How to distinguish INTJ and INFJ

[entropie]

The good thing at last is, if the IJ poison will be finally developed, it will not make a change

 

[TaylorS]

Thinking about it for a while I'm starting to think that I am an INFJ, at least based on my behavior and emotional state these last 2 weeks of hell since my friend was raped. I've been emphatically sucking up so much pain that I'm getting nightmares and panic attacks. :sad:

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Thinking about it for a while I'm starting to think that I am an INFJ, at least based on my behavior and emotional state these last 2 weeks of hell since my friend was raped. I've been emphatically sucking up so much pain that I'm getting nightmares and panic attacks. :sad:

I don't think you should be typing yourself after such a traumatic event.

 

[TaylorS]

I don't think you should be typing yourself after such a traumatic event.

Perhaps so, But I have been questioning whether my axillary is Te for a while anyway, because though descriptions of INTJs match me on a superficial level my motivations are much more those of an INFJ. I've ALWAYS been known as "the sensitive, understanding guy" and people are surprised when I tell them I have Asperger's Syndrome because despite my social screw-ups I don't fit the un-empathetic, tone-deaf stereotype.

 

[a24kar]

This is perfect.

 

[a24kar]

Agreed, the INFJ type compared to the INTJ type has much more of an interest/passion in working with living feeling people. Where the INTJ can feel just as complete I think working with non-living things like engineering or chemistry. INTJ will naturally excel with the not human elements whereas the INFJ will naturally excel with human elements.

 

[a24kar]

^will get angry openly

very true, INTJs I think, since they are much less concerned with others feelings, will not restrain expressions of anger/frustrations the same way that I think the INFJ type tends to.

 

[a24kar]

This is indeed what makes an INFJ a peculiar type, the strangest of all no doubt.

It should be noted however that Introverted Intuition precedes Extroverted Feeling in the psyche of the INFJ. The two functions have a master-slave relationship, as this is the relationship all dominant functions have with regard to the lower faculties.

By itself, one may argue that Fe does tend to equate success with popularity, however the way the Fe of the INFJ works is very heavily influenced by Introverted Intuition. Introverted Intuition tends to be chiefly concerned with conjuring novel ideas, especially in relation to its external environment. (The external environment is relevant because Ni is a perceiving function and all perceiving functions tend to be concerned with their environment, as the environment is what is perceived. For this reason INJs are renowned as social critics and champions of moral or political views. Nietzsche, Sartre, Simon de Beauvoir and Ayn Rand are cases in point.) Extroverted Feeling, as aforementioned, is subordinated to Introverted Intuition. Hence, very often the INFJ manipulates the social conventions to the end of promoting their vision.

Hence, unlike an Fe dominant type, instead of behaving in accordance with the social conventions, the INFJ behaves in accordance to what he/she feels the social conventions should be like. It should be noted however that despite the fact that Introverted Intuition is superior to Extroverted Feeling in the psyche of the INFJ, Introverted Intuition by itself does not easily give one a clear perspective on life. That is the case because it merely leads to hunches and not coherent ideas. For this reason the INFJ reluctantly obeys social conventions as he or she cannot find a compelling reason to stand by their visions. In most cases however, the natural individualistic disposition of the INFJ prevails and he/she disregards the social convention in favor of following his or her vision. Because the INFJ sees no justifiable reason to behave in a way they did in that case, they experience inner conflict.

Ni is highly individualistic and idiosyncratic, Fe is conventional and collectivistic. Unless the INFJ has a highly cultivated Thinking faculty they cannot conclusively decide which way of behaving is appropriate. The one they have a hunch is appropriate (Ni way) or what they 'know' to be appropriate as a result of convention worshipping (Fe).

There is no doubt in my mind that this is the type most affected by inner turmoil.

I agree I believe 100%. I think I personally am an INFJ with the more highly developed Thinking faculties as mentioned in this post

 

[entropie]

I agree I believe 100%. I think I personally am an INFJ with the more highly developed Thinking faculties as mentioned in this post

you are our man in Venice !

 

[the state i am in]

^Yes, I think my compartmentalizing is a coping/reactive strategy rather than the way I normally approach the world in the first instance. I definitely feel all things crashing together the first chance I get if I have been keeping something painful at bay in order to work or fulfill some responsibility.

