MBTI and flirting style

[BlackCat]

I flirt with hot guys. Keeps me sharp. *snaps fingers Al-Pacino-in-Heat style* Flirting for me is dependent on who I'm flirting with. I try to get a read on them and the flirt with them based on that. I think I'm fairly good at it, actually.

*is modest*

Wow. This is probably why you have an INFP boyfriend then, this is actually how I'd want to be flirted with. Someone adjusting to me. It's way better than someone using one strategy that doesn't work on everyone. It's funny, when someone uses that "one strategy" approach it doesn't work or it repels me.

I think I may also relate to this because that's also how I flirt. I adjust to the person and see how far I need to go to get my point across etc.

 

[Biaxident]

I flirt with everyone at every moment. I can't help it and I don't even realize I do it. From the postal carrier to the little old lady on the bus. People call it flirting, but I just don't know how else to talk to people.

 

[chubber]

I never knew how strong I come on.
but apparently I do
I wonder if that is the equivalent of an ESFP.

 

[Qlip]

I never knew how strong I come on.
but apparently I do
I wonder if that is the equivalent of an ESFP.

In my experience ESFPs shamelessly fish for compliments and flirt in such high form it's like they invented it. Maybe.

 

[miss fortune]

I'm generally unaware that I'm apparently flirting...

 

[Poki]

Not sure exactly. I flirt more with people I know, I play with people I dont. Flirting has more purpose behind it then playing.

I have been known sometimes to say flirty things while hoping the person doesn't respond. I only do this when something really fits, but I have no interest in the person. I have only done this with people I know very well also as I am fairly sure they will not respond back in a purposeful flirty way.

 

[Qlip]

Once in a while I'm absolutely shameless, sometimes I'm completely incapable, most of the time I'm on automatic, so I don't know what I do.

 

[senza tema]

Once in a while I'm absolutely shameless, sometimes I'm completely incapable, most of the time I'm on automatic, so I don't know what I do.

Yeah, this.

 

[DreamBeliever]

I really don't think I ever flirt.

 

[Hitoshi-San]

When I'm trying to get someone's attention or trying to get them to like me, I'll do what I can to make them laugh, normally by telling stories and making my presence known in conversations that they're in. More like I'm befriending them.

I'm not sure if I ever like, flirt flirt but I'm sure there's a few people who've figured out that's how I work.

I really don't try too hard, if it's not a real part of me that they can see all the time and not think is phony then I'm not gonna throw it out there.

 

[Bush]

It's been too long since I've flirted. At least intentionally. Though I tend to be aware but stoic enough that I don't do it unintentionally.

I dunno. You just strike up a conversation and be halfway presentable, and then some stuff happens and then you're on a date or in a relationship or something.

 

[small.wonder]

I'm pretty good at flirting with people I know, but crash and burn with strangers (especially if find them attractive ). This is catastrophic because anyone I find attractive gets the idea that I'm not interested, or hate them-- I think it's because I take it too seriously when I feel chemistry.

Just yesterday I was at the airport and had three instances of this. One going through security, who chuckled at me for stacking those plasic bin things that people had just left all over the place. I did return his smile (but it was probably weak) but went into mind my own business mode. I have no idea why I cannot react normally. Then I passed a kind of good looking guy but thought nothing of it, until I realized 5 minutes later he was waiting in line behind me for coffee. He had a Louisiana drawl when he ordered (sorry, I love that) and while we were waiting for our drinks, he glanced at me a few times and cleared his throat but I just could not make eye contact for the life of me.

Stuff like this makes me feel so irreparably broken. I won't even go into the last guy at my gate.

I've had to watch myself with friends and guys I'm comfortable with though, because I can apparently get flirtatious there. *sigh* Why is this so backwards?!

 

[Riva]

I'm pretty good at flirting with people I know, but crash and burn with strangers (especially if find them attractive ). This is catastrophic because anyone I find attractive gets the idea that I'm not interested, or hate them-- I think it's because I take it too seriously when I feel chemistry.

Just yesterday I was at the airport and had three instances of this. One going through security, who chuckled at me for stacking those plasic bin things that people had just left all over the place. I did return his smile (but it was probably weak) but went into mind my own business mode. I have no idea why I cannot react normally. Then I passed a kind of good looking guy but thought nothing of it, until I realized 5 minutes later he was waiting in line behind me for coffee. He had a Louisiana drawl when he ordered (sorry, I love that) and while we were waiting for our drinks, he glanced at me a few times and cleared his throat but I just could not make eye contact for the life of me.

