Tips for Communicating With an Extroverted Thinker

[Addict_Inquiry]

Please share them!

How best to show love to an Te individual?

How does the Te individual show love?




Types that extrovert thinking are FP's and TJ's.






It's worth noting that the ENTJ is, in fact, Machiavellian. More noteworthy is the ENTJ, nescient of this behavior. It seems some believe themselves benevolent, even while they actively manipulate a situation to their will. This is done with tact and subtlety though, usually over extended periods of time. It seems that those ENTJ's who know not what they are, allow their ego to motivate them and propel them ever faster down a path of achievement. They become real assholes along the way.

 

[Noel]

Allow me to preface my post with a welcome to the forums. Good to see another inquisitive ENTJ around these parts.


AI, I'm slightly confused on what seek for an answer, but I'll try anyways.

Regarding your first question, I'd say honesty provides a nice foundation. Honesty doesn't necessarily equate with truth, but some truth lies in the fact that the person demonstrates honesty. Since Te assembles things together (Ti takes things apart), instances of honesty builds up a truth behind a person. As an Fi dominate, my method for showing love towards a Te dominate greatly differs from theirs yet we love each other for our differences. Communication sometimes falters due to different thinking processes, but stating how you think/express yourself to an individual proves rather invaluable for effective communication.

Regarding your second question, I'd say comfort provides a nice foundation. Comfort in the sense that you trust a person enough to let down your guard to them (Quite a rigorous process, I know). Allowing someone into your life should also allow yourself into their life - it's reciprocal. In doing so, your partner knows you. E.g. Their (entj) love you for your sarcasm and feel distraught when you take it personally - they then feel that you don't know them.


I've noticed several of your posts inquiring about two 'diametrically' opposed forces: ENTJ and Love. I have a good friend of mine, male entj, in the same boat as yourself. Love for an entj poses quite a few challenges on the self and the recipient. Love seems bundled in with feelings - 'which are not to be trusted.' I believe if you find an individual willing to understand you without providing pressure to do so, would prove invaluable to you. As you mature, which I see you striving for, the light switch between on and off for feelings begins to blur into a continuum of emotional rationality/rational emotions.

 

[raz]

Well, the FP's are going to extravert thinking A LOT less than the TJ's will. I've always been the kind of person who felt this instinctive need to tell someone something when I found out about something new or did something cool. Is that Te?

One other example I remember is back like 7 years ago when I was talking to someone on IM. They would get annoyed that I'd tell them every little thing I was doing. At one point, they started sending me constant IM's, "I'm looking at my company's website." "I'm looking at yahoo" "now I'm on victoriassecret.com"

You're going to be dealing with the Te a lot more with ExTJ's. With me, I have everything Te is sending out being filtered by Si first. So, you're going to be hearing a bunch of details, like now!

Basically, just be ready to deal with someone who will constantly make comments about their surroundings, and try to improve upon it. INTJ's will tell you what can be improved in their immediate world. ISTJ's will tell you what's wrong in their immediate world. ESTJ's will ask you why the hell you're not doing what you should be capable of doing. ENTJ's? Uhh. They'll likely have a better plan for something than you do.

So my guess is:

INTJ: Try to keep up with them.
ISTJ: Don't do something wrong.
ESTJ: Don't disappoint them.
ENTJ: Be ready to justify what you're doing.

 

[Uytuun]

just be ready to deal with someone who will constantly make comments about their surroundings, and try to improve upon it. INTJ's will tell you what can be improved in their immediate world.

What are these surroundings you speak of?

 

[Addict_Inquiry]

Thank you for your response, Noel. It was precisely what I was looking to hear.

 

[htb]

As an Fi dominate, my method for showing love towards a Te dominate greatly differs from theirs yet we love each other for our differences.

Those primary/inferior interactions are the stuff of odd kinship.

 

[nightning]

Please share them!

How best to show love to an Te individual?

How does the Te individual show love?

