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Has your family influenced your personality?

littledarling

New member
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
78
MBTI Type
INFJ
In my family I am the only one with a very strong intuitive function. My parents, sibling, and his wife are all strong sensers and I, in contrast, am very intuitive. Most of my extended family are sensers as well.
Has anyone experienced this before? Now that I have discovered this about my family, certain thing seems to make much more sense. My experiences growing up, interacting with family, etc. Is this unusual? It seems like it would be because of all the S influence I've had in my life. Or maybe it's fairly common? I'd like to hear your experiences, thoughts, opinions.
 

Valiant

Courage is immortality
Joined
Jul 7, 2007
Messages
3,895
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
My father, me and my brother are pretty much alike... :) They're both ENTP's... That's pretty odd. They always fight about stuff :D They mostly have huge arguments about philosophy/politics. My brother is 9 years older than me, and he probably did 60-70 percent of the parenting when I was 1-10 years old. He's a very confused person, like the caricature of a professor :D Really, really kind-hearted. My father sometimes call him "the pure heart". (LOL). He made me interested in history, politics, computers, philosophy... Most of what defines me comes from my brother. I believe that I would be a lot more evil if it wasn't for him.
 

swordpath

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
10,547
MBTI Type
ISTx
Enneagram
5w6
Me and the brother below me are sensors. My youngest bro, sister and mom/dad are Intuitive. Everyone except myself is a Feeler. lol
 

Bufo

New member
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
122
MBTI Type
onto
Enneagram
5w4
Interaction is important. Some functions develop well because they are nurtured, whereas others develop because some other are inhibited. That's what I think.
 

Simplexity

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,741
MBTI Type
INTP
I would definitely say so, I had an ENFP and INFJ older sister, as well as an ESFJ mom. So I definitely got a crash course on feeling, and how people operate and think in those contexts.

I used to have some pretty epic clashes with my ENFP sister because my feeling was so underdeveloped, it's something that I've come to appreciate now. I have an INTJ father so that also fostered my abstract thinking faculties. It was overall a pretty hectic and enjoyable childhood. I think it actually sort of fostered an interesting mix of skills, I am especially comfortable in confrontations and disputes and have little to no innate fear of authority anymore.

I think I apply a lot of my NT skills in more personal and concrete manners. Its a very interesting dilemma, my verbal abilities and logical reasoning skills are rapidly applied in more personal matters. It's a little disconcerting in that it's only focused and high tuned when I have a little emotional charge or there is a justification or argument to be made. When I'm idle and just studying its very free form and idealistic. It's as if I've learned to temporarily place my critical thinking skills under the rug a little bit and let my imagination roam to deal with people, the longer it goes on, though, the harder it is to keep them under the rug.
 
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Llewellyn

New member
Joined
Oct 30, 2008
Messages
330
MBTI Type
INtj
Enneagram
9w1
I relate to your situation. My parents and younger sister are all S, my younger brother might well be N (InTj). I heard one's interaction style can be influenced by one's family, and I do notice myself not having a clear communication style for who I really am. Sometimes someone simply displays a function that at the moment seems a hole to me (Se e.g.), but I might do this myself, I don't know.

In my wider family I don't see much N either. But I'm not sure. And I test 100% N even.

My friends, half of them (that is two), are N.
 

ZiL

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
511
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
567?
Definitely. My mom is a very sensitive ISFJ, and from being around her, I learned a lot about considering others' feelings before speaking. When I'm feeling timid or uncertain around people, I often notice that my behavior begins to mirror hers.

My dad is some kind of ESTx. I don't think he's effected the development my personality as much as my mom has.