Stuff like this makes me feel so irreparably broken. I won't even go into the last guy at my gate.

I've had to watch myself with friends and guys I'm comfortable with though, because I can apparently get flirtatious there. *sigh* Why is this so backwards?!

I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet


Keep telling yourself that. Also do this. It has worked for me 4 times now.

 

[small.wonder]

I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet
I will find some stupid excuse to talk to the next attractive stranger I meet


Keep telling yourself that. Also do this. It has worked for me 4 times now.

I did actually try to think of something, anything to say to him, but everything I thought of seemed weird. I mean, we were strangers at the airport, waiting for coffee. I almost always try to talk to my seat neighbors on the plane, but this was so temporary. In hindsight, I should have said something about liking his accent. On the other hand, he seemed kind of tongue tied too-- but perhaps that's because I was being so stand off-ish. Argh.

 

[evilrubberduckie]

Hey. You have a dick. I have tits. Your face looks nice. Perfect combo. Take me out to dinner.

... it always works.

 

[RobinSkye]

Hey. You have a dick. I have tits. Your face looks nice. Perfect combo. Take me out to dinner.

... it always works.

>You have tits
>No vagina for that dick?

k.

 

[Qlip]

I just remembered that I had an unintended flirting fit a couple of weeks ago. It was Friday and work was winding down with drinks, I ended up talking to our office manager. I figured out that I was being flirtatious, because she dropped no so subtle hints more than once tp me that she was gay. It must have been in my eyes maybe, I've seen it from other ENFPs, I can imagine what it's like when it's on.

I actually knew that she was a lesbian, and I wasn't actually trying anything. I just get random intense crushes, they're not even romantic. In her case, I was really drawn to the way she carried herself. Also, this is weird, but she always kept her hair up, but when she took it down is was this glorious chopped up mess of roots and frizz.

 

[Riva]

I did actually try to think of something, anything to say to him, but everything I thought of seemed weird. I mean, we were strangers at the airport, waiting for coffee. I almost always try to talk to my seat neighbors on the plane, but this was so temporary. In hindsight, I should have said something about liking his accent. On the other hand, he seemed kind of tongue tied too-- but perhaps that's because I was being so stand off-ish. Argh.

Trust me and do what I told you the next time.

There is nothing awkward about it. You just made a genuine mistake due to misidentification he/she would think. If you do that he/she would only do one of the three reactions mentioned below -

Say no and turn away
Say no and smile with you
Say no, think for a bit and tell you where he/she works

Try it...

Telling him he has a nice accent is a direct approach where you are actually complimenting him on something. When you use this on girls it almost always scares them, if you use it on guys it might not scare them but you wouldn't have any conversation material left.

With my method you have. I'll tell you what you need to do next if the conversation dies down, if you need to know.

 

[small.wonder]

Trust me and do what I told you the next time.

There is nothing awkward about it. You just made a genuine mistake due to misidentification he/she would think. If you do that he/she would only do one of the three reactions mentioned below -

Say no and turn away
Say no and smile with you
Say no, think for a bit and tell you where he/she works

Try it...

Telling him he has a nice accent is a direct approach where you are actually complimenting him on something. When you use this on girls it almost always scares them, if you use it on guys it might not scare them but you wouldn't have any conversation material left.

With my method you have. I'll tell you what you need to do next if the conversation dies down, if you need to know.

Sorry, I think I missed what you were suggesting-- I thought it was merely to comment on something situational (like his accent). I would much rather turn that compliment into conversation, "you have a charming accent, where are you headed?" (since we are in an airport) than make up some crap about recognizing him when I don't. Lying will never fly for me.

No offense, but perhaps you should consider the Enneagram type of an individual, before you give them advice.

 

[Riva]

Sorry, I think I missed what you were suggesting-- I thought it was merely to comment on something situational (like his accent). I would much rather turn that compliment into conversation, "you have a charming accent, where are you headed?" (since we are in an airport) than make up some crap about recognizing him when I don't. Lying will never fly for me.

No offense, but perhaps you should consider the Enneagram type of an individual, before you give them advice.

E4s don't lie? Not even white lies? I didn't know.

It's a simple white lie.

Perhaps you would change the opener a bit to remove any lies from it.

Directly asking someone - especially a female - where they are headed or where their accent is from freaks them out like hell, believe me.

But with men, it might not, so I guess it might not scare them away.

Good luck.