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Personality and Gender

rdonovan1

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Dec 1, 2008
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I was just wondering if anyone might have any suggestions as to how I can determine my MBTI code and my Enneagram code.

I have been attempting to study both for a long time and so far have not been able to really figure it out totally. In some respects I seem to have many of the characteristics of an ESTP, while in other respects I tend to have the characteristics of an ESTJ and another book that I have been looking at has suggested that I might even be an ESFJ.

I got involved in this a long time ago because I have been introduced to the world of seduction and attraction and as a result I have been looking at all of my preveious relationships with women and my interactions with them and have tried desperately to figure myself out but so far have been unsuccessful at it.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can really be sure as to what I am on both the Enneagram and the MBTI?
 

rdonovan1

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Dec 1, 2008
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I don't know, I'm also trying to figure out my own type. :smile:


Well I guess that makes two of us then as I am very confused as to what my type is and as to how it relates to both business and to relationships.

Hopefully someone will come along and help us out.


At one time I read a book called 'Personality Selling' and it was pretty damn good, but unfortunately I did not have anything else in which to draw from.

I have also been studying NLP and the enneagram as well as the works of Dr. Milton Erickson in the hopes of figuring it all out, but so far I have not had much luck with it all as of yet and I am hoping that maybe someone out there can help to shed some light on things.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I have been attempting to study both for a long time and so far have not been able to really figure it out totally. In some respects I seem to have many of the characteristics of an ESTP, while in other respects I tend to have the characteristics of an ESTJ and another book that I have been looking at has suggested that I might even be an ESFJ.

ESTP generally is a "gamesman," he likes to jockey for position but has no qualms about being in a situation and having to respond to best advantage. There's a thrill that comes with succeeding over great odds due to his skill in adjusting to what's happening. ("I can take whatever you throw at me... and kick your butt in the process.") The Se primary means there's a certain thrill in experiencing things in the moment and using internal logic to react to them. They also have more of a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" and can be loyal to family and friends -- whoever they accept as part of their "group;" in a battle situation, they usually expect their teammates to watch their backs. (Lotsa "we're a team!" talk if they're in sales, for example.)

ESTJ is more an administrator type and enjoys having more control over a situation, where he can dictate terms rather than simply adjust to them. ("I'm in charge, so stay in line, mister!") He tends to want to impose logical processes and structure on things in order to make them function according to plan. ESTJ is more loyal to a plan and the logic of the situation than necessarily to the people involved, but they'll also change their plan IF you can show them logically why it is not functioning correctly; meanwhile, they'll fight to keep their old process in place until a new one is proven to be better. They don't deal with ambiguity as well as ESTP does.

[btw, ESTP tends to be more maverick/anti-establishment in his approach; ESTJ tends to BE the establishment.]

ESFJ does this sort of thing as well but more on the relational/organizational end of things. Process also is geared towards helping people and improving society and the organization which is comprised of people. They, like ESTJ, are also willing to change if it's clear that society is changing and the old mores no longer work; but they still (the healthy ones) draw good boundaries. (For example, if they were married to a spouse who came out as gay and planned to pursue that lifestyle, once they got past any scorched-earth responses, they'd probably say, "Fine," and accept it and go from there; but they'd also probably end the relationship because the rules had changed and they don't feel the same compulsion to "duty forever!" that ISFJ feels.)

I got involved in this a long time ago because I have been introduced to the world of seduction and attraction and as a result I have been looking at all of my preveious relationships with women and my interactions with them and have tried desperately to figure myself out but so far have been unsuccessful at it.

If that's your focus, I'd look at ESTP first.
They tend to love that sort of stuff.
(And Enneagram Three.)
 

rdonovan1

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Dec 1, 2008
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Hmmm.... That sounds interesting. I'm pretty sure that I am an extrovert as I do love to go out and mix it up and to meet new people and I am not scared to fight if necessary, but for some reason when I get into new situations in which I am not entirely sure of I tend to hang back and to see what is happening before I do or say anythning as I am not always sure as to how people will react and perhaps that is due to a combination of fear and not being able to fully read people because I just don't know the ennegram and the MBTI as well as I should.

I'm not sure if it helps at all but one thing that I have notice about myself is that like the ESTP I tend to have a lot of experience in a lot of things, but I am not real well read and more often than not people do seem to misunderstand me and that is probably because I don't do a good enough job of expressing and presenting myself. Also like the ESTP I am not afraid of taking risks or of change, but unlike the ESTP I do tend to have a lot of regrets about things in my past in which I feel I should have done better and perhaps it's wrong, but I do think about those things and I try to figure out ways in which to do things better.