Well I dislike too much mushy stuff. Love is best demonstrated by a simple "I love you" followed by doing things that you know I'll appreciate. If I've been muttering to myself about the car or the computer having problems, I'll love it if you spend the time to fix it. How about making some dinner and plan to spend the evening doing something we both enjoy? I'll do the same in reverse for a love one. I'm quite practical.

 

[mlittrell]

one thing ive noticed with Te is saying "i love you" is just a jumble of words...

my way of getting past it is "showing" love not by saying i love you by but doing something to prove it

 

[INTJMom]

Please share them!

How best to show love to an Te individual?

How does the Te individual show love?

Types that extrovert thinking are FP's and TJ's.

It's worth noting that the ENTJ is, in fact, Machiavellian. More noteworthy is the ENTJ, nescient of this behavior. It seems some believe themselves benevolent, even while they actively manipulate a situation to their will. This is done with tact and subtlety though, usually over extended periods of time. It seems that those ENTJ's who know not what they are, allow their ego to motivate them and propel them ever faster down a path of achievement. They become real assholes along the way.

I think discovering what that person's love language is might be more important than the fact that they are Te.
We had a thread where people shared what their love language was and even within the same MB Type, there was great variation of what was perceived as "love" by that type.

Love Languages Test
Edified.org :: The Five Love Languages

 

[FDG]

Speak for yourself in regard to Machiavellism. I'm not Machiavellian in the slightest with those I love, in fact the more I like somebody the less I am able to be "Machiavellian" with them (not that I'm very good at it anyway, it just gets worse the more I am attached).

Anyway, as far as "showing me love" and "me showing love" I think I'm kind of standard in that deparment. So, words, actions, etc are good.

 

[Valiant]

^Seconded.

 

[Banana]

pardon my associative thinking

These posts are making me think about an executive I work for who is an ENTJ (classic!). After knowing him for a bit, I told him I thought he was an ENTJ, asked if he had ever taken the test and it turned out the company had tested the executives the year before and he was a very strong representive of the type (he conveyed this with pride). I mention this because it is relevant to me that he embraced and identified with the results.

We work very well together, though I am an INFP, which I have mulled over. What I have come up with so far is that we respect each other's honesty. My willingness to make an argument for an empathetic approach to management appeals to him because he finds the arguments themselves compelling - framed as "if you want to be more effective..." or 'this has failed because of a lack of scope in this approach." As an ENTJ, he has to respect an idea in its presentation (logical persuasion) and its usefullness toward an ENTJs goal of success in order to respond.

But the most illuminating "explanation" I have for his receptiveness came in casual conversation when our HR director mentioned that ever since he fell in love and got married, he has been a changed man. That his openness is in fact "new to her" and a welcome change contrasted to her past experience of him as a more arrogant, closeminded, pitiless individual.

I do not find him "open", by the way - he is a strategist and a good one.

My point is that determining how to meaningfully express romantic love to an ENTJ probably requires less of a focus on a "how" then an understanding that to an ENTJ, the integrity of the expression and its suitability to their pre-determined aims are the key factors for reaching them, period. You may not know precisely what they think about your gesture unless they want you to know, you will be left with what they do. If they give you flowers, you win!

They are so self-contained and self-referential that it seems doubtful that an "approach" will positively affect the outcome - they will either believe you or not, and they will either want to respond to your advances or not. They are smart enought to anticipate manipulation and ever watchful of being taken in. I imagine you could negatively influence an outcome by demonstrating poor character or vying for dominance, though. Let them keep the control - this is part of their identity. Pushing or forcing emotions on them seems unwise.

Ultimately, their level of personal happiness may be the deciding factor in receptivity, an element totally outside of another's control.

The TJs are quite willing to go at it alone, both personally and professionally, a tendency that contributes to their leadership ability and strength of mind and character, but can also inhibit their receptiveness across the board.

