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[MBTI General] ESFP or ENFP?

coralreefhawaii1234

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2019
Messages
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Hi everyone, I'm pretty new to the Myers-Briggs and trying to figure out the "type" of a guy I recently started dating. So I'm an INFJ. Generally I "click" much better with NF or NT types. However this guy and I "clicked" pretty instantly and he told me his type was ESFP. I have been trying to figure out if he's actually an ENFP and would appreciate the opinions of folks in this forum who are better at this than myself. Here's some details:

1. ENFP? Our first conversation we discussed the state of the media industry in the U.S. and the pros and cons of using social media to disperse news. We also discussed recent political ballot measures and he was pretty interested in sharing his opinion on them. These seemed like a "big picture" conversations.

2. ENFP? His social media posts are very witty and funny. He finds the humor in news developments, sports news, etc. and is easily able to post a pun or witty joke online about it. However they're never like "the state of humanity" type posts but more or less pointing out something funny about a random billboard or an off-the-wall item at the grocery store. So finding the "humor" in daily things.

3. ESFP? Also on social media are tons of "fun" and "party" type pictures from his fraternity college days. He's generally striking a funny pose, making a face or pictured with lots of fun looking people and doing very "Se" type of social activities. His main hobbies are watching sports, golfing and going to casinos with friends.

4. ESFP? In terms of longterm goals, I'm not entirely sure what his are. We don't spend much time talking about our upbringing, our goals and dreams and passions which is one thing I'm noticing that I wish we did. If we do, it doesn't go into a high level of depth. I'm really passionate about the work I do and I realized that, after dating for a month, I've only told him about it very briefly because it's literally never come up. And sometimes I'll make a comment about something and he'll say something like "well that sucks" rather than continuing into an interesting conversation. For example, yesterday we were watching a Netflix and there was a very heavy emotional scene between the two characters. I made a comment like "I wonder how X would have caused this to happen differently" and he said "yeah true" rather than taking the conversation into more of a theoretical place.

5. ESFP? The sex was kind of mundane starting out. When I have a monogamous sexual partner I like sending racy photos back and forth and trying unique and creative things in the bedroom, and he is open to that but starting out it seemed he was more of a meat and potatoes kind of person in terms of what he likes with sex. I had to hold back initially for fear of "weirding him out." I've started amping it up a little bit and he seems receptive to it but one time I made a comment about some random thing I liked and prefaced it with "I know this is weird but I like XYZ" and his response was "haha, no judgement." To me that seemed like an ESFP trait as I read that ENFPs are more creative in the sheets and might have responded with more enthusiasm to try it.

6. ENFP? I don't get tired talking to him or being around him which I find happens to me with a lot of Sensing types. We can have good conversations about big-ticket topics -- gender equality, why people are the way they are, social justice issues -- and he actively participates. However I tend to initiate these conversation topics and once we were talking about issues surrounding racial equality and he randomly said "wow we always talk about such deep things." I didn't even notice.

Anyway, I'm new to this. Can someone provide some clarification between the S and N in the EXFP type? Anything I can look for to better type him?
 
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