Distinguishing I from repressed E

[Sahara]

Perhaps a refinement would be to see if a "party" situation is draining or recharging (I find it draining even if I am enjoying myself). Thought the energy expendeture makes it hard for me to believe that even extraverts can not feel tired afterwards.

I hate parties lol, always have, I prefer clubs, bars and gigs, parties means you have to make small talk with too many people.

I should have added above, I still never liked having to socialise on a large scale, a few friends in a club, is still just you and your friends and you don;t have to speak to anyone you don't know. I stil prefered having company, just a few close friends though.

 

[ygolo]

Wow! you post fast. I was adding a minor edit, by the time you posted.

 

[heart]

See, if it wasn't for message boards I would unbelievably lonely. When the tests asked me if I could live as a hermit I answered yes, but only because I no longer trust people, if I still had my former trust and optimism and if I had answered that question 10yrs ago, I would have said no way.

I find too much company over very long periods to be draining, and need time alone, but when I still wanted friends I couldn't go too long without company, I would always be out socialising, I mean always.

I really wonder if my current introversion is based more on my islamic marriage in which introversion is a muslim womans expected attitude. Prior to that it was very rare that I chose to be alone, even if it meant hanging out with people that I found annoying just as long as I was with people doing stuff.

Being alone now is because I just don't like people as much anymore, yet I still constantly reach out across the net for contact.

What do you think?

EDIT: I score 57% introversion if that helps.

I get lonely too and being lonely or not lonely is not the same thing as I am talking about here. I get lonely and then I want to be around people, but when I spend time with people, I am drawing from an energy bank and sooner or later I will NEED time alone to recharge, whether I really want to withdraw from those others or not. I expend energy when around others and gain energy when alone. It is really not a question of being lonely or fed up with people. I do get fed up with people too, but that's sort of different, more my own ideas about people and how they think and behave rather than introversion I think. These ideas are so hard for me to put into words.

Being around my husband is not really draining because he is introverted too and we can spend long periods of time doing our own quiet thing in the same room. Hard to explain.

I prefer quieter people to loud and rowdy types. I prefer when I do seek relief for being lonely to being one on one with people or very small groups, but prefer one on one and that's not cultural I do not think because I was not raised in any religion.

 

[Sahara]

Being around my husband is not really draining because he is introverted too and we can spend long periods of time doing our own quiet thing in the same room. Hard to explain.

I prefer quieter people to loud and rowdy types. I prefer when I do seek relief for being lonely to being one on one with people or very small groups, but prefer one on one and that's not cultural I do not think because I was not raised in any religion.

Ah yes, same here, I liked company, but small groups, one on one was always my favourite.

 

[Sahara]

Wow! you post fast. I was adding a minor edit, by the time you posted.

Who me? (I so hope you were talking to me otherwise my dance of pride will become a dance of shame lol)

 

[Lateralus]

There is a second aspect to I and E i have wondered about. That is the need to socialize in groups vs. with individuals. My preference is alone time or time spent one-on-one. Groups short-circuit me quickly, but my need for individual communication makes it on the radar for personal need, as does my alone time.

I know this is not an absolute, but I've found that ENXPs prefer socializing with individuals or small groups as opposed to crowds. I've noticed that extroverted sensors enjoy crowds far more than me.

I don't like crowds, unless I'm the center of attention.

 

[The Ü™]

Couldn't selfishness measure the degree of Introversion in a person?

 

[ptgatsby]

Who me? (I so hope you were talking to me otherwise my dance of pride will become a dance of shame lol)

I think it was me least, the post I was answering was edited.

But in regards to the INTPc cross linked post, yes, along those lines


If you take the biological basis, repression here would likely mean negative conditioning and a biological emphasis. You'd see how "E" they are if you find a way to either control or reduce the impact of the negative conditioning. that's the only real way to see if they are really "E", since otherwise they should be the same. The difference between an I suddenly wanting attention (ie: arousal) would be no different than an E not wanting to draw attention (ie: fear of reprisal, whatever it was that induced the repression in the first case).

 

[Littlelostnf]

Good question. I don't have any ideas I would trust, having only Ni and Fe to go on, but here's one anyway:

I think that a repressed extravert would feel a sense of mild depression at being alone all the time, but feel powerless to change their situation, and grow accustomed to it. A true introvert would actually work to preserve their isolation.

I feel like I'm a repressed extravert. I don't get depressed at being alone at all. I live alone..(totally enjoy that) and don't ness want to change that. I don't work to preserve my isolation but when I start having people over all the time (they'll ask to come over and of course I say sure come on over) I start to also after a bit (two weekends in a row) start craving my alone time.

I don't think it's so cut and dried. I think there are dif levels of Extroversion just like their are dif levels of introversion and I fall into the section of E that really doesn't mind at all alone time. I wouldn't mind a few weekends of just me time.

 

[ygolo]

Who me? (I so hope you were talking to me otherwise my dance of pride will become a dance of shame lol)

I was originally refering to ptgatsby. But since you posted by the time I could post my amazement of his posting abilities, you're even more impressive.

 

[heart]

I don't like crowds, unless I'm the center of attention.

Being the center of attention in real life would be like my worst nightmare...

 

[Usehername]

repressed E's gain momentum as they hear themselves talk, free associating while their word is out in the open


true I's need miniature pockets of I-time when confronted with difficult questions, even if they just came from solitude.

I think you've created a false dichotomy here... I do both of those. But I know I'm an introvert. I'm just not an extreme introvert.

Maybe it's to do with Te, though? When others set me up on an idea, sometimes I get really excited b/c it kickstarts my Ni with a fully open valve of Te... and crazy ideas get linked together (Ni), and my Te just flies to share them with other people. I need the correct stimulation, though. Tends to be ENXX

 

[Usehername]

See, if it wasn't for message boards I would unbelievably lonely. When the tests asked me if I could live as a hermit I answered yes, but only because I no longer trust people, if I still had my former trust and optimism and if I had answered that question 10yrs ago, I would have said no way.

