Derpravity
New member
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2013
- Messages
- 111
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I can't wing it at all if I happen to meet someone I'm superficially attracted to. I just act normal and probably feel a bit extra awkward.
But when I have the chance to take my time and plan ahead, my assertiveness comes out. That's probably why I enjoy meeting people through the internet instead. Funnily enough, though I'm really aloof and reticent in general, all the times I've been into someone, I've been the pursuer, and very assertive about it. Genuinely made a fool of myself every time.
For example, I had a nice exchange on a dating site with an INTP, and he ended the conversation by saying "well maybe we'll bump into each other one day." I took that as a polite sign of disinterest, but a few weeks later I was thinking about how he'd been so much more interesting to talk to than anyone else since, and I sent him a message asking directly if there was a reason he shut the conversation down, and whether he wanted to talk more/meet me in person, and stating in no unclear terms that I was interested in him and wanted to know whether it was mutual. (It turned out he was a little down on himself when he sent that message, and was keen to talk/flattered; we've been involved for almost 5 years now.)
So yeah, as awkward and impassive as I am in most situations, when I'm able to set the parameters to my liking and someone draws my attention (a rare occurrence), I go for it. That person becomes a preoccupation until I can think of a good reason not to be interested in them. I don't wait for them to notice me. It's just, "Hi. I like you. Do you like me? We should do things." I'll be pretty much as playful and affectionate from there as they seem to be comfortable with.
At the same time I've learned that I'm pretty much oblivious to being pursued, and being flirted with usually just irritates me, unless it comes along with more intellectually stimulating content.
But when I have the chance to take my time and plan ahead, my assertiveness comes out. That's probably why I enjoy meeting people through the internet instead. Funnily enough, though I'm really aloof and reticent in general, all the times I've been into someone, I've been the pursuer, and very assertive about it. Genuinely made a fool of myself every time.
For example, I had a nice exchange on a dating site with an INTP, and he ended the conversation by saying "well maybe we'll bump into each other one day." I took that as a polite sign of disinterest, but a few weeks later I was thinking about how he'd been so much more interesting to talk to than anyone else since, and I sent him a message asking directly if there was a reason he shut the conversation down, and whether he wanted to talk more/meet me in person, and stating in no unclear terms that I was interested in him and wanted to know whether it was mutual. (It turned out he was a little down on himself when he sent that message, and was keen to talk/flattered; we've been involved for almost 5 years now.)
So yeah, as awkward and impassive as I am in most situations, when I'm able to set the parameters to my liking and someone draws my attention (a rare occurrence), I go for it. That person becomes a preoccupation until I can think of a good reason not to be interested in them. I don't wait for them to notice me. It's just, "Hi. I like you. Do you like me? We should do things." I'll be pretty much as playful and affectionate from there as they seem to be comfortable with.
At the same time I've learned that I'm pretty much oblivious to being pursued, and being flirted with usually just irritates me, unless it comes along with more intellectually stimulating content.