I have been told that I would make a good manager by one woman that I know of and perhaps that is true of me, and while I probably would enjoy it I still have an itching to start and run my own businesses and to delegate authority to people that I felt could do the job efficently and effectively.

Generally I am relationship orientated as I am interested in creating the best relationships between a man and a woman, but at the same time I am also very business orientated and I will not hesitate to use things like NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis, and the enneagram to influence and persuade both potential lovers and potential business associates into doing things that they may not have otherwise considered and for a long time I have been studying a past relationship wondering as to what the differences and simililarities are between me and an ex girlfriend who I believe is an ISFJ and who married what I believe to be is an ISTJ based upon some of what I have read relating to astrology.

She is a pisces and here husband is a cancer while I am a gemini and although I don't really believe in what astrology has to say I did see a lot of her in the description of what a pisces is supposed to be and ever since then I have been trying to match things up on the MBTI and the ennegram because I am very curious as to where I fit into the whole puzzle.

Lately I have been reading a career test book in an attempt to help me find employment, but unfortunately I seem to keep choosing careers that are just not right for me and I am hoping to get this figured out soon so that I am making the right career and relationship choices.

I'm not sure if gender has anything to do with the MBTI and the ennnegram, but based upon what I have learned from studying seduction and and attraction about how men and women tend to relate I am start to think that there may be a correlation as women generally are emotional creatures and are thus much more likely to be feelers rather than thinkers and men generally tend to be thinkers rather than feelers because men and women generally think about things entirely different and I personally believe that has to do with a combination of evolution and biological gender, their overall personality, and of course how they are raised.

Perhaps I am on the wrong track and if so then maybe someone can help to correct me, but I would like to think that I am on the right track.

If anyone might happen to have some insights into all of this then I would greatly appreciate it you could let me as I would definitely like to get this one figured out if at all possible.
 

rdonovan1

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Is it possible for an ESFJ to be a nine with a one wing at all? I am just curious as I am currently reading a book about career tests and that has got me wondering if it at all possible.
 

01011010

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Jun 22, 2008
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INxJ
I wouldn't put too much stock into any of it. It's interesting to learn about, but none of the systems seem to offer a complete answer.
 

Jack Flak

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Jul 17, 2008
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type
Length of post 5 implies SJ. Based on a recent case, I would look into ESTJ.
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
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LoLz
How can a thinker maintain dignity while saying they're looking at books about attraction and seduction? That's what threw me off is you seem a little too touchy-feely.
 

rdonovan1

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How can a thinker maintain dignity while saying they're looking at books about attraction and seduction? That's what threw me off is you seem a little too touchy-feely.


That's a good point and that is what tends to confuse me a bit as based upon my readings of the MBTI and the way that I grew up I tend to match what the MBTI calls an ESTP yet at the same time I am also very sentimental like the ESTJ as I have been told by my ex wife that basically while I am hard on the outside I am very soft and tender on the inside and at one point in time she equated me to the equivalent of an overgrown teddy bear.

Much of what I have learned about seduction and attraction though has not come from books and has for the most part come from studying from some of the top pick up artists in the world, but not all of that has come from there as I also have a lot of interpersonal interactions with women that I have learned from.

It has only been within the last couple of years that I have been reading books relating to topics like business, sales & marketing, psychology, NLP, hypnosis, women and other related topics and as a result I have been learning a lot from those books as well as to continue learning from women and some of the top pick up artists in the world and as a result I have started to understand as to what I have been doing both right and wrong with women over the years while at the same time drawing upon many of my experiences from childhood and in many ways that has helped me to learn and evolve as a person, but unfortunately I have figured everything out as of yet and there is still a lot more for me to learn and to understand.
 

Lady_X

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^^ i'm sorry but top pick up artists in the world???
number one advice...never tell anyone that.
 

Tiltyred

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You're a T. I can tell you that much. The rest I don't know.
 

raz

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^^ i'm sorry but top pick up artists in the world???
number one advice...never tell anyone that.

