Missing Him

[INTerran]

Ugh! I’m so happy and proud of Mr. INTJ for landing and excelling at his new job. However, a small part of me is a little bit blah about it. I had gotten used to having extended texting conversations almost every night, but because he’s having to expend more social energy at his new job, he’s not as talkative. I totally get it, and I’m not angry, upset, miffed, or anything. I just wanted to type out my feelings. I still get more communication, more texting, more time, etc. than anyone. And we still spend time together practically every weekend. I just miss some of our nightly chats. He’s one of the few people I can spend extensive time with and not be drained.

 

[alexa0ne]

I guess this is pretty normal, especially when you get used to the fact that he is always when you need someone to talk too. You'll be fine, he is busy preparing for a better future for both of you.

 

[Starry]

Ugh! I’m so happy and proud of Mr. INTJ for landing and excelling at his new job. However, a small part of me is a little bit blah about it. I had gotten used to having extended texting conversations almost every night, but because he’s having to expend more social energy at his new job, he’s not as talkative. I totally get it, and I’m not angry, upset, miffed, or anything. I just wanted to type out my feelings. I still get more communication, more texting, more time, etc. than anyone. And we still spend time together practically every weekend. I just miss some of our nightly chats. He’s one of the few people I can spend extensive time with and not be drained.

I understand this kind of thing sucks but it should only be temporary right? just while he gets his bearings? I couldn’t really imagine being in a relationship with someone I didn’t miss when apart.

^But this doesn’t mean being apart is or should be a bad thing. Perhaps use the time you would spend conversing doing something special for yourself.

 

[INTerran]

Yeah. I feel it’s only temporary. He’s having to expend enormous amounts of energy learning the old network system, learning the new system they are in the middle of switching to, adjusting and figuring out the social climate, etc. Other than just not talking as much/as frequently on week nights, nothing else has changed.

 

[Starry]

Yeah. I feel it’s only temporary. He’s having to expend enormous amounts of energy learning the old network system, learning the new system they are in the middle of switching to, adjusting and figuring out the social climate, etc. Other than just not talking as much/as frequently on week nights, nothing else has changed.

Well, it is a disruption to something you look forward to and in that way have kinda come to depend on. I would be bummed as well...and would definitely try and plan super awesome treats for myself to fill the same time frame until I got used to it or things went to back to normal...

 

[Coriolis]

Ugh! I’m so happy and proud of Mr. INTJ for landing and excelling at his new job. However, a small part of me is a little bit blah about it. I had gotten used to having extended texting conversations almost every night, but because he’s having to expend more social energy at his new job, he’s not as talkative. I totally get it, and I’m not angry, upset, miffed, or anything. I just wanted to type out my feelings. I still get more communication, more texting, more time, etc. than anyone. And we still spend time together practically every weekend. I just miss some of our nightly chats. He’s one of the few people I can spend extensive time with and not be drained.

If you are getting ANY calls, texting, and in-person attention during a time of concentrated effort and focus like this, you can rest assured you still hold a special, perhaps even unique, place in his life. Best advice is to give him the space he needs to address these work issues, and fill the time with pursuit of your own interests and activities, so when you do chat or get together, you have something fresh to share. INTJs seem to do best with partners or even friends who are confident in their own lives and want rather than need the INTJ's company. (Not saying you aren't like this, just spelling it out for completeness.)

 

[prplchknz]

If you are getting ANY calls, texting, and in-person attention during a time of concentrated effort and focus like this, you can rest assured you still hold a special, perhaps even unique, place in his life. Best advice is to give him the space he needs to address these work issues, and fill the time with pursuit of your own interests and activities, so when you do chat or get together, you have something fresh to share. INTJs seem to do best with partners or even friends who are confident in their own lives and want rather than need the INTJ's company. (Not saying you aren't like this, just spelling it out for completeness.)

I can see this my dad was probably an INTJ and both my parents had their own interests and activities but came together in the evening. were married 35 years before he passed.