• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Could you help me understanding this bloody fear ? And the functions linked to it...

Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
1,447
MBTI Type
*NF*
Enneagram
852
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Hey there,


When I do have time it is still a pleasure jumping here and there on the forum. Normally I am the one who gives advices here and there...

I am asking some help to try to see what functions have been developped so far at the end of 2019.
There are periods when I start to dig deep into my own mechanisms,
then when I feel this is enough, I emerge. This period has lasted quite a while.
The roots of all this is... I had been feeling particularly stressed about one private stuff, a situation that made me feel unconfortable.
Something I couldn't control inside myself and ...I don't like that feeling at all !

I felt I had to understand in depth the origins of my own projections,
so I started to write first (I need it when I feel overwhelmed). But the very first things I was thinking in the early morning (instead of my usual meditations) were:
how to deal peacefully with that ?

"That" is that the son of a dear female friend (I have a very few female friends) has tried to invite me out. And I felt very much embarrassed. He could feel I was.
I didn't talk to my friend about this. But when she called me after christmas I didn't know how to react and I refused her invitations at her place.
I know since then she probably finded me distant. But I didn't want to create problems so just prefered to avoid it. Now it is over, and I didn't react to him so everything is okay.

I am used to deal with others' fears and I love helping them resolve their own stuffs. I deal with very personnal problems at work. But they are not mine :D
Now something unknown happens to me :
I am afraid. It seems ridiculous or weird to me. I still wonder "how will things happen next ?" "should I talk to her in order to be loyal to our friendship?" "Maybe he'll try to provoke me next time".

Then I went on holidays (as I had planned it) to see some friends, and decided to buy a book on the subject, and it seemed I started to rationalize.
As I was reading and understanding my mechanisms, or maybe just escaping from mines by projecting my own shadows on the fictional characters, I felt better and better.

I am wondering which functions are those because I didn't recognize myself with those feelings of fears.
Why so much fear whereas nothing happens ? Maybe because I see so well into people that I could read a desire I didn't feel since long ago ?

I need some advise because the best thing I can do for now is try to avoid my friend, and it isn't my kind of stuff.
She probably feels something is wrong...

I talked to two male friends about this (one is ISFJ the other is EXTX), one found this funny and already called me miss Robinson (great advise as you see),
the other asked me questions about myself. Interesting but still abstract. In the end I don't know what decision (what should I say to my friend)
to take and I'm normally not an hesitant person. Some years ago I would have laughed about that and turned the page for a new one.

I am wondering if I went into what we call Loop or something ? :huh:

Normally I would have said a joke. I think I am embarrassed now because he saw me embarrassed.
The cherry on the cake is : He returned to live with her mother for a few months. Should I precise I am used to deal with young (but also older anyway)
men at work so I don't know why I'm making such a problem of a tiny stuff. I'm normally not the one to get "impressed".
 
Top