• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Why do you pursue a relationship?

The Cat

Just a Cat who hangs out at the Crossroads
Staff member
Joined
Oct 15, 2016
Messages
23,553
What is it about a person that makes you want to pursue a relationship with a person?
It varies. Usually I feel their potential for a good time. If it's complimentary to my own, why not pass the time together for a spell?

What are you looking for/hoping to find in a relationship?
Enjoyable Stimulation. Depth of Connection.

What are the best things about being with another person?
Companionship. Survival. Another perspective. Sex.

And on a side note, at what point do you know you want to stop being single and form a relationship with another person? What is the tipping point?

In some ways I always do. In others I never do. Its not so much a tipping point as a pivot point.
 

Norexan

Quetzalcoatl
Joined
Jul 2, 2017
Messages
2,222
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sp
Sex. Family. Fun. Adventure. Mental compatibility. :)
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
6,266
I'm going to make an effort to pursue them.

Time to push past my bullshit, accept certain realities and just do it.
 

Stigmata

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 16, 2011
Messages
8,779
I like this answer although I don't mind going to the movies by myself - kind of prefer it.

I actually don't mind it either. Given that the expectation is for minimal noise throughout the movie, I've never really understood why people feel so insecure about being alone if you're not meant to be communicating anyway. My only guess is that the intent is on a shared experience.
 

Schrödinger's Name

Blessed With A Curse
Joined
Jul 20, 2019
Messages
1,693
I need someone to watch a movie with since I have the attention span of someone with ADD. :shrug: Having someone who can explain/summarize what just happened is pretty handy, instead of always having to rewind. (Also; I tend to press 'pause' as soon as something awkward is going to happen... Watching a movie with someone else helps. Then I won't take me a whole day to watch a three hour long movie lmao)

Being able to rest my head on their chest and to snuggle under a blanket in a cold room is also a big plus. :blush:
 

EllevenSevenSounds

Permabanned
Joined
Oct 3, 2019
Messages
147
MBTI Type
NT
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Initially for the hot sex and then the promise of romance and reverie.

LaTERz, for the hot sex and romance and reverie.

then the babies

and of course, finally, the promise of old age companionship and soul-kin.

Lot's of sex though littered throughout.
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don’t really pursue or search for relationships. I don’t feel lonely when alone, so I guess I’ve never actively felt the need to find “a someone.” Relationships happen organically for me, over time. I don’t chase love. It simply grows on its own under the right conditions.

When those conditions are right (intellectual chemistry, emotional trust, attraction, etc), I choose to foster that growth (out of a desire to maintain the connection that’s developed between us) because it’s fulfilling. It enhances my life. Love doesn’t really need reason beyond that. Share one another, grow together. And, if we grow apart, it’s okay, too. Healthy love makes us better people, in the end.

I forgot to add: personal hand warmer is a reason (or perk).
But they usually hate it.
 

Morpeko

Noble Wolf
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
5,414
MBTI Type
LEFV
Enneagram
461
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I never pursued, and I never will. If I had to pursue, I'd just never be in a relationship, honestly.

Still, I've hated being single and always wanted a positive romantic relationship of some sort. I hate being alone, I hate not perceiving myself to be wanted or loved, I hate being touch-deprived, I hate everything about it. I just don't think the indecisiveness and uncertainty of having to go seek someone and getting to know them better is ever worth it.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Typically because I can't not. The few times I have, my love and want and care draw me like a magnet to the person.
 

GoggleGirl17

Active member
Joined
Dec 9, 2017
Messages
527
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don't really like to approach relationships with romantic expectations. The typical timeline for those kinds of relationships does not interest me. I just want to enjoy the other person's energy and our connection without worrying about the long-term, and in my experience, that fluidity is what has allowed me to form honest and unique bonds with other people, rather than automatically and inorganically trying to force someone into a role I want them to play.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don't pursue relationships. If one pursues me, though, I will evaluate whether it makes sense to reciprocate, and act accordingly.
 

RadicalDoubt

Alongside Questionable Clarity
Joined
Jun 27, 2017
Messages
1,848
MBTI Type
TiSi
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I have yet to pursue relationships, but am fairly open to trying them. I like the idea of trying out a relationship (and the me connected to some degree to others is a bit easier for me tolerate/brings out more healthy self behaviors), but don't pursue primarily because I have no concept of what I'd be into, hence would not like to lead people on if I guessed wrong
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
MBTI Type
I
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
i like to be pursued and hunted. not like hunting a rabbit though. Lion hunting.
 

LillyRoar

Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2021
Messages
40
MBTI Type
ENTJ
I don’t. I never have. I’ve always had other things on my mind that occupied far more mental space than the tiny bit that was pondering relationships and romance. Not to say I don’t think they are important too, I think it’s lovely to be in a stimulating relationship. But I’ve always had other things on my mind and in my life that have been more fun and interesting to pursue.

But, boys have always found me and after some tug of war I’ve stepped into romantic relationships with them and my shortest relationship was 4 years and my longest 10 years. So for someone NOT actively pursuing relationships, I’ve actually been in relationships for the most part of my adult life.
 

SgtP3pper

Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2022
Messages
108
MBTI Type
INFP
I don't think of myself as "single" or "not single". There's no good time or bad time to be single or in a relationship for me. If someone is worth being around I'll be with them, otherwise I'll keep to myself.
 
Top