I agree the desire to communicate the inner world is there. I think I have just developed a very particular preference for expression. Most often in writing, (usually just for myself), often through what I do for work at those times I get to please myself, rarely in speaking with someone. Failing that I will keep it to myself.

i find if i don't communicate it to someone something, it just gets squelched and i don't really feel or savor the feel of it at all. like the articulation is what i ride, what lifts me up, gives flight to it, etc. what is your enneagram type? and do you feel extremely disappointed at the wasted opportunity to communicate something special, when the moment passes you by?

 

[Haphazard]

This makes me unsure. =/

 

[Saslou]

Well from my point of view i can only tell what my ex (INTJ, 40 yr old male) was -

Miserable bastard, serious bouts of depression and feeling sorry for himself, would continuously think about bettering himself but would never actually do it, he needed some else to push him, believer in justice, good friend if you want a logical answer to your problems with no emotion involved, selfish, emotionally retarded, pushes blame instead of taking accountability, WILL make you see his point of view which is always right, he wasn't all bad though .. i married him, now i am going to divorce him.. Lmao .. that's about it ..

I am reading the above laughing my head off .. it's all good ..

 

[hokie912]

I tend to keep my inner world to myself as well. Often times, I don't want to communicate what I think/feel/conceive/am pondering. Putting things into words is an unwieldy process. Unsatisfying and one dimensional. It lessens my enjoyment of the experience, especially if the person you are with isn't into the kind of things you are pondering.

(Though, there are not many things better than an exchange of ideas with someone where you can follow each others' trail and build/refine concepts and understanding together. )

Oh my, I find this to be true for me, too! Figuring out precisely how to communicate what you're thinking or feeling is overwhelming at times, and being a perfectionist makes it that much more frustrating when you can't get it just right. In some ways, I'm stronger with empathizing/active listening than with communicating my own feelings. I can easily pick up on how someone's feeling and reflect it back to them, but there are times that I can't for the life of me explain myself. I'm also preoccupied with whether I'm being overly emotional/cliché/whatever when expressing myself, which is stupid, but it happens. I tend to fare better with expressing thoughts than feelings and probably can come across as more T than F sometimes.

I also totally agree that exchanging ideas with someone who just gets where you're coming from is the best feeling in the world. It's nice when you don't have to struggle so much to explain yourself. It's particularly true when talking to other NJs...such rewarding conversations.

Agreed, the INFJ type compared to the INTJ type has much more of an interest/passion in working with living feeling people.

I don't really know that this is true as a rule, but I have found that I'm more interested in people, period. Not even living, feeling people, but human nature in general. I found that when I was a biology major, I was much more attracted to anything I could relate directly to human behavior (evolutionary biology, genetics) and much less interested in the animal/plant classes. History, political science and philosophy are quite appealing as well. I do like working with people, but I like trying to understand how they work even more. But, again, that's just me... I don't think you could say that INFJs are into people and INTJs aren't.

 

[whimsical]

intjs are more cold & logical whereas infjs are more passionate about their feelings & the feelings of others

 

[the state i am in]

In some ways, I'm stronger with empathizing/active listening than with communicating my own feelings. I can easily pick up on how someone's feeling and reflect it back to them, but there are times that I can't for the life of me explain myself. I'm also preoccupied with whether I'm being overly emotional/cliché/whatever when expressing myself, which is stupid, but it happens. I tend to fare better with expressing thoughts than feelings and probably can come across as more T than F sometimes.

i feel like this all the time. i remember one of the infj descriptions talked about needing context. how easy it is to write a beautifully flowing letter, but writing from a nowhere that doesn't exist feels next to impossible. it's one of the reasons it seems like infjs overuse the quotation feature, it helps us start from somewhere and serves as a point of interlocution for our thoughts and feelings to congregate around. Ni senses how things fit together so well and what their represent, it becomes constricting and squeezed dry to find a safe place to begin. thoughts are more ready-made, feels like rolling down the hill once the slaloms are already in place.

 

[Lotr246]

Ayn Rand or Fyodor Dostoevsky?

 

[tibby]

i feel like this all the time. i remember one of the infj descriptions talked about needing context. how easy it is to write a beautifully flowing letter, but writing from a nowhere that doesn't exist feels next to impossible. it's one of the reasons it seems like infjs overuse the quotation feature, it helps us start from somewhere and serves as a point of interlocution for our thoughts and feelings to congregate around. Ni senses how things fit together so well and what their represent, it becomes constricting and squeezed dry to find a safe place to begin. thoughts are more ready-made, feels like rolling down the hill once the slaloms are already in place.

