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  1. #11
    Senior Member cacaia's Avatar
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    LOL, you guys!
    It's just...weird AF. And a little creepy. It makes me paranoid, like, do people research me like that to see " what I'm all about?" They'll be mightily disappointed!
    A more solid example....s colleague who had trouble with one of her students decided to call home. She researched the parents beforehand ( creepy) and discovered that one of them was in the school board. She does this sneaky thing about people all the time....I guess that's her way of preparing for a conversation with someone? Hence I entertained the idea of Te.....

  2. #12
    Somber and irritated cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cacaia View Post
    LOL, you guys!
    It's just...weird AF. And a little creepy. It makes me paranoid, like, do people research me like that to see " what I'm all about?" They'll be mightily disappointed!
    A more solid example....s colleague who had trouble with one of her students decided to call home. She researched the parents beforehand ( creepy) and discovered that one of them was in the school board. She does this sneaky thing about people all the time....I guess that's her way of preparing for a conversation with someone? Hence I entertained the idea of Te.....
    I think it's just an aspect of control and trying to get an 'edge' up on someone -- feel you 'know' more about them than they do about you -- so you have more control over any potential outcome or anything you might want to gain out of the convo/ situation, or if not that, then gaining some element of 'confidence' and keeping it to yourself that you know something about them that they don't know you know. (but this still ties to control I think) Don't think it has much to with functions per se, I think it's another aspect of psychology. I think it is tied to social posturing / maneuvering / 'being in the know', most of the time. But to your latter example, it's what I mentioned first I think -- trying to get all of the 'data' you might be able to get to make something happen that you want to happen.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #13
    Senior Member cacaia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I think it's just an aspect of control and trying to get an 'edge' up on someone -- feel you 'know' more about them than they do about you -- so you have more control over any potential outcome or anything you might want to gain out of the convo/ situation, or if not that, then gaining some element of 'confidence' and keeping it to yourself that you know something about them that they don't know you know. (but this still ties to control I think) Don't think it has much to with functions per se, I think it's another aspect of psychology. I think it is tied to social posturing / maneuvering / 'being in the know', most of the time. But to your latter example, it's what I mentioned first I think -- trying to get all of the 'data' you might be able to get to make something happen that you want to happen.
    Yes, maybe.... fascinating stuff.

  4. #14
    Shadow Sovereign Sung Jin-Woo's Avatar
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    I think certain people just like doing this, and I have observed this myself. People who community police do this, and I can see it being associated with certain types that are unhealthy.
    “No matter how much we ask after the truth, self-awareness is often unpleasant. We do not feel kindly toward the Truthsayer.”
    ― Frank Herbert, God Emperor of Dune
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  5. #15
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
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    How does the behaviour being spoken of compare with forum "post-stalking"?

    Like, say I want to know the type of a forum member. Maybe they asked in a type me thread, or maybe I just want to know it out of interest. So I trawl through the person's post history looking for relevant information to determine what their type is.

    Is that in the ballpark of what's being spoken of? Is it considered creepy at all?
    the lone star flies alone

  6. #16
    Senior Member cacaia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Legion View Post
    How does the behaviour being spoken of compare with forum "post-stalking"? Like, say I want to know the type of a forum member. Maybe they asked in a type me thread, or maybe I just want to know it out of interest. So I trawl through the person's post history looking for relevant information to determine what their type is. Is that in the ballpark of what's being spoken of? Is it considered creepy at all?
    Short answer? Yes. A little.

  7. #17
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cacaia View Post
    Short answer? Yes. A little.
    Well, I don't see what's wrong with it. Though if only "a little" maybe the behaviour mentioned oversteps boundaries in a way that I don't. I could see myself doing it though, even moreso than the example I provided.
    the lone star flies alone

  8. #18
    Senior Member cacaia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Legion View Post
    Well, I don't see what's wrong with it. Though if only "a little" maybe the behaviour mentioned oversteps boundaries in a way that I don't. I could see myself doing it though, even moreso than the example I provided.
    I mean, it's not like you're hacking into people's computers or anything , so you're good ☺️
    I'll have to sit with myself and ponder why I find such behaviors creepy, though....I dunno, what are other people's thoughts?
    I,for one, if I found out teachers were researching who I was in order to talk to me, I would feel weird, wouldn't you all?

  9. #19
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cacaia View Post
    I mean, it's not like you're hacking into people's computers or anything , so you're good ☺️
    I'll have to sit with myself and ponder why I find such behaviors creepy, though....I dunno, what are other people's thoughts?
    I,for one, if I found out teachers were researching who I was in order to talk to me, I would feel weird, wouldn't you all?
    Oh yeah, computer hacking is a big no... just the IDEA that my computer could be hacked causes me a lot of stress. The people who are responsible for those sorts of things are in for a bad time.

    I think it's uncomfortable to not know what a person knows about you. If they're honest about it and tell you, it would likely make you uncomfortable, but I wouldn't condemn them for doing it, and it's good they told you (if they did).

    I guess it comes down to intent. If a person has bad intent against you, and is digging for info to use against you, then that's obviously bad, but in that case the actions they take are secondary to the reason they were doing it.

    There's a common idea that if someone's interested enough to search up on you then you should be flattered, though I don't know if I quite buy that.
    the lone star flies alone

  10. #20
    Senior Member cacaia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Legion View Post
    Oh yeah, computer hacking is a big no... just the IDEA that my computer could be hacked causes me a lot of stress. The people who are responsible for those sorts of things are in for a bad time. I think it's uncomfortable to not know what a person knows about you. If they're honest about it and tell you, it would likely make you uncomfortable, but I wouldn't condemn them for doing it, and it's good they told you (if they did). I guess it comes down to intent. If a person has bad intent against you, and is digging for info to use against you, then that's obviously bad, but in that case the actions they take are secondary to the reason they were doing it. There's a common idea that if someone's interested enough to search up on you then you should be flattered, though I don't know if I quite buy that.
    Exactly, same here. I get paranoid first, flattered only if convinced it was done with good intentions🙂 but...good luck with convincing me 🙃😂

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