Exactly. I can admit to reading a ton of top 10 lists on askmen.com, but mostly for entertainment and maybe the rare nugget of information. Otherwise, it's just leisure reading. It's not to say Thinkers won't do something like that, but that's reserved for introverted thinkers as they'll be lower on the social skills scale.
 

rdonovan1

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Dec 1, 2008
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Theres nothing wrong with the game. It is a natural part of life and there is no way around it as everyone knows that men and women can and do think and act differently and that is a proven fact. That has been proven by society, by evolution, and by science.

All the pick up arts does is to try to create better relationships by understanding both themselves, others and especially the opposite sex and whether people like it or not it has been played since the begining of time and the entire dating scene is based upon it.

Anyone that tries to refute that is either the biggest liar on the face of the earth or they are living in a bubble afraid to come out of their shell and face life head on. And for those that tend to believe in the Christian Bible it is even written in the book of Genesis that it is not wise for a man to be alone and that those words were spoken by God so either way the issue cannot be avoided as trying to avoid the issue is nothing more than a self defeating behavior and according to psychologists and psychiatrists who are very, very fond of the DSM-IV as that is their Bible that kind of thinking is crazy and those people who chose to think that way are living in a fantasy land devoid of reality and that is according to both psychologists and psychiatrists and whether people like it or not the law can and does listen to both psychologists and psychiatrists.
 

raz

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LoLz
Theres nothing wrong with the game. It is a natural part of life and there is no way around it as everyone knows that men and women can and do think and act differently and that is a proven fact. That has been proven by society, by evolution, and by science.

All the pick up arts does is to try to create better relationships by understanding both themselves, others and especially the opposite sex and whether people like it or not it has been played since the begining of time and the entire dating scene is based upon it.

Anyone that tries to refute that is either the biggest liar on the face of the earth or they are living in a bubble afraid to come out of their shell and face life head on. And for those that tend to believe in the Christian Bible it is even written in the book of Genesis that it is not wise for a man to be alone and that those words were spoken by God so either way the issue cannot be avoided as trying to avoid the issue is nothing more than a self defeating behavior and according to psychologists and psychiatrists who are very, very fond of the DSM-IV as that is their Bible that kind of thinking is crazy and those people who chose to think that way are living in a fantasy land devoid of reality and that is according to both psychologists and psychiatrists and whether people like it or not the law can and does listen to both psychologists and psychiatrists.

I'm dying to know what these top pickup artists do to get INTx girls in the sack. I'm putting my money on the INTx girl not even giving them the time of day. I only say that because my brother is the type that can get a lot of girls to go out with him. I just don't understand it, but I don't think I'm meant to. That stuff just doesn't appeal to me. However, I'm willing to bet a lot of the girls he ends up with are not INxx's.
 

Lady_X

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do whatcha gotta do...i'm just sayin don't actually ever tell anyone that...no one likes to feel played.
and no...not everyone does it.
 

rdonovan1

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Type does not really matter much if your intent is nothing more than a one night stand, but it does matter if your intent is to create a lasting relationship with the girl.

It all basically comes down to sales & marketing as well as a whole lot of customer service work while at the same time not being afraid to be a real man amongst women. Many guys out there tend to think that pickup lines work on women, but that is not true because most women are smarter than that, especially those that are constantly approached by guys all of the time using dorky sounding pickup lines like 'I lost my number, can I have yours'.

Lines like that are nothing more than an insult to women as most women can and do see right past that stuff and those that can't tend to deserve what they get.

Basically it's all about being congruent in everything that you do and say and in not being afraid to walk away.
 

Lady_X

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who you tellin??

yeah...forget all the trickery...people hate that.
 

rdonovan1

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do whatcha gotta do...i'm just sayin don't actually ever tell anyone that...no one likes to feel played.
and no...not everyone does it.


It's not about being a player. It's about being your true and authentic self and whether we like it or not there are many people in this world that lack that capability because they are too afraid to admit the truth about themselves and to get real with both themselves and with others because they are way too busy lying to both themselves and to others that they cannot see the truth of the matter and that why our society tends to get more and more screwed up every day because whether most people like it or not they are in what psychologists call denial because they are not willing to go out and find out the real truth for themselves by going out there and just being willing to make mistakes and to learn from those mistakes while at the same time being a man or woman with character, integrity, and honesty.
 

rdonovan1

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Dec 1, 2008
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Trickery happens when you lie to yourself and to others and that is what psychologists tend to call the psychology of self deception and whether people like it or not many of us have gotten to be real experts at it all and that is why there are so many problems in this world, because most people just don't really give a damn about anyone other than themselves anymore and in my opinion that is very, very sad.
 
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