Definately, that's what I've wrote about before I think, if you give a very broad context (meaning of life) my mind gets so full of potential and possibilities it will not make sense to anyone because you can't make sense with that broadness, because at that point it becomes so abstract (which of course will make the most sense to me, but no one else) but if you give something more specific, (do we have a better way to understand reality than science) you can build the tangents and possibilites around that specified. Ni creates so many possibilities, everything could be anything and there's just too much to choose from if you give a blank slate of everythingness to work it with.

INTJ I know seems very calm and level-headed, her know-it-all attitude could be misinterpreted as simple arrogance if you didn't know better, she's just in perfect sync with her abilities and self, she knows what she knows and she knows she knows it all. Confidence (/might seem like arrogance). INTJs are the people other kids are secretly jealous and scared of at school. INFJs? No clue about them lot. They're Fe, out and about more.

 

[Billy]

I would be curious to see how INFJ's respond to this.

affected by inner turmoil is a funny way of saying, there is never a moments rest to trying to figure out who I am, and how things make me feel without much success... Ive tried so many changes of clothing, trying to figure out whats right for me... the more I go the less Identity I feel I have, I feel like my life has been defined by lies, I spent a lifetime protecting my younger siblings like a guard dog, now that everyone is older and the family is dying I feel utterly lost in the identity department. And the rest was about worrying what those around me thought, felt, saw, and trying to keep everyone happy, I was a notorious people pleaser as a kid. I liked the feeling of making my family or coaches proud of my ability and what they taught me.

For the 1st time in my life, this close to 30, I feel like I am starting all over again trying to figure out who I am. Every day is long and drawn out, questioning constantly, judging myself for actions I haven't committed but thought of committing... it never ends. And I dont just follow thoughts a few clicks into the "plausibility" meter, I go like 20 years forward trying to see how what I would do would effect others and what it could mean and do... this stuff is going through my head non stop all the time.

I smoke a lot of bud to lay my head out though...

 

[Halla74]

Differences? Similarities? Is each on an Ni quest, but with different aims?

My wife is INFJ.
My brother is INTJ.

The differences between them are staggering, both at the anatomical and typological levels.

 

[Fidelia]

You're funny, Halla!

I would agree that INFJs have a huge amount of inner turmoil.

I tend to want to reform, re-arrange or change most of the organizations I have been part of, but want to be really sure of why I feel the way I do and what people's reactions are likely to be before I would attempt it. Right now I am wondering if I can even continue in this career because the prevailing (although uncohesive) philosophy in schools is one that I think is very counter-intuitive and is messing up a whole generation of people both socially and academically. I am considering either striking out on my own to start a different sort of program or school, or else writing/speaking about it. In some way, I want to have a larger impact.

I like things compartmentalized in a sense - I feel better when I feel like I have some sense of sorting people out into files in my head. I'm happy to refile them though if new information comes to light. It it is satisfying to know where I'm at with all of the people in my world and to collect more complete information. In other senses I find it extremely hard to compartmentalize. When I feel stressed/sad, I may deal with it fine in a rational sense, but my body still is affected - sick stomach, shoulder tension, weariness etc. I also find that because everything in the world is so interconnected with other things, I have a hard time drawing firm lines between them, whether it is writing a paper and deciding on the boundaries and organization of it, or coming to a conclusive, quick decision without second-guessing my judgement when someone challenges it (even if I'm quite sure I'm right).

I probably want more than anything to be known by the people I am close to. I may not divulge all my thoughts right away, but it is usually more out of unsureness of someone's reaction and wanting to be sure that I have thought it through completely before presenting it, rather than a wish to keep anyone out. I can be hurt by some people's reactions and that presents a problem when someone close to me acts insensitively or doesn't value the things/people that I do (which are an extension of who I am). It feels like a rejection of me personally, even though I realize they do not consider it that way. If it's someone I love though, I feel compelled to be open, but then am hurt by their reaction. With an acquaintance, I am more generically nice and will neither have conflict with them (as I would with someone I truly cared about), nor will I share my innermost self, although on the surface, most people would say I'm fairly open. I will give my opinions and judgement on things though if I believe it would be beneficial AND the person really wants to know. I'm not sure how much enneagram plays into my level of openness though. I am an so/sx, which maybe makes some difference.