Lawdy, do I ramble . Just wanted to share these thoughts since the type interests me. From a distance, I might add

 

[Maverick]

Extraverted Thinking is a function concerned with taking decisions based on objective criteria. In order to act in a Machiavellical way, one must be able to take decisions based on subjective criteria, such as taking into account people's feelings and values to get what you want from them. Considering this, I would say that ENTJ's that try to be Machiavellical to achieve their goals are theoretically at a disadvantage compared to some other types. I would not consider ENTJ's to be typically Machiavellical, although I think that ENTJ's are so when motivated by attaining (social) power. Their drive for power may motivate them strongly to be Machiavellical, but they are theoretically not the strongest at being so.

I think that ENTJ's default mode is, rather, the opposite of Machiavellical. That is, a direct, straightforward and blunt style of communication that is impersonal in nature and based on an explicit line of reasoning. I think that Machiavelli wrote his book to cater specifically for leaders that are too honest and direct. As such, I would recommend any person trying to communicate with an ENTJ to adopt a logical style if they wish to "connect" more easily with them.

 

[Banana]

agreed

The contribution above exactly matches my experience with the ENTJ executive. He has stated more than once that he is not interested in opinions, only proof. And he has quite bluntly acknowledged his culpability and errors without prompting. Mucho integrity.

 

[Valiant]

Yes, opinions are just a waste of perfectly good air. What matters is proof.
Same with procedure, tradition and the like, it's generally just bullshit. What matters is results. In the future, if I had employees, and one of them would prefer to work during night hours dressed in a pink uniform, I would let him! I don't care one bit for stupid Rules of Engagement. It prohibits good outcomes, since every individual is different. I think other ENTJ's understand what I mean by that, since many of us seem to be a wee bit eccentric.

 

[Banana]

I attended our corporate Christmas party on Friday and have a few additional ENTJ executive moments to relay (possibly only interesting to me, but...okay)

ENTJ is the VP, so while the president (an ESFP) makes the company speech, he stands behind the prez, grinning with confidence, helping him with important details.

Prez: In 2004, we blah blah blah. This year, we blah blah blah. Last year (he pauses)

EnTJ: That would be 2007, John.

Prez: Right, thanks. In 2007....

And before my partner and I left, he approaches her, shakes her hand, tells her I have a good mind and that I am an asset to the company. Tells her, not me (strategist!).

My INFJ says she looked him straight in the eye and said "Thank you. And she has a WONDERFUL mind." Polite, firm smile.

She thinks I am wasted in a corporate atmosephere (grin). Love that girl. But anyhoo, just a few ENTJ gems for the ENTJ readership.

And...he had a beautiful, confident, intelligent, wealthy wife. Top notch choice for the executive

 

[yenom]

Extraverted Thinking is a function concerned with taking decisions based on objective criteria. In order to act in a Machiavellical way, one must be able to take decisions based on subjective criteria, such as taking into account people's feelings and values to get what you want from them. Considering this, I would say that ENTJ's that try to be Machiavellical to achieve their goals are theoretically at a disadvantage compared to some other types. I would not consider ENTJ's to be typically Machiavellical, although I think that ENTJ's are so when motivated by attaining (social) power. Their drive for power may motivate them strongly to be Machiavellical, but they are theoretically not the strongest at being so.

I think that ENTJ's default mode is, rather, the opposite of Machiavellical. That is, a direct, straightforward and blunt style of communication that is impersonal in nature and based on an explicit line of reasoning. I think that Machiavelli wrote his book to cater specifically for leaders that are too honest and direct. As such, I would recommend any person trying to communicate with an ENTJ to adopt a logical style if they wish to "connect" more easily with them.

But then again soiceity's lack of tolerance for communicating in a blunt and straightfoward manner, attributing to antisocial tendencies, and ENTJs intense desire for success and getting ahead, and to seek power by all means and above all else, can lead to machievellianism. To put it in a more direct manner, you can;t be a straight dick to climb the coporate ladder

nevertheless, if you do not want the machievellian label, you can give it to other types. we entps and estps have no problems admitting the need to manipulating situations tp get ahead.