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Why do you pursue a relationship?

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Jul 23, 2016
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O god I can't. I'm a pleasure based lover. I've never really figured it out tbh, long term relationships are not in my plans even if that's what I wanted to want.
 

Firebird 8118

DJ Phoenix
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I'd look for someone who can stand by me as an equal, who sees my behavioral madness and knows all my faults - and accepts me anyway.

That was why I pursued a relationship... only to give up. Because I keep making the same mistakes that end up pushing guys away by a thousand miles.
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
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I have temporarily halted my quest for a relationship. Life is driving me insane enough as it is at the moment.
 

The Cat

Just a Cat who hangs out at the Crossroads
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Oct 15, 2016
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23,552
Same reason as everyone else ever...

Because.
 

Lark

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Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
I pursue lots of relationships, every sort.

Because its human it do so. Shamelessly human.
 

I Tonya

Rythym of the night
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What is it about a person that makes you want to pursue a relationship with a person? What are you looking for/hoping to find in a relationship? What are the best things about being with another person?

And on a side note, at what point do you know you want to stop being single and form a relationship with another person? What is the tipping point?

Honestly, I don't know. I guess trust, time, and care.

I don't want a relationship. I have a hard time developing romantic feelings. If I did settle it would have to be logical move in marrying a partner, like when I'm ready to adopt and have a father figure for the kids. I think whoever my partner would be, they would have to keep up with my fast pace changing lifestyle.
 

Earl Grey

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Dec 3, 2017
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1) What is it about a person that makes you want to pursue a relationship with a person?
I have pretty high standards so they pretty much have to check all the core traits I seek in a person. Even so, I may not fall for them.
I find I am most attracted to people I feel have certain things that I do not. I tend to forge the best bonds with those kinds of people. So I would hope to find a partner who is my balance in a way. If I find such a person, I may be inclined to think being with them is a good idea.

2) What are you looking for/hoping to find in a relationship? + 3) What are the best things about being with another person?
I suppose the best thing of being with another person is an added security net & being able to look after each other.

4) And on a side note, at what point do you know you want to stop being single and form a relationship with another person?
What is the tipping point?

I don't really seek relationships. But if it happens, it happens (eg; I fall for someone, or someone goes after me and I favour them).
 

hurl3y4456

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
298
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SINE
I pursue a relationship to maintain sanity....I would need someone in my life to relate, expand my horizon, and laugh at my puny jokes.
The problem is that I have a fear for intimacy, so it tend to back off in most cases.
 

Kanra Jest

Av'ent'Gar'de ~
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To get my intimacy fix. Whether that be exploring sexuality, cuddling, connecting with our minds, affection, some level of merging. Although I find it nigh impossible to fully give myself up to anyone still. Therefore contradicting, and unlikely to work out anyway.
 

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
Its hardwired into the human brain I figure.

There's perhaps different priorities to pursuing it and they probably go with time and place or context too, like business networking versus socialising versus pursuing a romantic tie with someone.

One thing I do think, its kind of a thread that I've found in a lot of different writing, is that virtually every political ideology in existence has its own version of why, liberals its civil society, conservatives spontaneous order, socialists free association, fascists, communists, fundamentalists all have their own versions of hive mind or group think which is a little different (I dont think the earlier ideas are about escaping freedom, just escaping loneliness and isolation, though not necessarily dreading those things either).

I definitely do think its an intrinsic human need, although I hate at the moment the way that scarcity, economics, money is a mediator or medium which interferes with or influences relationships to quite such an extent that it does. I think among the independently wealthy there is something approaching true freedom perhaps, amongst them directly, however, even it is imperfect and they have so many others at their "beckon and call" that it has their compensations.
 

Kanra Jest

Av'ent'Gar'de ~
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I'm done. I'm probably gonna be alone and it's whatever.

No fix is worth it. Everything burns inevitably...
 

Saturnal Snowqueen

Solastalgia 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
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Jan 9, 2019
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so/sp
To have that one person to depend on, plus kisses and cuddles feel nice. Also, lately it's been easier to make a boyfriend than a friend :shock:
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
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Jan 19, 2010
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Idk, I'm pretty far removed from wanting any kind of intimate relationship. This will probably change in the future but wow I just have pretty much zero inclination. Chosing to focus on my studies, family, friendships, work, self development etc.
 

1487610420

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
6,431
 

Mole

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Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
We pursue relationships because we want to be loved rather than love. As babies we needed to be loved to survive, and we can't quite accept the fact that we can now survive without being loved. We all want a soul mate, but we don't want to be a soul mate.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
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We pursue relationships because we want to be loved rather than love. As babies we needed to be loved to survive, and we can't quite accept the fact that we can now survive without being loved. We all want a soul mate, but we don't want to be a soul mate.

Speak for yourself. You are not the only person in the world.

I both want to be loved and to love.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
Speak for yourself. You are not the only person in the world.

I both want to be loved and to love.

About once every ten years I have a nightmare. As the clock ticks towards midnight people start to disappear, and by the time midnight arrives everyone will have disappeared. I wake up, still in the nightmare and go looking for people, after a while I wake up and find myself outside in my pajamas.
 
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