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Is this an EXFX thing?

Snow Turtle

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A friend told me: "I don't like having best friends, I prefer having lots of friendship". Knowing a few people will mean that she has to spend all her time with the same people. She wants deep friendships, but wouldn't it become difficult to know people on a deep level especially when your spaced out between so friends.

Her reasoning:
"I want to know as many people as possible so I can help them, or enhance their lives" also "That she had no one to turn to younger younger, but now wants to connect to others because she understands loneliness."
 
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entropie

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Some Extroverts long for a best friend like all their life.

But most of them do ignore that by drinking lots of alcohol :cheers:
 

Chris_in_Orbit

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I don't see why this would be strictly an extravert thing... I'm willing to bet 90% of people who were asked if they wanted to have a best friend would say yes.

Maybe your friend is rationalizing because he doesn't have a best friend. idk
 

lane777

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Well a friend told me the other day.
"I don't like having best friends, I prefer having groups of friendship" which sounds insane to me, considering one aspect of my life is to create deep relationships. I couldn't believe that somebody actually believed in that.

However upon listening more...
"I want to know as many people as possible so I can help them, or enhance their lives"

One of the stereotypes is that extraverts have more friendships but also many which aren't as deep.

How many extraverts actually identify with the above idea? How about introverts?

I loath the Best Friend title - because at some point they could dump me, which means they weren't really a best friend were they? In my opinion, the only justification for deserving such a title is loyalty, but since there is no gaurantee of loyalty, none of my friends will be christened BF. I also deny the usage of such a title because I don't like choosing favourites - I appreciate the unique qualities all my friends have to offer - and I would hate to put down my other buddies by not refering to them as my BF. That being said, I do not have casual friendships, it's either all or nothin.
 

entropie

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I don't see why this would be strictly an extravert thing... I'm willing to bet 90% of people who were asked if they wanted to have a best friend would say yes.

Maybe your friend is rationalizing because he doesn't have a best friend. idk

Well I meant, something different. But I am not ready to fully talk about it, because I do not understand it yet myself.
 

Mondo

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I'm not fond of the whole 'best friend' thing because that favors some people over others that I would consider to be friends too.
I prefer to make many deep relationships.
I'll save the really deep one for the girl of my dreams, :wubbie:
 

niffer

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I'm not fond of the whole 'best friend' thing because that favors some people over others that I would consider to be friends too.
I prefer to make many deep relationships.
I'll save the really deep one for the girl of my dreams, :wubbie:

Yeah pretty much. Also...having ONE best friend to feel obligated to be closest with...it seems kind of restricting.
 

Snow Turtle

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Well I'm not sure if it's an extravert thing or just an upbringing thing. It's not even best friends I'm talking about, I get the impression it also means a close group of friend (3-5 people)

I thought that this could be one of the major reasons that extraverts try and reach out to many people, at the expense of reducing the amount of time they could spend with other close friends. Her reasoning was that she just felt lonely when she was younger, and now wants to connect to others people because she understands how lonely it was. *shrug*

The idea's just foreign to me.
 

am_i_evil666

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I'm not fond of the whole 'best friend' thing because that favors some people over others that I would consider to be friends too.

Yeah pretty much. Also...having ONE best friend to feel obligated to be closest with...it seems kind of restricting.

i think that your idea of best fried is veeery different of mine. when you have a best friends, it's not like you have to feel obliged to be the closest with him because you deemed him "best friend", it should all be natural.
and i find it normal to prefer some people over others. yeah sure, i consider both X and Y my friends, but if i prefer spendinq more time with X because i get along better with him.....that's how it is.
i don't agree with the concept of "favoring others". it's my time and not everyone is entitled to an equal share of it. it's my choice whom to spend it with, therefore i don't consider to be favoring some over others, it's only my preference of people. and of course, the whole "favoring" concept is quite arrogant, don't you think?


hmm....i don't think i made my point really well. i had quite a lot of ideas and no idea how to organise them, but still.....:smile:
 

BerberElla

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I don't think it's an extravert thing, because my isfj would most likely have replied the same as lane777 did, and they are both introverts.

Personally I don't like having too many friends, for me I have a best friend, and maybe 1 or 2 more friends who are not my best friend but I like them enough to expend more energy on maintaining the friendship.

I watch people who have a load of friends and really don't know how they manage it because whenever I have thrown too many into the mix something has always gone horribly wrong at the end of it.

For me 2 is company and 3 is a crowd, so when i socialise with my bare handful of friends it is always on an individual 1 to 1 basis.
 

INTJMom

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Anyhow listening more towards her reasons...
"I want to know as many people as possible so I can help them, or enhance their lives"
...
This does sound like something an E would say, but I wouldn't decide that she was an E just based on that one aspect.
 

FFF

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Well a friend told me the other day.
"I don't like having best friends, I prefer having lots of friendship" which sounds insane to me. She tries to create deep friendships, but it's probably difficult with the time and effort spaced out between everyone. Knowing a few people will mean that she has to spend all her time with the same people which is something I'd be happy to go along with~

Anyhow listening more towards her reasons...
"I want to know as many people as possible so I can help them, or enhance their lives"

One of the stereotypes is that extraverts have more friendships but also many which aren't as deep.

How many extraverts actually identify with the above idea? How about introverts?

It sounds more of like an insecurity thing if ya ask me.
 

LucrativeSid

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I've had best friends before. It's not like we wore rings to symbolize a commitment to each other. The title didn't mean anything, but it was a good way to describe our relationship. We were just good friends, like brothers. I don't see how that could lessen my ability to be friends with lots of other people. In fact, I think it's a great way to make more friends, unless you only hang out with each other. It's kind of funny when you're such great friends with somebody that you don't mind ignoring them when they come over to use your computer. It's almost like family. I don't need it in my life, but I don't reject it, either.

I don't think it's an extrovert thing.
 

Cimarron

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Back in high school, I was in a few classes with a very friendly, popular girl. She was nice to everyone. I remember one time she said that "Everybody is my friend!" I asked her, "How can you be friends with everybody? That's just not possible." But she insisted that she wanted to be friends with everyone.

I thought she was exaggerating, because I couldn't comprehend that kind of attitude, but over time I realized she was serious. She really did just want to keep an open heart and an open mind to everyone. (For your info needs, she was definitely an Extroverted Feeler.)
 

mlittrell

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i prefer deep relationships over many friends. i try to create as many connections/acquaintances as possible just so i have connections for whatever i might need in life. thats how i got my summer job. that is how i can record music professionally in a studio for free. that is how i have connections to custom car work. cheap american eagle clothing. i make a whole freaking lot of connections... but close friends are what really matters. i really only have 5 really deep friends and i would give up all my other connections just for them.
 

King sns

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I can kind of relate to both... My closest friends are the most important to me, but I also like to have a lot of people in my life. I think you can have it all!
 

Frank

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I can kind of relate to both... My closest friends are the most important to me, but I also like to have a lot of people in my life. I think you can have it all!

I've got to ask, are you a promiscuous little shrew? or is it truly a stereotype?
 
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