do. But it's really not coming from a place of me thinking I'm better.

Perhaps in other contexts I may seem aloof because I try to compensate for my lack of self-confidence by projecting a certain self-assuredness. I think the mix of the two can make for an apparently arrogant facade. It's not intentional, but it's probably better socially to be perceived as an arrogant bitch than the shy loser I really am. Or at least that's how I've experienced it. It's not that I'm nasty to people, it's just the way I have about me. Again, all down to being incompetent socially.

This is another factor. Because I come across as confident, people never assume I'm shy. They always go for snobby. I feel socially confident around people who are kindred spirits, and I feel like a social disaster in most other situations. But what happens is that people observe me being in my element around my friends, and then they wonder why I'm not that way around them.

The other factor that always gets me is when I'm in a work situation where people want me to go out with them to some bar and hang out with my co-workers. Um, no. I've been around them all day, and I'm ready to go home and NOT socialize. Why is it expected that you have to hang out with co-workers outside of work or you're a snob? UGH. I could handle a co-worker lunch every once in a while, but I don't want to go to some bar after work and hang out indefinitely.

 

[Athenian200]

Yes. But I am, so I don't mind. I really am much better than most of the people who think I'm stuck up. They usually can't even spell correctly, or else they allow such people to influence their opinions.

In fact, I enjoy being thought of as stuck up, because the sort of people who view me as such reveal their own lowly preferences, thus making it easy for me to see them for what they are, and filter them out of my life.

 

[Jeremy]

Nah, I just come off as somewhat awkward and goofy.

 

[Lasting_Pain]

People say I am shy and stuck up. That sometimes irritates me, because it makes no sense to me at all.

 

[Orangey]

Well I've recently been made privy to the fact that my inner lack of self-confidence in social situations is completely imperceptible to the outside world. Where I think my awkward vulnerability is transparent to others, I am in fact being perceived as (to put it in their exact words) "grumpy," "annoyed," "sneering," and "unapproachable." Needless to say, this gave me a WTF!? reaction, because I feel so very far from any of those things in most situations. And then, to add to the trouble, when they do approach me, and I say some joke or other to lighten the tension, this just confirms to them that I was sitting there sneering the entire time.

I don't like how little awareness I have of how I am perceived. It makes my perceptions of myself untrustworthy.

 

[run]

Jeez I'd be happy to get invited to the bar... I wouldn't go but I wouldn't be annoyed...

Maybe I am stuck up.

 

[Lasting_Pain]

Jeez I'd be happy to get invited to the bar... I wouldn't go but I wouldn't be annoyed...

Maybe I am stuck up.

I would not go either.

 

[mortabunt]

People think I'm arrogant. I think that they're stupid. I'm semi arrogant, but only to people that prove their stupidity.

 

[run]

People think I'm arrogant. I think that they're stupid. I'm semi arrogant, but only to people that prove their stupidity.

Thinking that probably only feeds the cycle...

 

[millerm277]

Stuck up? No. I'm regarded as a pretty humble person by most people. However, people that I dislike/don't care about (aka don't know and have no immediate desire to get to know), think of me as: cold, intimidating, serious, and a bit devious. To be fair, all but cold are at least a bit true...

 

[raz]

I had an Easter party last week at work. My supervisor's husband came in an hour or so early with her to walk around our store shopping. I said just a few words to him while checking him out, and he gave me weird looks. I was wondering if it was because I was staying so quiet, even with my supervisor around.

Later, I went to the party, got something to eat, sat down, talked for about a minute with 2 people I barely knew. After 15 minutes, I got up, looked around, and walked out. The supervisor's husband gave me another odd stare as I looked around the area before leaving. I didn't tell anyone I was leaving. I just left. It was getting too be way too much for me and I found it so pointless. That guy just weirded me out.

 

[run]

I think its draining for an extrovert to be around an introvert, just as introverts are drained by the noise.

 

[mortabunt]

By that it means that I am prepared to let people prove themselves intelligent.

 

[raz]

I think its draining for an extrovert to be around an introvert, just as introverts are drained by the noise.

it's draining for an introvert to be around an extravert because I'm trying to plan some small talk the whole time we're next to each other. I've learned to fall back on Ne though for small talk.