I find too much company over very long periods to be draining, and need time alone, but when I still wanted friends I couldn't go too long without company, I would always be out socialising, I mean always.

I really wonder if my current introversion is based more on my islamic marriage in which introversion is a muslim womans expected attitude. Prior to that it was very rare that I chose to be alone, even if it meant hanging out with people that I found annoying just as long as I was with people doing stuff.

Being alone now is because I just don't like people as much anymore, yet I still constantly reach out across the net for contact.

What do you think?

EDIT: I score 57% introversion if that helps.

I think:

Humans are social beings. Although it's possible to score 100% I on a personality test, I would hypothesize that anyone who is TRULY 100% introverted is clinically crazy. (And that goes the same for 100% E)

It's also been my experience that humans need meaningful exchange... even moreso if you're NF, I'd bet. (NFs cannot not be personal? PUMII?)
I feel the need for meaningful exchange, when I don't get it I get lonely. And I'm an INT.

I think there may be a feminine aspect, as well. I really think a female needs this more than males. So, even a very introverted female (especially the NFs) would need meaningful exchange.

I don't think I can answer if you're an I or E, but I do think regardless you need to take the risks and get out there and find some friends. You don't need huge amounts, but you need real friends. I've done the "hole up and avoid social contact" thing for a full year (just choosing not to see my friends, to the point when no one contacted me b/c I'd just say I was "busy") and in retrospect, I was mildly depressed because of it.
My whole life was stagnated because I wasn't meaningfully interacting with others. You need this--go out and do it.

Yeah, you might get burned again.

But I don't think you can risk not doing this... I'd venture to guess that by choosing to not get burned, in the long run it's far more painful to be lonely.

(I also think loneliness is pretty common among females in general... even extraverted ones!)

Your life will be more full if you go out and make friends again.

 

[heart]

I think the whole feeling lonely thing is not the same as gathering energy from being around others. I do not think being lonely is the same as wanting to be around people to energize. Feeling anti-social is also not the same as needing time alone to recharge.

 

[Lateralus]

I don't even understand what it means to gain energy from socializing. That defies the laws of physics. EVERYONE gets tired when they socialize. People might tire at different rates, but no one starts out exhausted, then feels refreshed after socializing. I just don't buy into this concept. As an extrovert, I certainly enjoy socializing, but I have limits. Eventually I get tired.

 

[heart]

...no one starts out exhausted, then feels refreshed after socializing.

You need to meet my brother.

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

For the personality matrices buffs out there (and anyone else interested in speculating), something I've wondered about: how would you distinguish between an introvert and a repressed extravert?

Well you have to get to know the person fairly well first.

I was a repressed extravert for much of my life though. I'd spend lots of time alone and get depressed, but because I am not particularly reflective I didn't realize that I was an extravert for quite a while. I was a senior in college before I came to the realization that I actually feel a lot better when I am with people, compared to when I am by myself.

Before I realized I was an extravert though I'd often like to go to hang out at public places by myself. I think it was nice just to be around people. I might walk around the mall, or just sit in the food court and watch all the people. I went to see a lot of movies by myself too.

So I think the ultimate test to see if someone is an extravert or introvert is to let them set up their ideal social situation where they would feel the most comfortable. An extravert would probably describe a situation where many of their friends were together with them, while an introvert would prefer to be with one or two at a time (even if they have a lot of friends and have trouble deciding who the one or two are).

I don't even understand what it means to gain energy from socializing. That defies the laws of physics. EVERYONE gets tired when they socialize. People might tire at different rates, but no one starts out exhausted, then feels refreshed after socializing. I just don't buy into this concept. As an extrovert, I certainly enjoy socializing, but I have limits. Eventually I get tired.

I might get tired physically, but mentally or emotionally I feel energized being in a crowd. My mind becomes more focused, and if I am in a heavy social situation for a long time it can be something of an adrenaline rush. It's kind of like exercise. Sure technically it tires you out, but at the same time it gets you going and makes you feel like you have more energy.

 

[The Ü™]

It seems everyone here is an Extravert, then. Am I the only one who doesn't have friends (I mean, other than Internet)?

I'm with Lateralus, I have no idea what being "energized" is. At times, I can be extremely energetic and hyper. Sometimes, I just like listening to myself talk. But do I like being around people is a whole different story.

E and I seems to have much more to do with energy expenditure or conservation than sociability. Remember, it's directing energy either outward or inward.

In addition to an I preference, I'd assume a lot of sociability has to do with the N preference, which sort of lessens the desire for the concreteness here-and-now nature of social activity. Honestly, social activity requires so much attention to detail that it's ultimately tiresome.

But sometimes I wonder if I actually am an Introvert -- a lot of people perceive me as very energetic and exuberant. But family members perceive me as rather quiet.

 

[Athenian200]

It seems everyone here is an Extravert, then. Am I the only one who doesn't have friends (I mean, other than Internet)?

Actually, no. I have no friends outside of the internet, although I have a few acquaintances from high school I worked on projects with, but didn't bother to keep up with because I was too different from them. I talk to family members occasionally, but they don't usually understand me either. I like getting sympathy and encouragement occasionally, though once I've gotten that I prefer to withdraw again.

 

[Wolf]

It seems everyone here is an Extravert, then. Am I the only one who doesn't have friends (I mean, other than Internet)?

I work with people, I deal with people. I have no real life friends here at all, I don't know the names of any of my neighbors, and I've never said a thing to any of them. I have two people I would consider friends that are not primarily through the internet, and they live somewhere else. Online, I count about seven people as friends.