I haven't been around my extended family much in the last ten years, so I'm not sure what effect they've had. I'm not even sure of most of their personality types. Hanging around some of them can be exasperating though. It seems that most of them are extroverted and sensor, which is fine in and of itself, it's just that I grew up in a very different environment from all of them (i.e. I didn't grow up going to church all the time or living on a farm), and so it can be hard to find common ground. They LOVE asking about what I'm majoring in and trying to make me spit out detailed life-plans; and when they find out I don't have everything in life clearly mapped, they get condescending.
 

placebo

New member
Joined
May 11, 2008
Messages
492
MBTI Type
INFP
Certainly. I mean isn't this sort of the nature/nurture thing? Of course your family is going to influence your behaviours and personality as you grow. It's this environment you're thrown into with basically no choice. Your personality develops itself as it reacts against that environment. My mother and sister are ISJs and that's definitely affected me in some ways, since it's a relatively different experience from being an INFP.
 

GinKuusouka

New member
Joined
Oct 26, 2008
Messages
237
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Growing up, I believe that my family had a huge influence on me. Both my brother and father seem to be thinkers as well as sensors (though this is only a guess for me), whereas I'm a feeler and intuitive. My mother seems to more of a sensor and a feeler, though she tended to try and be more of a thinker to please my father. I have to say that, once I felt comfortable in my own skin, I was able to use the differences and learn how to see things better from another perspective.
 

Dwigie

New member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
658
MBTI Type
INFP
I'd say my mother was the odd one out. I definitely think she's a sensor. My dad would be probably ENFJ, sister: enfp, mother: ISFJ, brother: INTJ(or INTP).
My mother had a huge influence, tremendous influence.
She kind of intoxicated me with her strong sense of realism.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Yes. My family doesn't do feelings, at least not publicly. To show them is a sign of weakness to them, especially my dad (though he cannot really control his own emotions, which he very much denies). It took moving out and finding other people like me to realize that it is ok to have strong feelings and rely on them. Before that, I felt miserable and insecure as I wasn't able to keep up with their 'logic' competitions, and was repeatedly told to supress my feelings as they were of no real importance, by just about everyone except my mom. I love my family, but I dread spending more than one day with them, for obvious reasons (with the exception of my mom and to my older brother who isn't as judgemental). It's one of the reasons I'm here. I'm trying to find a way to communicate with them in a less destructive way :)
 

Kestrel

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Nov 14, 2008
Messages
138
MBTI Type
INFJ
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2w1
My family definitely has influenced my personality. I consider myself pretty damn lucky to have an INFJ mother. We understand each other almost entirely.

If nothing else her influence (along with some others) has reinforced my values and integrity. Essentially, I'm an INFJ^2.

My brother however has not been so lucky. He's an ISTP and even though he can relate easily to the greater population he can't relate to either of my parents (ISFJ dad also) very well.

I think learning about MBTI has helped me understand and appreciate SPs in ways I hadn't really been able to before.
 

sarah

soft and silky
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
548
MBTI Type
isfp
Me and the brother below me are sensors. My youngest bro, sister and mom/dad are Intuitive. Everyone except myself is a Feeler. lol


My sister could relate to you, Beat -- she's an ISTJ stuck in a family full of Feelers. She says she wishes she could just ONCE get into an emotion-free discussion with people in our family about literature or politics or current events, but it rarely happens because people get all vehement and passionate. Luckily she has some good friends who prefer Thinking. :D

I'm heavily influenced by my INFJ mother, and I think I developed tertiary Ni at an earlier age than I would otherwise have. I credit my struggle to understand my mom as the reason I was attracted to so many NF men all throughout my teens and 20s. I eventually married an ENFJ, whom my sister refers to as the "the son Mom never had until now."

Sarah
 

Spartacuss

wholly charmed
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
677
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Yes. I'm alone in a family of feelers - nice, non-malicious feelers. Sometimes I've felt like the mean and evil one. I was definitely the cranky one. *does ebenezer scrooge* But I've learned the rational importance of taking an entire situation into consideration - including other people's reasoning, feelings and how they are likely to react. With any luck I'll get good enough at it that I don't make too many poor judgement calls because of situational myopia.
 

sarah

soft and silky
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
548
MBTI Type
isfp
I think learning about MBTI has helped me understand and appreciate SPs in ways I hadn't really been able to before.

