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  1. #1
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    Default INTJs, How Do You Engage Your Auxiliary Te?

    My INTJ friend finally came to terms with the fact that he has been in a rut for the past few years and he's genuinely looking forward to realizing his vision.

    He said he felt like he was starting to lose his "logical side" and was looking for resources and activities to get back in touch with his Te. He was essentially trying to Te his way through dating and relationships but ultimately felt unfulfilled.

    What are some ways that he can productively re-engage his Te? What makes you feel fulfilled?
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    Speaking of late, I can't.

    I think your friend may need something which will fuel up his tertiary introverted feeling enough for him to reactivate his extraverted thinking.

    But when I say enough, I mean enough. Not "too much", nor "too little", if you catch my drift.
    "The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk."

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by magnetica View Post
    Speaking of late, I can't.

    I think your friend may need something which will fuel up his tertiary introverted feeling enough for him to reactivate his extraverted thinking.

    But when I say enough, I mean enough. Not "too much", nor "too little", if you catch my drift.
    So basically, help him find an activity/hobby that catches his interest enough for him to become invested in it (but not to the point of obsession) so that he can engage his Te through said activity? It sounds good, I'm just not sure if that's what you actually meant.

    I'd advise looking for activities that are more suited to Te, relationships/dating don't seem like the prime place for Te to shine in my opinion.
    Johari | Nohari

    Moving forward, put aside all unnecessary preconceptions, eliminate all biases, analyze all the facts without letting external influences cloud your better judgement and put together a coherent picture of the truth like a jigsaw puzzle, you have the pieces you need, the only thing left to do is to learn how to put them together properly.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amberiat View Post
    So basically, help him find an activity/hobby that catches his interest enough for him to become invested in it (but not to the point of obsession) so that he can engage his Te through said activity? It sounds good, I'm just not sure if that's what you actually meant.

    I'd advise looking for activities that are more suited to Te, relationships/dating don't seem like the prime place for Te to shine in my opinion.
    Yes. I had something that is not that much interpersonal compared to a relationship/dating in my mind, though.
    "The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk."
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnetica View Post
    Speaking of late, I can't. I think your friend may need something which will fuel up his tertiary introverted feeling enough for him to reactivate his extraverted thinking.

    But when I say enough, I mean enough. Not "too much", nor "too little", if you catch my drift.
    That's really unfortunate, my friend. I internalized just a glimpse of that chaos within him and it was pure hell....like an aimless roller-coaster ride. I hope you find the spark again! 😊 Your form of expression (writings and such) are quite beautiful.

    I think I understand what you mean. For the longest time, I couldn't make out what fueled my friend other than impulsive choices leaning towards escapism. Anything else led to indecision. So working towards a useful vision will help him with Te?

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amberiat View Post
    So basically, help him find an activity/hobby that catches his interest enough for him to become invested in it (but not to the point of obsession) so that he can engage his Te through said activity? It sounds good, I'm just not sure if that's what you actually meant.

    I'd advise looking for activities that are more suited to Te, relationships/dating don't seem like the prime place for Te to shine in my opinion.
    Yes. He was trying to use relationships and dating to stimulate Te but he seemed to short-circuit because people are like moving targets. I used to act as one of his main advisors (as a Fe dom) when it came to interpersonal issues and it was often a blind spot for him.

    What are some examples of activities that he can do? I suggested strategy games, tech/business consultant (as a long-term goal because he enjoys problem-solving and executing other people's visions without directly dealing with the interpersonal drama).

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    Quote Originally Posted by magnetica View Post
    Yes. I had something that is not that much interpersonal compared to a relationship/dating in my mind, though.
    What are some examples? I am strongly pulled towards Fe so I was stumped on giving him activities and resources that might be more stimulating for an NTJ. 😊

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Consilience View Post
    What are some examples? I am strongly pulled towards Fe so I was stumped on giving him activities and resources that might be more stimulating for an NTJ. 😊
    Give him a challenge that you know he can beat, but he'll have to try to do so. Something he would see himself worthy enough for and something he would internally deem worthy enough for him. Something that will require strategy, competence and control, but also would invoke passion at the same time.
    "The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk."
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  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Consilience View Post
    Yes. He was trying to use relationships and dating to stimulate Te but he seemed to short-circuit because people are like moving targets. I used to act as one of his main advisors (as a Fe dom) when it came to interpersonal issues and it was often a blind spot for him.

    What are some examples of activities that he can do? I suggested strategy games, tech/business consultant (as a long-term goal because he enjoys problem-solving and executing other people's visions without directly dealing with the interpersonal drama).
    Indeed strategy games can be quite an effective way to get him to engage his Te healthily, and as magnetica said they can remove the interpersonal aspect too (unless he chooses to play multiplayer games), now it depends, are you referring to video games or board games such as chess? (which would be really good too) Assuming video games, it can be a lot easier to appeal to his Fi as well, as there's a wide variety of games to choose from which allows some flexibility and you can choose them based on his topics of interest.

    Another option (if he's interested in fitness) would be to start going to the gym, he can set a long term goal in terms of muscle gain/weight loss and plan out his exercise program step by step in order to meet said goal. Though this heavily depends on whether or not he's interested in physical activity, of course. It could be a potentially useful way for him to use Te in order to fulfill a long-term vision.

    And yeah, if he's already not in a balanced relationship with his Te, putting himself in lots of interpersonal situations might just complicate things even further, causing even more distancing between him and Te.
    Johari | Nohari

    Moving forward, put aside all unnecessary preconceptions, eliminate all biases, analyze all the facts without letting external influences cloud your better judgement and put together a coherent picture of the truth like a jigsaw puzzle, you have the pieces you need, the only thing left to do is to learn how to put them together properly.
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  10. #10
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    Te is a psychological functions that has nothing to do with dating and relationships. Playing Strategy games? May be Yes.
    I was introduced to Chess in my junior high school and I used to be really addicted to it. I used to read books of chess and study some steps learn some "opening" move, "end game move", "how to win within 20 moves". I used to play with my uncles and some of my fathers ex-colleagues. But since some Chess video game were available, I haven't played with a person player for such a long time anymore.
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