F versus T. The hot & cot war.

[Xander]

I suspect it's the browser. I will not use IE, however. </principle>

This is portable firefox I'm using. I reckon your experiencing noodle fingers. Try untangling and working slower. I used to have problems too before I got it right.

My BIL is an ENFJ, I'd peg him positive feedback. But I can't be sure. He drives me nuts, so I'd rather not have to find out....

Just get him to play fetch but with positive feedback Should keep him preoccupied.

 

[cafe]

It sounds like you are getting pretty good at figuring him out too!

Of course! I'm an NF. Figuring out the people I love and how best to please them is my mission in life. I am also way too lazy to keep doing things that don't work.

 

[Natrushka]

This is portable firefox I'm using. I reckon your experiencing noodle fingers. Try untangling and working slower. I used to have problems too before I got it right.

Nice attempt.

However, that's not it. I'm well versed in BBC code, nested quotes and multiples are not working (for me).

Re the BIL "Just get him to play fetch but with positive feedback Should keep him preoccupied." - I prefer to be unsure from afar. And he can't hug me this way.

 

[Xander]

I am generally well aware of my motives for doing things, ulterior or otherwise, so I don't double check unless something weird happens.

If someone does/says something above and beyond for/to me and it appears out of place, I question their motives.

But do you do something which hubby finds as really helpful/ motivating/ interesting which you just said almost as a matter of course but to him it means the world?

 

[Xander]

Nice attempt.

However, that's not it. I'm well versed in BBC code, nested quotes and multiples are not working (for me).

Re the BIL "Just get him to play fetch but with positive feedback Should keep him preoccupied." - I prefer to be unsure from afar. And he can't hug me this way.

You mean the whole standing there doing nothing in return, being stock still doesn't put him off?

Try spiked NFL pads :grin:

Re nested quotes... no idea. Ask RC she's a REAL geek

 

[Natrushka]

You mean the whole standing there doing nothing in return, being stock still doesn't put him off?

No, it puts off my husband though. The conformer.

I have asked, waiting on Someone Who Knows. (It's happened to Crowsie, too, I've witnessed the aftermath)

 

[chatoyer]

I'm aware of when I'm giving a compliment to an NT, it's usually about their idea/s or their competence in some area, especially with language......how they expressed an idea. I really envy how NTs think, so part of it is me trying to leech off their thinking, "wow, that was really cool, (can I steal it? how can I develop that ability?) I love how you put that".

As far as complimenting me, I can be pretty high-maintenance, I adore a really original comment, & if it's coming from someone who is pretty selective about compliment-giving (usually NTs, but can apply to all Ts), it means that much more.

 

[RDF]

But are there things which Fs do sometimes which to them may be offhand to them but means a lot to Ts?

I don't know if this counts. But sometimes at work I'm talking in a meeting and an NT will bring up a point that I hadn't considered. I'll recognize the importance of the point, and I'll respond, "Yeah, you're right. Good catch." And then I'll continue on talking (incorporating the new idea).

That seems to be a confidence-builder for NTs, especially in the workplace where how you say things is as important as what you say. What with sensitivity training and harrassment issues, I suspect that Thinkers get worried about speaking up around Feelers. And of course there are issues of rank.

Overall, Thinkers seem to be uncomfortable with an NF boss or NF senior coworker. They seem to worry that a good idea will be rejected and they'll take flak because they didn't package their idea in the right language. So if an NF boss shows appreciation for the pure idea and doesn't worry about how the idea was expressed or take amiss the fact that the NT interrupted and blurted out the idea awkwardly and with an air of exasperation, then that seems to be reassuring for the NT.

A good idea is a good idea, and I don't mind acknowledging and incorporating a good idea when I see it. But sometimes it seems to catch Ts by surprise. It seems like they don't always trust Fs to recognize a good idea without the proper packaging. So they seem to get a boost when a Feeler can appreciate the merit of the idea without getting hung up on extraneous matters.

FL

 

[heart]

I constantly analyse my thoughts, motivations and actions, both for logic and for morality.

 

[runvardh]

You worry about you seeming manipulative? I worry that I seem as such. It would seem that the reds and the blues (Fs and Ts) can be maipulative but in their own inimitable style.

The worry comes from how many Ts take things said or done by Fs. Worst ulterior motive I have is wanting to be friends, not wanting to piss someone off . Ok, so I like to bug here and there, but that's more just goofing off than anything substantial .

 

[cafe]

But do you do something which hubby finds as really helpful/ motivating/ interesting which you just said almost as a matter of course but to him it means the world?

Other than physically preening him, I don't think so. It's hard to do something on accident when it is the primary motivating factor of your life. It sorta has your conscious attention.

 

[runvardh]

Other than physically preening him, I don't think so. It's hard to do something on accident when it is the primary motivating factor of your life. It sorta has your conscious attention.

This is another thing with NFs and those whom we love; causing something that a loved one would react to postitively is 99% of the time intentional.

 

[Xander]

Chatoyer & Fineline,
Good points. I guess you can always get a good reaction with a simple congratulations on being competent. I'd guess the negative crowd are a lot more picky about what compliments they'd accept. Thanks.

Cafe,
I now have an image of you sitting behind your husband doing the monkey thing of picking out nits from his hair!

Runvardh,
I think that being nice to people tends to come naturally to most. NFs just seem to recognise this factor more often. Possibly because it's important to them. Perhaps also why NTs respond to well thought out ideas.

As for working with NFs I tend to find that addressing them personally with the idea tends to work a lot better than trying to come up with some universal theory and merely presenting it to them.

SFs I've yet to figure out. I tend to trip over the whole S/N communication problems.
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I gotta wonder if SFs notice a similar pattern. Whether they tune to Ts and Fs the same way.