:hug: SPs like me love Intuitives who use the MBTI to understand and appreicate us more. Thank you. I'm doing my absolute best to return the favor to NFs and NTs. The intent to improve my relationship with my INFJ mother was what got interested in this subject in the first place.

Sarah
 

Cimarron

IRL is not real
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
3,417
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I think it definitely affects it over so many years and experiences. My family members actually all have pretty similar types, very STJ overall. A stubborn pack.

My mom had a huge Feeler influence on me, like others have said. She and I (ISFJ and ISTJ) have always agreed on a lot of stuff and really understood each other, but we have different ways of handling things. Learning compromise over my teenage years was something I'm thankful for.

My dad and I (both ISTJs) have always gotten along fine. We just never have much to talk about together. We try to find common interests, because we want to talk to each other, but it doesn't happen on its own.

My oldest sister and our dad (INTJ and ISTJ) have gotten very argumentative in recent years about her future, living on her own, etc. It seems that the way they resolve it is to just try to not spend too much time cooped up in the same place. I have developed pretty much the same relationship with her as with Dad, where we want to talk to each other, but just don't have common ground and aren't great conversation-starters.

My youngest sister (ESxJ?) must feel so alone: she's the only Extravert in our family. We love her outgoing attitude.
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
No, not all of my family is composed of sensors, but most of them do come from a background which is slightly different - almost none went to high school, only one completed college, etc.
My father is ISTJ and my mother is ISFJ, however I do not think that they have influenced my development a lot, although I do think that I have tried to take on qualities from my father (my mother is somewhat neurotic, and I am extremely low on neuroticism, so I don't find her behaviors to be compatible with my personality). He's very calm and usually quite optimistic about things, and usually very kind. My mother is an OK person, but she takes up too many obligations that she cannot handle, and thus she tends to become very unhappy and snappy from time to time. Sometimes she tries to find "feeling" motivations to my actions, whereas often they're just not there.
Since I was 6, I spent the greatest majority of my day outside, that's why I think they couldn't influence me a lot.
 

sade

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Aug 23, 2008
Messages
761
Being the only feeler in the family, yes it has.
Thinking back now, it took me awhile to develope Fe.. It took me awhile to realise and accept (as feeling are considered a weakness and nothing to base decisions on in my family) that I'm a highly emotional person and in touch with my emotions. I had known that I was values driven, which my family found rather weird. And lacking of any and all sense, not good reactions. I don't normally show much emotion, and people call me calm and cool in a detached way. I still don't show much emotion, unless I let it pass throught the filter first.

My mom (ISTJ) refers to me as a stubborn ass often, I wonder just where I've gotten that from.. Or maybe it was dad.
On the other hand, she did make me rather organized person. Underwear in sock draver? Never!
I'm grungingly giving my INTP dad credit for improving my thinking. We did argue about politics and economy etc. pretty much.
Also, because of my brother I have an appreciation towards the SPs.
 
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mlittrell

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Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
1,387
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w1
mom = INFJ, dad = INTJ, sister = ESTJ

my dad helps me with development of Te quite a bit. my mom keeps me motivated. my sister and i are best friends. my half bro is an INTJ but i rarely see him. in a function sense my dad has helped me develop the most but i would never get crap done without my mom.
 

Ism

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Jun 21, 2008
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Well, my mom tests as an ESFJ, and I grew up only with her as an only child, so it might have had some impact, though mostly negative, on my part.

She's very leniant (and balanced), I suppose you could say, and I sometimes take advantage of that. So, I just act as that kid that pretty much does nothing around the house and asks her to do a lot of things for me or my way, unfortunately.

I try to watch myself more often, though, because we share a great relationship, never argue, and laugh a lot.

All in all, I think the only way her personality has influenced my personality is that I'm probably more... idle than I would have been under another roof. Though, this could be traced back to my much younger years when my very generous grandmother doted on me and I pretty much did nothing, so activity level was looww, hoo hoo. My mother might have reinforced this.
 
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